I’m going to teach you, step-by-step, how to meet more women in the next 90 days than you’ve met all your life. And to top it off, create a lifestyle that naturally attracts the women you are most attracted to.
Instead of giving you a trite list of the best places to meet women (that you’ve read dozens of times before), I’m going to teach you what no other article will…
Exactly how to set up your lifestyle and social network to effortlessly attract high-quality women to you.
Not only will you learn where to meet women, but I’ll teach you the exact mindsets and strategies I’ve personally used to become “That Guy”, elevate your social status, and become a leader women are uncontrollably drawn to.
By the time you’re done, you’ll have a proven strategy for creating an amazing life filled close friends, powerful allies, and, of course, stunning women.
Let’s dive in.
What Billionaire Real Estate Investors Can Teach You About Meeting Women
There’s an old saying in the real estate community that success comes down to three things…
Location. Location. Location!
As cliche as it might be, it’s true. And the same principle applies when trying to create a successful dating life.
You can be the epitome of a Grounded Man…you can have a jawline like an Abercrombie model, a body like Thor, a booming bank account, a contagious smile, and enough charisma to make Dwayne Johnson look like Steve Erkel…
…But if you live in an area where few or no high-quality women live, these “assets” will never be seen. So to the women you most desire, it’s not a matter of “more” resources, you simply don’t exist.
Therefore, the first question to ask yourself when trying to find the best places to meet women is: “Do I live in a city where there is an abundance of women…especially high-quality women?”
You don’t need to live in Los Angeles or NYC (although it doesn’t hurt), but you must live in a city that attracts the kinds of women you are attracted to.
If your goal is to date a stunning model or a beautiful #bossbabe, you’ll be hard-pressed to find her living in a rural town in Northern Kansas.
Now, you might be thinking to yourself, “I get what you’re saying…but you don’t really expect me to uproot my life and move to a whole new city just to meet higher-quality women, do you?”
Yes, I do.
But not just for women. It’s important to consider the “hidden” benefits of living in a bigger city or an up-and-coming metropolis…even if those benefits come with (what seems to be) a sacrifice.
For example, if you were to move to San Diego (where I live) from a small town in the South, you would likely be forced to downsize your living situation. My rent here in Pacific Beach for a two-bedroom apartment costs more than many 5-bedroom homes with a pool in the Midwest.
The fun lifestyle, level of people and improved quality of life make the trade-off worth it by a factor of ten.
Instead of living in an oversized home (of which I would use less than 25%) as a status symbol to boost my ego, I decided to live in a modest apartment that’s only three blocks from the beach, ten minutes from downtown (and some of the best nightlife in the country), and surrounded by more adventurous activities than I can count.
Whether I want to hike around ocean cliffs, surf with the sunrise, sail the San Diego bay or enjoy some of the best Mexican food in the country…I can. Because I’ve engineered my life to surround myself with great people and fun adventures over empty bedrooms and unused square footage.
Another added benefit of living in a bigger city is that it’s easier to network with higher quality men, build a thriving social circle, and grow your career.
Because I chose to live in San Diego, I’ve been able to build an incredible network filled with multi-millionaires, true high-performers of their craft and attractive women.
While it’s true that living in a huge city like LA or NYC will force you to compete against higher-caliber men, moving somewhere like Austin, TX or Scottsdale, AZ allows you to get the best of both worlds. You’ll have an abundance of quality women and you won’t be fighting for their attention against movie producers, celebrities, and big shot entrepreneurs.
Sometimes, a single move is all it takes to change the trajectory of your entire life (and of course, your romantic future). And if you’re willing to move to a bigger city and go out just a few times a week, I promise, your dating life will greatly improve because of it.
How to Find the Best Place to Meet Women: Look for the “Golden Ratio”
As a quick side note, if you’re considering moving close to a nearby city or jetting halfway across the country to find a home base that supports the lifestyle you desire and allows you to meet more women…
…You must understand the ratio of the city where you intend to move to make sure you’re living in the best place to meet women.
If you live in a city with more men than women–even if the city has thousands of beautiful women–you’re setting yourself up for a challenge.
When the population of a city is weighted toward men, the women in that city will have their “pick of the litter”, which tends to breed entitlement among women and machismo-fueled competition among men. These women get “picked up” all the time which means you will need impeccable social skills and an understanding of attraction to succeed.
Being average will yield even below average results if in a city with ratios of higher men than women.
This is not to say it’s impossible to succeed with high-quality women in these cities…simply that you need to be on your A-game and understand that there will be competition.
If you want to improve your social skills, uncover the “lost secrets” of attraction, and build an abundant dating life filled with amazing women..
…I invite you to grab your copy of my best-selling book (more than 80,000 copies sold) The Dating Playbook for Men. In this no-nonsense guide, I’ll teach you step-by-step how to meet women, become the strong grounded man women crave, and transform your life from the inside out so you can effortlessly attract the women you desire most.
Just click below to check it out.
The 10 Best Cities for Meeting Women:
According to bestplaces.net, these are the ten best cities to meet women (after factoring in quality of life):
- New York City, NY: 15.9% more women than men
- Baltimore, MD: 15.7% more women than men
- Richmond, VA: 14.7% more women than men
- Springfield, MA: 11.6% more women than men
- Miami, FL: 9.6% more women than men
- Chicago, IL: 8.7% more women than men.
- Atlanta, GA: 8.5% more women than men
- Nashville, TN: 7.9% more women than men
- West Palm Beach, FL: 4.1% more women than men
- Los Angeles, CA: 2.1% more women than men
Special shout out to NYC, Los Angeles and Miami as having the highest quantity of quality women in my humble opinion, however, I love San Diego for the lifestyle.
So keep this mind before jumping ship and moving to a new city. Go visit the city first and talk to the locals to get a better idea of the community and where it’s headed.
Where to Meet Women 101: The Best Places to Meet High-Quality Women Day or Night
I’m going to let you in on a little secret…
When most guys say, “I don’t know where to meet women!” what they are really saying 90% of the time is, “I’m not willing to put myself in a position to meet the women I really desire…is there anywhere I can go where women will approach me and do all of the hard work?”
The simple truth, assuming you live in a metropolitan area or a well-populated city that is growing, attractive women are everywhere! You see them at the coffee shop, walking their dogs at local parks, and working out five feet away from you at the gym. But it’s up to you to take the first step and initiate the interaction.
Let me repeat. It’s not the woman’s job to approach men. It’s yours!
During the day, you can meet women:
- Doing something healthy and active: Gyms, yoga, running, fitness classes, healthy food places.
- Doing something fun and social: Day drinking, parties, live music, festivals, laying out by pool/beach
- Doing something adventurous: hiking, standup paddle boarding, surfing
- Running errands: grocery stores, shopping malls.
At night, you can find high-quality women at:
- Trendy restaurants
- Bars, lounges, theaters and clubs
- House parties
And of course, you can find a plethora of attractive, high-quality women, day or night on social media and dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, Match and Hinge.
But there’s a problem…
You already know where to meet women. You knew about all of these places before you even clicked on this article. And I’d guess that you probably don’t want to go out to bars or clubs every night to meet new women (women who are likely in a stage where you don’t want to be in a long term relationship with)…you want something more unique, authentic, something more original.
The real challenge you’re facing is not figuring out where to meet women…but rather how to meet women in a natural and authentic way instead of relying on canned lines, forced conversations or gimmicky routines.
Which is why I encourage you to take a new approach to meeting women. An approach that allows you to naturally attract women into your life instead of feeling the need to go out and “pull” them in.
An approach that will not only help you meet more women…but will improve your social life and help you become more attractive…automatically.
A New Approach to Meeting Women (and the Hidden Dangers of the “Man Cave”)
To effortlessly meet and attract new high-quality women into your life, you need to challenge the old approach of simply going to the bar or sitting around the coffee shop waiting for a cute girl to walk in and take notice of you giving you permission to meet her.
You need to create a new approach that meshes effortlessly with your lifestyle and allows you to meet the women you want without going out of your way to do it.
Luckily, this “new approach” is effortlessly simple (and a helluva lot of fun!)
The “secret” to making this new approach work for you is to shift your lifestyle from a passive consumer of entertainment (what 95% of men do in their free time) to being actively engaged with the city you live in and spending more time doing interesting and adventurous things.
Treating your entire city like your backyard and apart of your home vs this rare place you seldom explore except for when friends or family is in town.
Many men who struggle to meet the women they want aren’t “bad” at meeting or interacting with women. They’ve simply fallen into a blaze lifestyle centered around “success” and or mindless entertainment instead of adventure, exploration, and connection.
They wake up, drive to work, hustle hard, come home exhausted, and then look forward to grabbing a beer, turning on the TV or playing xbox to keep themselves occupied until they’re ready to fall asleep. They aren’t doing anything in their day to day lives that breathes aliveness into their everyday life and, as a result, they have a lackluster (or nonexistent) social life and very few opportunities to meet the women they want to date.
Ironically, the more a man finds success in his career, and grows his income the more he expands his lifestyle to make “going out” all but obsolete.
Let me explain…
Instead of going out during the day or night to entertain himself, he relaxes in his custom-built “man cave”, playing video games or watching movies on his mounted 72” television with surround sound speakers in every crevice of the home…
Instead of going out to a coffee shop and enjoying a lazy Saturday morning meeting new people or catching up with a friend, he buys a $1,000 Espresso machine so he can enjoy the best “Cup of Joe” from the comfort of his own home…
Instead of going to a popular gym or taking group workout classes, he builds an expensive garage gym so he can make those “gains” without ever leaving his home or apartment…
Instead of going out to bars or a lounge, he builds a lavish in-home bar (complete with all his favorite whiskeys and wines), billiards, and pool table and spends his Saturday nights drinking solo or with one or maybe two friends.
Most men aren’t consciously aware that their “man cave” is limiting their lifestyle and, counterintuitively, reducing their desire to go out and meet new women. But the fact remains…the more incentive you have to stay in, the fewer women you will meet and the lonelier your life will be.
The longer this “man cave” lifestyle persists the harder it becomes for him to get out of the cave and back into the real world to engage with life.
Eventually, men will associate enjoying life as spending time in the “man cave”, and going out becomes this weird activity that is rarely done and reserved for special occasions only.
The solution is simple…
Find your entertainment outside of your home. Instead of turning to devices and luxuries that cradle (read: trap) you in your tiny bubble…commit to going out, exploring, connecting, and sharing with others on a more frequent basis.
Treat your home or apartment the same way you would treat a hotel room on vacation. It’s only there for you to sleep, eat, and get ready for the upcoming day’s adventure. The hotel is not meant for you to spend all your free time, watch movies in bed and order room service.
To help you get the most out of this, here are a few tactical ways you can apply this “social life first” lifestyle.
The Foundational Pillars of Meeting Women Organically
To begin building a lifestyle that makes it easy to meet women (and have a ton of fun), we’re going to start with a few foundational lifestyle “pillars”.
By taking action on the following strategies, you’ll be able to meet more women without spending a fortune on cover charges, ubers and bottle service…and you’ll be able to meet higher quality women as a natural byproduct of your lifestyle.
1. Barbells vs. Bars: A Simple Tactic to Meet Higher Quality Women While Improving Your Life
First, I encourage you to sign up for multiple gyms and fitness centers in your area. I know this might sound expensive, but when you do the math…it really isn’t. And, because of the effectiveness of this strategy, I’m going to spend a little bit more time explaining it.
Think about it like this…
If the average gym in your area charges $40/month for membership–the industry average–and you sign up for three different gyms that offer a variety of different classes, activities, and “vibes” (e.g. CrossFit, yoga classes, group workouts, etc), you’re paying $120/month to have access to healthy environments that make it easy to meet quality women.
And…you can go to any of these gyms several days out of the week and take classes where you have the opportunity to meet attractive single women every single day.
Now, compare this to the standard fare of going to a bar or club just twice a week.
Not only will you have fewer opportunities to meet high-quality women–because you’re only going out twice a week and the women you tend to meet in these locations are often not in the right state of mind for a relationship–but you’ll be paying twice as much to do it.
If you have just three drinks a night and they cost $8 on average…you’re looking at more than $190/month just to go out twice a week and compete against dozens of other men for the attention of a few party girls.
That doesn’t even take Uber rides, cover charges, “buying rounds”, tipping and late night food into account. When you add all of these expenses up, you’ll likely be spending more than $400/month or more for a few nights of inebriated “fun” often meeting zero women in the whole process!
Also, it’s important to consider the quality of the interactions you can have at a gym/fitness center vs. a bar or club. It’s easier to strike up a conversation with a woman where you shared an experience together after a challenging hot yoga session or intense CrossFit workout than it is to cold approach a group of girls at the bar (who’ve already been approached by five other dudes and are on defense).
In my experience, the most intelligent, attractive, and grounded women all take care of their bodies. I have yet to meet a truly stunning and interesting woman who does not exercise regularly.
And, of course, those extra memberships will come with the added benefit of keeping you in shape and ensuring that you’re taking steps to become a healthier and more grounded man.
2. Why Paleo Buffs and Ketogenic Dieters Have an Easier Time Meeting Women
Some of the best places to meet women during the day (with almost no competition from other men) are trendy healthy grocery stores like Trader Joes, Whole Foods, Earth Fare, Sprouts, and your local farmer’s market.
Although I rarely do my full grocery shopping at these stores (I get 80% of my food delivered with Amazon prime now), every time I go out to buy a new bag of coffee or local avocado or raw honey…I see at least one woman who catches my attention.
Throughout the week, make a point to grab at least a few specialty items from a local “healthy food” store (even if you do the brunt of your shopping elsewhere) and you’ll be surprised at the quality of women you can meet frequenting these places.
3. Hack Your “Administrative Time” to Meet New Women and Be More Productive
Another easy way to start meeting women during the day is to go to trendy coffee shops, juice stores, bookstores, or happy hour bars to check your email, read, and relax for an hour or so.
Instead of sitting in your office or on your couch, isolated and cut off from the rest of the world, save any “low brainpower” activities (like checking email, handling administrative work, reading, or even journaling) in a trendy public spot where you can find women to meet.
Not only will you likely be more productive (according to studies) but you’ll have an easier time meeting the types of women you’re interested in since it’s naturally apart of your day, not forced.
4. Tap into the Hidden Power of “Referrals” to Meet New Women Automatically
One of my “underground” secrets for effortlessly meeting amazing women is to leverage my social circle to ask for “referrals”.
If you have a social circle of friends, it’s relatively easy to find single women in your network who are interested in meeting you.
By simply asking a close friend or his girlfriend if they have any single friends who might be a good fit in your life, you can set up a few dates and meet women by simply asking. Of course, you need to consider how you can return the value back to your friend.
As an added bonus, getting a referral from a friend instantly elevates your social status and makes the first date a lot easier.
Seriously…Pull out your phone right now and shoot off a message to 2-3 friends.
“Hey I was wondering if you knew any single women that might be interested in doing X activity with us this weekend, friends of friends, co-workers, etc, feel free to invite?”
You’ll be amazed by what happens next.
5. Swipe Your Way to a Better Social Life
Finally, we have online dating. Although I don’t encourage you to rely on apps like Tinder, Hinge or Bumble to meet women (especially because of the competition from other men and types of women these platforms tend to attract), you would be a fool not to use technology to your advantage.
You simply can’t be everywhere in your city at once, but online dating apps allows you to expand your reach and meet women you otherwise would not have meant.
By spending just 10-minutes a day swiping and messaging (likely while you’re on “The White Throne”), you can meet and set up a date with a few women a month.
Advanced Strategies for Meeting Women: How to Become “The Source” to Effortlessly Attract High-Quality Women
By implementing just a few of the “foundational lifestyle pillars”, you’ll be well on your way to meeting more women and setting up more dates.
But what if there was a “shortcut”? An advanced strategy that allowed you to not only meet high-quality women in your daily life but to actively pull high-quality women into your life in a way that gave you an “unfair” advantage and immediately put you at the top of the social food chain?
Well…there is. I call this strategy “Being the Source” and it works like this…
First, I want you to think of an activity that you personally enjoy. Something that you would do by yourself but that women also tend to enjoy.
Once you have a few ideas, ask yourself, “How can I host one of these activities on my own and lead an event that will naturally draw in amazing women?”
For example, one of my good friends (who’s a massive yoga nut) decided to start hosting a free sunset yoga class every week in Pacific Beach.
When he first started this event, he would have fewer than three attendees…and all of them were other men. But he kept at it, “marketed” the event by posting on social media, taking great photos, and encouraging his friends to bring their friends and today…he has more than 100 students show up every week…and almost 70% of them are women that live within 5 miles of the event location, which happens to be nearby his house.
Because he’s in a position of leadership (he’s the organizer and host at the event), women are naturally drawn to him and he’ll regularly have at least 5 women approach him after the class is over practically begging him if he wants to meet up for drinks or hang out later.
He’s going on more dates than ever before, never has to “force” himself to go to the bar when he doesn’t want to, and genuinely enjoys hosting the event every week, with or without women.
Therefore, the best places to meet women is by creating your own social group that women naturally want to be apart of where you are in a position of leadership.
Organizing and leading events like these aren’t easy. And most men aren’t willing to be patient and put in the hard work required to run them even when it seems no progress is being made.
So if you’re willing to stick with it and create something like this, you’ll stand head and shoulders above other men and create a fun weekly gathering that allows you to effortlessly attract the women you’re most interested in.
Jot down a few ideas for events to meet women that you could host right now. A few ideas:
- Weekly running group
- Weekly yoga group
- Weekly “bootcamp” workout
- Weekly bar crawl
- Weekly improv group
- Weekly hiking group
- Weekly cooking lessons
- Weekly surfing lessons
- Weekly book club (cheesy, but it works).
Now take action today to get this event going. Text five friends and invite them to come out (and bring a +1), post on social media, and then get started. It might take you a few months or longer, but if you stick with it, your weekly group/event could give you access to literally dozens of amazing women each month–all of whom will be drawn to you because of your status as a leader.
Exclusive Events “On Steroids”: How to Meet Women Effortlessly and Separate Yourself from Ordinary Men
To take this to the next level, I encourage you to start befriending men of influence in your area and building your social circles around them. Instead of trying to figure out where to meet women by yourself and competing with men of status and prestige, turn these men into your allies and work together as a team to build incredible social circles full of attractive women.
When you can meet and befriend high-status men who simply don’t have the time to meet women but have the resources to create fun experiences. You can become a duo where you organize and bring together women and the higher status men often gladly pay for the experiences.
Women want to be a part of elite groups and come alongside men who are doing adventurous and fun things with their lives. By expanding your social circle, you can become one of the leaders of those groups and set yourself apart from the masses of men using cheesy pickup lines and canned routines on the streets late at night.
You’ll also be privy to private events and gatherings like clothing label launches, restaurant openings, fashion weeks, and luxurious house parties. At events like these, it’s much easier to meet women because the exclusivity of the event signifies that you must be “in the know” and a part of the “Who’s who” in your area.
This is an especially effective way to meet women as you get older where going to bars/clubs late at night becomes unappealing.
You can meet high-quality women by reaching out to an “uber-succesful” friend or colleague who has an amazing high-rise penthouse, beachfront mansion or just a great place to throw events and offer to organize and host a party at his house.
What most men don’t realize is that guys in the top 1% want to have fun and be the center of attention as much as everyone else…but they often lack the time and energy to put together such events.
By offering to coordinate everything and lead the event, you will have the opportunity to meet more amazing women and he will get to host fun parties without using your own financial resources. It’s a win-win for both of you and will likely deepen your friendship more as you are providing a mutually beneficial value to each other.
Finally, I encourage you to tap into the power of “Social Lites”…highly social and high-status individuals of influence in your area like club promoters, yoga instructors (at super trendy studios), restaurant/bar owners, and DJs.
It takes time to build connections with these types of people and you’ll need to be creative to discover ways you can deliver value to them (remember…the more value you give, the more you get). But when you have an “inner circle” filled with the highest caliber men around, you will gain unfettered access to the highest-quality women in your city.
When you befriend these types of influential men, you can organize and join in on amazing events that women naturally want to be a part of.
Remember the Golden Rule of Meeting Women (Or Doom Yourself to Failure)
By using the tactics and strategies I’ve shared above, you can and will start meeting more women than you ever thought possible.
But I want to make something clear…
You do NOT have to implement everything I’ve shared in this article.
Unless your goal is to become the “Dan Bilzerian” of your area and regularly party with bikini models…you only need to find 1-2 strategies that work for you and use them consistently. Most of you reading this are only looking for one great woman with whom you can share your life.
You don’t need 100 or 20 or even 5 women. Just one (maybe two hehe).
So take a deep breath, relax and release the pressure you’re feeling right now.
You don’t need to use every strategy and you don’t need to use any of them indefinitely.
My goal in writing this article was to reframe the way you think about meeting women and where you can find women to help you realize that you don’t need to hit a bar or club every night to have a fun social circle filled with high-quality people. You can do all of the above sober if you prefer.
Whatever you decide to do, remember…this is supposed to be fun!
If you aren’t having fun, you’re doing it wrong and you will all but guarantee you never meet the women you’re most interested in.
So take what I’ve taught you today about meeting women and apply it in a way that makes sense for your dating goals. Create a lifestyle that you enjoy and that allows you to meet the women you want naturally.
Truthfully, you’re only one lifestyle shift away from meeting the woman of your dreams.
Now go take action, enjoy yourself, and start meeting the women you’ve always desired.
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