006 David Wygant: Love Yourself, Be Authentic and Attract the Woman of Your Dreams

David Wygant is an internationally-renowned dating and relationship coach, author and speaker. Through his boot camps, personal coaching and his website, his advice has transformed the dating lives and relationships of hundreds of thousands of people from every corner of the globe. His funny — yet always direct — approach to dating, sex and relationships has revolutionized how people meet and interact with the opposite sex.

Over the last thirteen years, David has become one of the most frequently-quoted dating experts in the media. He offers his advice as a lead writer for Yahoo! Personals, AskMen, Huffington Post and across television segments, newspapers and magazines, including MTV, The New York Times, MSNBC, Fox News, Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health and E! Entertainment Television — as well as on over 2,000 radio shows.

Favorite Success Quote

“I’ve got lovers and I’ve got haters, as long as I can create an emotion in people that’s all I care for. If everybody loves you? Than you haven’t created an emotion. There just followers.” – Howard Stern

Key Points

1. Be Authentic

Society has built up a false image in the minds of most men about who we “need” to be.

Men imagine that the only guy who gets the girl is the multi millionaire who rides a Harley, smokes Marlboro Reds, wears a leather jacket, and bare knuckle boxes for fun.

And yes…

There are plenty of men just like that who are incredible with women.

But that doesn’t have to be you.

You don’t have to be someone that you are not to connect with a woman and have an incredible sex life.

In fact, by trying to build up this facade and hiding behind a mask of faux masculinity you are actually damaging your chances of success with women!

If you want women to like you, then just be yourself.

Be authentic, say what is on your mind, be unapologetic about who you are and what you want.

Don’t let a woman’s approval dictate your actions.

At the end of the day, women respect and want to be with a man who has integrity, a man who is authentic, and a man who is unafraid to be vulnerable and real with everyone he meets.

2. Women Wants a Man Who Will Take Romantic Control 

Once you have successfully met a woman who you genuinely enjoy being with, the key to creating sustainable attraction is taking control.

Not in the clingy, need, hell… creepy sense of the word either.

I don’t mean you need to hack her phone, tell her where she can and can’t go or constantly check up on her.

This kind of control is a sign of unhealthy psychological problems.

I am referring to romantic control.

The kind of man who meets a woman, talks with her, sparks attraction and then takes control of the relationship.

The kind of man who approaches unapologetic ally and says what he is feeling.

The kind of man who says “Hey, let’s go out tonight, I will pick you up at 7:30, dress nicely” leaving her to imagine the night of romance and passion instead of the man who says “Hey what do you want to do? I really want you to like me and I’m too insecure to take charge and be a f*cking man.”

3. Forget “Night Game”

Going out at night is one of the worst ways to meet women.

Bar none.

When you are out at bars and clubs, women are with their friends, the music is loud, there are tons of other guys competing for her competition.

If you want to truly improve your ability to meet and connect with amazing women, then start making an effort during the day.

Say hello to women that you meet at coffee shops, grocery stores, book stores, and any other place that you regularly frequent.

Not only will you not be competing with other men (or trying to deal with her bitchy friends) but the atmosphere feels safe and will provide a great environment for real connection and attraction.

4. Learn to Notice the Details About Women to Connect More Authentically

I want you to imagine two men.

Man #1 has read the game and the mystery method and has decided that he is going to follow a strict routine to approach and seduce women.

He sees a girl he fancies while he is having coffee one day and decides to approach.

He psyches himself up and then walks over to her and says “Hello, I couldn’t help but notice you over hear and blah blah blah blah”.

He tries some corny sexual escalation move where he touches the small of her back (completely out of context) and she quickly excuses herself, leaving in a hurry.

The second man is authentic.

He doesn’t rely on gimmicky lines or stupid tricks, he just says what’s on his mind and pays attention to the small details about the women he meets.

He is at that same coffee shop a day later and notices the same girl while they are standing in line to get a coffee.

A huge smile comes over her face whenever she gets her Triple Bypass Smoked Frappuccino with 3 pumps of caramel (and God knows what else).

He smiles to himself and jokingly says to the girl “Damn! Either you have had the best day ever or you have a serious caffeine addiction”.

She laughs and smiles back at him and they get to talking.

He gets her number, and they go out on several dates later that week.

All because he paid attention to the details and was authentic in his interaction.

5. Become a Doer

Men, if you want to get better with women…

Be a doer.


Stop worrying about theory and hypothetical garbage and just do.

Go out and meet women.

Learn to talk to women by talking to lots of women.

Approach, get rejected, fall on your face, pick yourself up and laugh it off.

This is the only way to get great with women.

Influential Books

The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield

The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell

The Shining by Stephen King

Current Business



Always Talk to Strangers

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2 thoughts on “006 David Wygant: Love Yourself, Be Authentic and Attract the Woman of Your Dreams”

  1. “No more skirting around the truth” -exactly. So many guys are thinking about what to say next and not even listening to the conversation. No one likes to be interviewed, especially by strangers. Just focus on being present, aware, and clear in your intentions.

  2. “Speak what’s on your mind – it doesn’t matter”.

    So true. In fact, if you aren’t doing that then you’re LYING. That’s not being a “nice guy”, it’s being manipulative.

    Obviously that doesn’t mean speaking everything in your mind, but it means to just tell her what you actually want to say to her.

    And life gets soooo much easier once we’re honest with ourselves and with other people. Especially women.

    I remember the first time I really internalized this. I was at a bar, and I thought that this girl was really cute…so I went up to her and told her that. She responded, “You’re cute too.”

    No more skirting around the truth 😉

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