Men age like fine wine. It isn’t uncommon to see a man dating a woman who is 10, 20, or even 30 years younger than him.
While young guys might view these men with disdain or jealousy, a great deal can be learned by understanding why this dating dynamic is so common.
A man’s age has little to do with how the opposite sex perceives him. A man could be in his 40s but dress and act much younger than his age. At the same time, a younger guy could carry himself with poise and sophistication far beyond his years.
The point is that no matter your age, understanding why women find older men attractive is something to be learned. This article will cover ten different reasons why women find older men attractive.
Some things on this list might surprise you, but you can also learn from them and use them to your advantage. The goal is to help you strengthen your dating game, regardless of age.
1. Older men are seen as more mature
A big problem many women have with young guys is that they perceive them as immature. While lots of younger men don’t like to hear this, research suggests that there is, in fact, some level of truth to it.
A study commissioned by Nickelodeon UK found that men don’t mature until age 43, while women mature at age 32. That might not sound like too much of a difference, but consider that’s an 11-year difference.
Now, if you think this doesn’t apply to you, you might very well be right. I know plenty of young men in their twenties who own businesses, have traveled worldwide, and have a clear set of life goals.
At the same time, I know guys in their 60s who still watch Saturday morning cartoons.
You need to know how women perceive these things regardless of your interests or hobbies. Spending your weekend at home playing video games might be fun, but it will also cause your partner to form certain opinions about you.
Does this mean you must trade in all your fun activities and start acting like your grandfather?
Of course not, but you need to be mindful that your partner might have a drastically different definition of maturity than you do.
2. Older men provide a greater sense of stability
Stability is a broad term that can mean many different things to different people. In this instance, financial and life stability are the main factors that cause women to favor older men.
When it comes to the financial aspect, many men think this means they have to have a maxed-out 401k account, a private yacht, and enough money to buy a bottle of Cristal every time they take a woman out to dinner.
Financial stability means a man has enough income to support himself, his partner, and his family. He does not live beyond his means, and he does not make stupid decisions with his money.
Financial stability is directly tied to life stability. Money provides comfort, and a woman feels safe in the relationship when a man demonstrates that he knows how to manage his money.
Compared to a dating pool of younger guys trying to figure out their career paths and ultimate goals, an older man who worked those things out long ago can be a breath of fresh air.
Again, age is just a number, but the sooner you figure out your life path, the more attractive you’ll be to the opposite sex.
3. As they say, wisdom comes with age
When you think of a “wise man,” you probably conjure up specific images: wrinkled, old, and with a beard that hangs down to his waist.
If this is your look—and if it’s working for you—more power to you, but real wisdom is usually something much deeper than that.
A wise man is compassionate, open-minded, and a good listener. He is a high-value man, reflective and grounded enough to know what’s essential in life.
Want to know a great way to gauge if you have true wisdom? Think of how you handle conflicts. This could be in terms of your intimate relationships, work relationships, or those with your friends and family.
Conflicts of any type completely depend on how you think about them. When a conflict arises, do you automatically assume you’re right?
Here’s a little news flash: everyone thinks they’re right. If people didn’t think they were right, they would have never done what they did in the first place.
A wise man understands this; instead of being reactive, he is proactive. He knows when and how to pick his battles and understands that, usually, any conflict requires a moment of self-reflection to resolve.
Women see older men as being wiser than younger men, so they often find them more attractive. No one wants to date a person who is egotistical or ill-tempered. These are signs of immaturity, and they are a huge turn-off.
4. Women view older men in a different light compared to their past partners
Another significant factor that often drives women to older men is poor dating experiences in the past.
For a woman who sees a particular pattern developing with the types of guys she dates, opting for an older, more seasoned man might seem like the perfect solution. If you imagine things from her perspective, this makes perfect sense.
We all have that one friend who makes questionable decisions in his relationships—the guy that hits you up at 10 PM on a Tuesday night to grab a beer so he can vent about his most recent relationship disaster.
You go and listen because you’re a good friend, but as he tells you his story, you begin to think this woman who just dumped him might not have been entirely wrong. It pains you to admit it, but your buddy sounds like a massive pain in the ass.
Well, think of it this way, many women out there have dated dozens of guys like that. And if these men have all been in the same age range, it might only be logical to try to date someone slightly different.
Regardless of what age you are, it is usually a good idea to distinguish yourself from the rest of the crowd.
Notice that all the things we’re talking about are character traits of older men. These qualities are associated with being an older man, but it doesn’t mean you have to be older to embrace them.
But what if you want to be seen as a more mature, grounded, stable, and seasoned man but feel like you lack the necessary life experience? A men’s dating coach, someone who has the experience that you may be lacking, can step in to help guide you on your path.
Imagine if professional athletes were left to figure it all out independently without professional guidance. Michael Jordon could never have achieved the same success that he did without the mentorship of Dean Smith at UNC. Tom Brady wouldn’t be the Hall of Famer he is without Bill Belichick. Derick Jeter is nothing without Joe Torre. Kobe isn’t the same without Phil Jackson. The list goes on.
So whether you’re talking about sports, dating, relationships, career goals, or life in general, a seasoned coach can help you grow exponentially by instilling their knowledge and experience into you.
5. Older men know what they want
At some point in your life, did you ever find yourself in a casual relationship with a girl who you were genuinely interested in but—for whatever reason—wasn’t ready to date seriously?
Maybe you were preoccupied with your career. Maybe you wanted to explore and date other women. Maybe you didn’t want a girlfriend at the time. Whatever the reason was, it just didn’t pan out.
While this is perfectly understandable, and you need to allow yourself the freedom to explore your desires, many women—after several failed relationships—begin to develop the perception that men are playing emotional games with them.
When this happens, it’s another instance where an older man begins to look like a viable alternative. Women assume an older man has already explored the dating world and is ready for something more serious.
Older men often have a more confident and honest approach compared to their younger counterparts. And for a woman who has been misled (even if it was unintentionally) by past romantic partners, this can be a welcome change.
6. Older men provide different life experiences compared to younger men
While there is a popular conception that younger women are attracted to older men solely for their wealth, this isn’t always the truth. While people fall into relationships just for financial gain, the experience of dating an older man can be a big part of the allure.
Think back to when you were 18 years old and consider what your favorite restaurant was at that age. It’s a far cry from what you’d name today.
When I was young, I didn’t know the difference between a quality piece of steak and the cheap cuts they serve at chain restaurants. But now that I’ve tried foods from around the globe, my tastes are more refined.
Similarly, think about how you’d plan the ideal date when you were 18 compared to how you’d do it today. Dinner and a movie might have passed back then, but that’s nothing special these days.
The older a man gets, the more experienced he gains, and that’s just the natural progression of life. That experience carries over to all aspects of life, whether about finding good restaurants, planning vacations, or knowing what to do in the bedroom.
So yes, an older man may have more money than a younger man, but he also has other talents he brings to the table.
Besides, even if younger and older men have the same income, their financial priorities are completely different because of their age.
A younger man may have to save money for his mortgage, car payments, or retirement funds. An older man has probably been investing in those things for years. He can afford to burn some money on fancy dinners, trips, and other excursions.
In other words, an older man can deliver a unique dating experience.
Does this mean you can’t replicate what he does if you’re a younger man? Of course not, but you need to know how to do it. You need someone who has been there and done it themselves to show you how to breathe new life into a relationship.
7. Older men understand what it takes to make a relationship work
Young guys often fill their heads with dreams of what their ideal partner is like. They get hung up on this specific ideal and find tiny faults with every woman they date.
I am the first to say that you should never settle for anyone you aren’t entirely pleased with. The woman in your life should fulfill all your needs, and you should fulfill all of hers.
But as men grow older, they slowly realize that no one is perfect, including themselves. They don’t entirely abandon their youthful ideals but better understand that compromise is necessary to make any relationship work.
This fact often makes older men highly desirable to younger women. An older man already made his mistakes and presumedly learned from them. Now, he is ready to put in the time, effort, and commitment to make his relationships work.
We’ve all been guilty of making mistakes and regretting past relationships. While the relationships are often irrevocably damaged, we at least walk away with the experience and know how to do it better next time.
But if you have limited dating experience, you might be unable to figure these things out alone. That’s why having someone in your corner willing and able to guide you is such an asset.
8. Older men are more willing to get married
One of the most common complaints I hear from men is that the woman they’re dating wants to get married, but they just aren’t ready to commit. When I ask them why they fear marriage, they can’t articulate it; they’re “just not ready.”
This is another area where the older man has the advantage. Older men aren’t nearly as afraid of marriage as younger men because they are likely already married.
And even if they haven’t, they’ve probably got more than enough dating experience to know how to artfully navigate the topic without causing too much friction.
Now look, if you’re not ready to tie the knot, nothing will change that, and you should only make such a commitment when you are truly ready.
Just be aware that, for certain women, the prospect of dating someone looking for marriage—or, at the very least, a long-term committed partnership—is very lucrative.
9. Older men have more practice communicating their feelings
With age comes experience, and as with other areas of life, older men often know to express their emotions and listen to their partner’s needs better than younger men.
Often, I’ll hear men say that their relationship failed and were told by their partner that she “didn’t feel any emotional connection.”
This is often because younger men struggle to articulate their emotions.
If you can’t have open and honest conversations, it won’t be long before a disconnect develops between you. You need to understand that even if you don’t feel the need to share your emotions with your partner, doing so can still create stronger emotional bonds.
Men are sometimes conditioned to bottle up their emotions and, in turn, do not express what they’re truly feeling. They do this because opening up betrays their sense of masculinity.
But to be a grounded man, it is vitally essential that you healthily process your emotions. Communication is part of being human, and effectively communicating with your partner is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship.
10. Older men have more patience and understanding
Have you ever looked at someone younger than you who was struggling? You see their stress, anger, and frustration and desperately want to impart your wisdom to them to help them.
You realize the things causing them stress are inconsequential, but they’re too young to realize it. Perhaps you try to tell them to be patient or more understanding, but they refuse to listen.
What do you do? Probably resolve just to let them come to this realization themselves through time. What else can you do? They need to “grow up a little bit.”
This is all relative, and the more life experience a man has, their patience and understanding grow. What seems like a long time to a 20-year-old might seem like nothing to a 40-year-old. What feels like a lot to a 40-year-old will feel like nothing to a 60-year-old.
In other words, the older you are, the more patient you tend to be. This trait makes older man extremely attractive to women, especially when she is looking for a serious, stable, and supportive relationship.
Unfortunately, many men fail to realize when and how they are being impulsive or impatient. To them, what they’re doing is completely natural because it’s the only thing they know.
But if you put in the effort to gain the introspection necessary to become a more stable and grounded man, there is no limit to what you can accomplish. This is true both in your relationships and in life in general.
Remember that whatever your age is, that is just a number. Regarding dating and relationships, being a mature man is more about how you act than anything else.
If you feel your lack of maturity has hindered your dating game, perhaps you need outside help. But by joining me and my “band of brothers,” you’ll get exactly what you need.
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