The 11 Biggest Turn-Offs For a Woman In a Relationship

Most men don’t know they’re turning a woman off until it’s too late.

You don’t know you’ve had a bad date until you’re trying to contact her for a second, and she’s either nowhere to be found – or, if you’re lucky, letting you know that she’s not interested.

Have you been that guy before? The guy who, for whatever reason, couldn’t get the woman you’re interested in to stay around?

Most guys have been there at some point, but you don’t have to stay there.

In this article, we will examine what makes women tick and what makes them tired of you. We’re going to help you become a master of attraction.

Here are the 11 biggest turn-offs for a woman in a relationship.

1. Talking Too Much About Your Ex

The easiest way to kill her interest in you is to make her needlessly jealous.

Other dating coaches might tell you that making her jealous will make you irresistible to her, but here’s the truth:

The kind of woman you want to attract will probably not be attracted to you if you’re playing childish games with her heart. She’ll probably leave.

Don’t talk about your last hookup, don’t talk about the girl you got lunch with last week, and for the love of God, don’t talk about your freaking ex-girlfriend.

It’s not a good look for you.

It makes you look lost, insecure, and even manipulative. It makes you look like a man-child who views dating as a game and the woman you’re pursuing as a prize.

Any woman worth pursuing will see this behavior and immediately excuse herself from the conversation. Don’t be that low-value man.

2. Being Rude to Service Staff

How you treat the person making your coffee or bringing you lunch says a lot about you.

In today’s busy world, it’s really easy to be an inconsiderate jerk to someone you’ll never see again. This is why people are notoriously rude and mean online.

What you’ll notice throughout this article, however, is that these easy things are typically very unattractive to women.

Conversely, being kind to service staff workers isn’t exactly difficult.

Going to the gym every day is difficult. Starting a successful business is difficult. Making a million dollars a year is difficult.

Being nice to a stranger who is providing you with a service? Not super difficult, and it’s also a huge turn-off when you don’t do it.

If you weren’t raised to do this, I’m telling you right now: be nice to these people.

Oh, and to clarify, this isn’t “nice guy behavior” either; it’s being a decent human being. It makes the world a better place and makes you more attractive.

This should be a freebie — be kind.

3. Lacking Status

Unconsciously, people who are of lower status are more unattractive than those who are of higher status.

This is why, for most people, the movie star is hotter than the barista — even if the barista is a ten and the movie star a 6.

Status is a huge key to attracting women; thus, lacking status is a huge turn-off to women.

I’m not saying you need to move to Hollywood and become the next Leo DiCaprio or Christian Bale, but I am saying that if you need to seek to elevate your status to the level of the women you are pursuing.

And with that, here’s a warning about the status:

Many people in the digital age confuse status with “social media attention” because social media is a huge part of our modern society.

Status is much deeper than that. Status is your positioning in the real world. Status means holding leadership positions, having charisma, and being someone people want to be around.

Don’t confuse status with vanity metrics.

4. No Desire to Improve Your Status

Maybe you’re not a leader. Maybe you don’t have any status.

Everyone starts here unless maybe you’re one of the lucky few winners of the genetic lottery.

Luckily, however, this doesn’t mean you’re destined for a life of struggle when dating and attracting women.

See, there’s one thing that women seem like more than anything else. This can put you above people who are even more successful than you are. I know this because I’ve been that man before.

I’ve been an unsuccessful man dating a woman who shouldn’t have been attracted to me.

Do you know why?


If you have great ambition and the desire to achieve big goals, you become a beacon of light to women. Pair this ambition with the hustle to pursue your ambitions.

You’ll never have trouble attracting women.

Have big goals and do what you say you’re going to do. The rest will all but take care of itself.

5. Not Knowing How to Have Fun

So far, everything I’ve listed here requires you to do some work.

This point doesn’t. This is the opposite, and I know what you’re thinking.

“Being attractive is exhausting! There are so many rules to remember.”

I’ll tell you what’s more exhausting than being attractive: being lonely and unattractive.

To be attractive, you need status, ambition, and to know how to have a good time.

Being weak is exhausting. Being strong, on the other hand, is energizing.

As you strive to improve your status, you’ll find that more “fun” opportunities will arise. You’re going to start having the chance to experience the world in ways that you’ve never been able to before.

Having a good time is attractive — in fact, research shows that joy is contagious. If you’re joyful, other people will want to be around you.

This is also why social media is such a complicated issue.

Having a fun and exciting life is so exciting that some people make their entire personality their ability to show off their highlight reels — their joy.

What you need to think about with this is balance.

Have the status and the ambition to improve yourself, but don’t become married to the grind. No one’s attracted to someone who works all the time. How can you be attracted to someone who you never see?

You’re looking for a girlfriend, not a business partner.

You must fill all 3 cups equally.

6. Blatantly Checking Out Other Women

This falls into a similar category of talking about your exes, but people often consider it a much lighter offense.

And look, I’m not saying you need to walk around with blinders on whenever you’re with your girlfriend; I’m just saying that in a society where women are constantly being judged on their appearance, they’re probably going to feel inferior when they’re thrust into a comparison with a stranger because you were careless with your gaze.

Appreciating beauty is fine, but the more committed you get in a new relationship, the less you should do it.

Women (and people in general) don’t like feeling like they constantly have to worry about you leaving them for someone else.

This anxiety is a huge turn-off for them.

7. Being Unintelligent

This is an easy one to fix, but most guys don’t do it.

Be curious about the world. Become smart.

You don’t need to be a university professor (at a certain point, being smart may hinder your chances with women), but you can not allow yourself to become intellectually complacent. You must constantly strive to build a better brain.

This goes back to the point of ambition. Being a know-it-all is a turnoff, but being smart and driven is very attractive.

As you get smarter, you’ll find that your status is rising as well, making you more attractive to women.

On the other hand, when women see someone unintelligent, they see someone they need to babysit. They don’t see a man; they see a lost puppy.

Don’t be a lost puppy — read books and learn skills.

8. Being Too Self-Centered

Listening is a lost art in the modern world.

It’s also a very attractive art to be good at.

If the girl you’re seeing feels like she’s wasting her words while talking to you, it’s not long before she feels like she’s wasting her time by talking to you. Your chances are gone the second she’s decided to feel this way.

Being a bad listener (even if you’re just tired or distracted) makes you appear self-centered. No one is attracted to someone who is overly self-centered.

Worse than being bad at listening is talking too much about yourself. I made this mistake when I was younger.

She already thinks you are interesting, so she’s talking to you as much as she is. That’s why she’s entertaining you.

The more you talk about yourself in a fleeting effort to prove your worth to her, the less interesting (and more insecure) you will appear.

Go against what your insecure ego tells you to do: shut up and listen.

You’ll thank me later.

9. Being a Liar

Honesty is almost always the best policy for navigating conflict in relationships.

Most people agree that honesty is the best policy for all of life. Honest men are better (and more attractive) than dishonest ones.

If you develop the habit of living an honest life, you’ll learn the shame of acting in a way that hurts people. You’ll feel shame.

In the short term, this is going to hurt. It will make you feel ugly and gross to realize that you’re not as “good” as you thought.

However, over time, honesty plays a very positive role in your life. As your brain starts to recognize how crappy you feel when you’re dishonest and “evil,” you’ll start to act better unconsciously.

You’ll get stronger, you’ll shine brighter, and your status will begin to climb. From here, the path to becoming more attractive is almost easy.

Honest people are more valuable, and valuable people are more attractive.

10. Poor Hygiene/Self-Care

This should be an easy fix, but many guys struggle with personal hygiene more than they should.

Here are a few essential hygiene rules:

  • If you’re going to see someone you’re attracted to, you should shower beforehand.
  • If you go to the gym, get in the shower when you’re done.
  • If you are sweaty from work or a day outside, get in the shower.
  • Brush your teeth at least 2x per day.
  • Keep your apartment/house clean. Make it look like you’ve paid for someone to clean it. If this is too hard, pay someone to clean it.
  • Change your sheets often.
  • Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.

I’ve never had a woman break up with me solely because of a hygiene problem, but in my early 20s, it was certainly something that became a “red flag.”

If you have bad hygiene, no goals, and constantly talk about yourself, good luck getting to a third date with any woman you’re attracted to.

Being clean is sexy – and the women you’re after will agree.

As men, we tend to get caught up in achievement, pursuit, and our goals. Don’t forget to set your house in order and care for your body.

11. Putting Up a Fake Persona

This is the hardest point on this list to understand.

If you read this article and try to implement the points here, you’re on the right track to attracting more women.

But what if you take it too far? What if you lose yourself and become some inauthentic version of yourself to become a “playboy” or a “tough guy”?

It’s muddy waters from there. This is how you become “a social chameleon,” someone who changes colors so that they can survive.

Yes — you might attract women. You might go on dates. You might get laid. You might even get a girlfriend.

What you’ll learn, however, is that if you’re constantly acting as this “social chameleon” to get laid, you’re ruining two people’s experiences.

Disception breeds low-quality relationships; inauthenticity is a pathway to misery and infidelity.

Your facade will repel the women you want to attract. They won’t want to go anywhere near you.

To attract high-quality relationships with high-quality women, you must focus on being the best version of yourself, not some cookie-cutter dating “expert”.

You can do everything right on paper, but you’ll be miserable if you’re playing a character that isn’t you.

Understanding that sentence will change your life.


If you know what turns a woman off, you’re much closer to figuring out how to turn her on and become a master of attraction.

Attraction, just like anything else in life worth mastering, takes time. There will be hiccups along the way.

It’s not easy to understand the attraction, but you can understand it.

However, you might need some extra help.

That’s why I want to tell you about my exclusive coaching program, led by my team of experienced men’s coaches and me.

See, this program isn’t only going to help you break free from nice guy behaviors, build quality romantic relationships, and become a stronger Grounded Man. It’s also going to provide you with support from both myself and my elite community of men. Our coaches provide informed professional advice on how to play hard to get, among other important relationship principles.

We’re going to help you learn how to get to know people without being desperate, clingy, or weak.

No drama, no games, just growth. This will be the last self-development group you’ll ever need.

With this program, you’ll be tapped into your own “band of brothers” and you’ll also have access to the best training course for men in existence today, as well as weekly calls with my team of inspiring and determined coaches. There are no boys, no complainers, or dabblers, this program is for serious men only.

Click here to watch my new client orientation.

The Times Have Changed. This is the Way Forward in 2024.

Here’s how I can help in my new FREE training on becoming a stronger Grounded Man:

1. The new path for men that creates a purpose driven life and doesn’t require you to lose your personal power, put women on a pedestal or sacrifice your goals.

2. Why men consistently settle and ignore the most important areas of life like the quality of their intimate relationships, social life and happiness and how to optimize all three without sacrificing professional growth.

3. The biggest mistake 97% of men make that breeds loneliness, breakups and emasculation that is absolutely reversible with this counter intuitive strategy.