Do you remember the girl that made you feel the way that no one else could?
The energy, excitement and tension that made you feel so alive and you wanted the moment to last forever.
Imagine being with this woman, getting along just perfect, deeply in love, and having a great connection every day.
If any of the above sparks your interest and you want to learn how to get a girlfriend then you need to pay attention.
I am going to help you improve your dating and relationships with women and reveal everything I’ve learned after interviewing 200+ dating and relationship experts and going on my own personal journey of success in dating and relationships.
I’m going to give you the raw relationship advice for men that no other sites will share and teach you definitively how to get a girl to like you and how to start dating the highest quality women around.
You see, so much about becoming improving with women, dating and getting a girlfriend is about improving yourself. Being a man is about reaching your own personal apex. It’s about becoming the best version of yourself, improving your confidence, honing your social skills, understanding female psyche and being able to make bold moves to get what you want.
My goal in this article is to significantly reduce and prevent men from the following:
- being friend-zoned by attractive women
- massive amounts of frustration
- excessive adult website use
- depression and loneliness
- neediness and believing “I need a girlfriend” to be complete
- being cheated on
- giving up on their dating life and relationships altogether
I assure you that at the end of this article you will have a new understanding of what women want in a man, and, more importantly, how to get girls to like you and how to date amazing women using the knowledge I’m about to share with you.
I will show you what no other article would ever dare show you for free: what women actually respond to.
Tip: Use this article as a guide. Bookmark it. Share it with friends and discuss it together.
Lesson 1: The #1 Myth About What Women Really Want Debunked
Most relationship advice for men sucks because it convinces men that they can’t have the women they want because they don’t have enough money or good enough looks.
Let’s be real – money and good looks will get the woman’s attention, but that is all. It’s like a nice billboard advertisement it gets your attention but it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll buy the product. The media has done a great job at making you believe in the erroneous assumption that money and six pack abs is the path to get your dream girl.
When you use money to take a woman out to nice dinners and to buy her gifts too early in the relationship, the woman will begin to think the man is trying to BUY her affection. Women see this as manipulation… and a LACK OF CONFIDENCE. Both of these are instant attraction killers. The woman may still answer your calls and let you take her out, but that is simply because she enjoys free stuff.
And who doesn’t?! Think about it.
Women Will Only “Use” You If You Allow Yourself to Be Used
You take this woman out and buy her stuff. You take her to a nice dinner. And then she heads home and meets the guy she really wants to be with.
This guy does nothing for her except hang out, have fun with her and build tension yet he is the one taking her home while the other guy just dropped $150+ in one night on a date that lasted 1.5 hours.
[quote]After a certain point, money is meaningless. It ceases to be the goal. The game is what counts. – Aristotle Onassis[/quote]
Women want men who have the confidence to know that he can have a good time with her without pulling out his wallet for everything. Very few men know this, and guy who worked his tail off for the sole purpose of attracting women through power cannot even comprehend this fact. If you spend too much money on a woman or do too many favors for her, you are subtly telling her that your pocketbook is ALL YOU HAVE TO OFFER.
And if she actually likes this then my advice to men is: RUN!
Personality is the key to being good with women and learning how to date like the top 1% of men.
It’s organic, it’s natural, and it’s who you are. Deep down, women are attracted to your personality more-so than any other trait of a man. When you build up your personality you simultaneously increase your attractiveness.
Lesson 2: How To Take Women Off The Pedestal And Reclaim Your Masculinity
When you ask a woman what she want’s in a man one of the first thing she’ll say is “a nice guy”. Yes, it’s what women want, but it’s not what they respond to. And I am not suggesting that you go completely 180 right now and turn into an arrogant jerk either.
Ok, you’ve eaten a Snickers bar right? Deep down in there is the soft chewy center of a man. It’s not a bad thing to be soft and vulnerable inside, but just be aware that women are not necessarily ATTRACTED to the soft, limp man until she’s first seen the HARD side of him and knows it’s there.
Develop Your Feminine, But Don’t Live In It
Because when you’re soft (expressing feminine character), you put the woman in a masculine role. Typically, a woman can only feel attraction for a man when she is in her feminine, therefore as a man you need to step into the masculine dominant role more.
You become soft because you have the scarcity mentality. You’re not thinking about the big picture. You think there are just a few women out there and there’s nothing you can do about it. You think: “There is NOBODY out there for me so I better treat this one girl amazing because I don’t know if and when I will ever experience this again”.
[quote]Having a low opinion of yourself is not “modesty”. It’s self-destruction. Holding your uniqueness in high regard is not “egotism”. It’s a necessary precondition to happiness and success. – Bobbe Sommer[/quote]
When you start thinking like this, you start liking girls that remotely show any signs of interest in you. You think you can’t create that same connection with another girl, so you settle for less than you deserve without even realizing it
YOU NEED TO REMOVE THE SCARCITY MENTALITY FROM YOUR LIFE AND SWITCH TO THE ABUNDANCE MENTALITY.
It is strictly social conditioning.
There is more than one girl that you can have this feeling with. In fact, there are billions of women out there. And you can date these women when you take women off the pedestal you hand crafted out of gold for her.
Stop Placing Women On Pedestals!
It doesn’t serve you and women don’t like it in the long run.
Check this out: Let’s say you meet a guy as a friend and then after only a few days he started buying you a bunch of stuff and paying for all your food and drinks. Then texts to make sure you got home ok, and “likes” all your Facebook posts. Sends you random gifts. What a weird dude…
Do you know what the pedestal does? It allows women to recline into the comfort you lavish them with, put their foot in your mouth that gives too many fake compliments, buys too many gifts, always being available and lets her walk all over you. Too early man it’s over before it started…
You minus well lay on the floor and tell her to walk all over you!
Always be a gentleman, but don’t be a little boy.
Women will only respect you for how much you respect yourself.
If you want to know how to get girls to like you and how to date high quality women with ease, the answer is simple. Eradicate the idea that “I need a girlfriend” from your mentality and remove women from the pedastal.
Believe it or not, women hate being put on a pedestal! When you put women on pedestals, you see them as an overly valued commodity and not as a regular human being, which further pushes her away and into the arms of another man who respects himself.
Put yourself in the woman’s shoes…
Imagine a woman chasing you. She is constantly calling you. Every morning you get a text and you only hung out twice. She gets upset when you hang with your friends and you are not even dating. She left you an emotional voice mail when you forgot to respond to her text one time…This girl is crazy right? That’s the same as the nice needy guy. Don’t be that guy!
Nothing scares a woman off faster than a guy who becomes emotionally involved way too quickly. It is desperate, and makes the girl think: “What is wrong with this guy? Why is he in love with me already? Why is he pausing his life for me when we just met?
Something must be wrong with him she’ll think.
The guys that care too much lowers his own value and doesn’t create sentiments of allure because guys that care too much are telling women– through concern, through availability, through his being there too much- that he is in fact, not special or unique at all. He is just kind of there. He is more available than hydrogen, more common than dirt, and freer to talk to than the operator at Home Depot – but a smooth operator he is not..
Ultimately, the girl wants the guy that doesn’t need her to be happy, but wants her to be apart of his life.
Ideally, the guy wants her really bad. But NEVER should he want her so much that he’ll start putting her on a pedestal and start valuing her over himself and his own life.
She’ll run faster than Usain Bolt in the Olympics and any person who has respect for himself would do the same.
Lesson 3: High Quality Women Date High Quality Men
I’m going to let you in on a little secret…
If you want to know how to get a date with the highest quality women around, the answer is simple. Become the highest quality man you can.
Wait a minute, so you’re telling me that I can’t play video games, drink booze, watch Netflix and smoke who knows what everyday and be attractive to high quality women?
To attain a relationship with the woman of your dreams, you need to create an ABUNDANCE MENTALITY.
When you’re coming from this frame of mind, you demonstrate that you are a man of value. A man who has options is a man with power. Being a man of value is not something you can fake with little tricks and gimmicks, it’s something you are or you aren’t.
Go out and meet new women regularly. Stop rejecting yourself by not even talking to women you see all around you.
[quote]When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears. – Anthony Robbins[/quote]
Socialize with more women, learn how to date more women, have intimate connections with more women (I don’t support cheating!). A lot of guys are put off by socializing with women they wouldn’t normally date. This is a weak mentality of worrying about what others think.
Listen up I have news for you:
If you want to be good with high quality women, you need to be good with all women.
Take surfing for example: During the course of learning how to surf, you can’t just say, “I only want to surf 10 foot waves. Anything lower is a waste of my time..” NO! You have to be good with all waves. No matter how wide, how tall, or how scary, you must try to ride them all in all environments. Just like surfing, with continuous practice, you can improve with women and dating.
Reality Check: Driving a car at 80mph and changing lanes with other cars on a freeway is more dangerous than approaching and talking to a girl you find attractive. Over 1.3 million people every year die in a car accident whereas not one person has died from saying “hello” to a girl.
Yet you drive everyday without any fear.
See, once you know and understand the kinds of personality traits that attract women, then you focus on cultivating those traits in yourself.
Get in touch with your adventurous side and make an effort to develop your sense of humor, self confidence and social skills. The more you improve yourself, the more high quality women will be interested in you.
When you improve your life you improve your relationships and all of the people inside your life.
Lesson 4: The Grim Reaper of Attraction that 97% of Men Always Do
I’m about to reveal the most powerful relationship advice for men.
You will never, ever logically convince a girl to feel attraction for you.
Telling a woman about your fancy car, nice house, big paycheck, or even your ability in bed will never go over well with a woman. This is the part that many financially successful guys just don’t seem to get and refuse to understand.
Women are emotional. Men are logical.
To improve with women and dating you must understand and speak their language. You must get on their emotional wave length. Women like you because of the vibe you give off. The way you make them feel is everything. It is all they will remember about you.
[quote]All God does is watch us and kills us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring. – Chuck Palahniuk[/quote]
When you are with a woman, you are not in court trying to prove your case why this girl belongs with you okay. Men are way too logical. If you have struggled with women and dating in the past, then you’re likely too logical and boring or at least when you’re with her.
So how do you do this you might ask?
This statement will change everything:
Don’t change her mind. Change her mood!
Those are words to live by… If you want something from a woman then explaining it to her will not work. Change her mood and her mind by changing her emotions.
Are you getting this? This is huge…
If you want to take a girl out and you just tell her let’s go to the Italian restaurant and she responds, “Ugghhhh”, “Mehhhh”, or “Ummm, ok” she is already bored and may go along with the flow unless she has something better to do.
The better alternative would be to grab her, spin her and sweep her off her feet. Say something with bravado like: “Mio amore be ready by 7pm! We’re going to experience Italy tonight.”
In this scene, she’s thinking: “What is going on! This is new and exciting. What will I wear?”
You cannot logically explain your way to sweep a woman off their feet. It’s done through emotions.
Stimulate her emotions. Have fun. Be the wild man she can’t control, but so badly wants to tame. Make her react to your actions and stop waiting to be put on. She will want to go out with you again because of the vibe, energy, and emotions you give off and the adventures you spontaneously create for her.
Every woman is secretly looking for the wild man who will sweep her off her feet and take her on an adventure away from the daily drudgery of life.
Major epiphany: Energy creates motion, motion creates emotions, and women are highly emotional beings.
Remember, a woman is attracted to you because of your personality and the emotions you create in her mind and body. Show your personality more. Let it shine. Be someone. Be EVENTFUL.
If you want to learn how to get a girl to like you…this is the answer.
After a few weeks she doesn’t even notice your physical looks or what kind of car you drive as much as she does the way you make her feel.
Always ask yourself “what would make this a better experience?”
Choose the option that forces you to make a bold move, then do it scared.
You live once my reader, so go out and make it like a movie because you are the hero of your own life!
Lesson 5: The #1 Secret to Rapidly Increase Your Status As a Man
All humans want what they cannot have. Let her chase you. Be a challenge.
Why do people want diamonds? It’s just a rock. However, it is rare rock. And shiny perhaps but the fact that it is rare and aesthetically pleasing fits exactly within the parameters of stuff people want. Things that are rare are not easily obtained which increases it’s value.
When things are not easily obtained, everybody wants those things and they go up in value. Humans have egos, and egos have the need to be unique and distinct from one another.
[quote]I conceive that the great part of the miseries of mankind are brought upon them by false estimates they have made of the value of things. – Benjamin Franklin[/quote]
Women are not to be valued more than your own life and ambitions. Learning how to get a date with a beautiful woman or “how to get girls” should not be your number one focus in life. A woman will not chase you if you view her as the prize. Enough of that. It doesn’t work. You are the grand prize! Flip the script and wah-lah your status increases.
Women won’t tell you this but they actually prefer it this way.
Women want you to be interesting. Women want a challenge since it makes you stand out unlike the rest of all the other men who have the scarcity mentality, they chase, they put her on a pedestal thus they bore her to death.
Have more fun, be more challenging, playful and adventurous.
Beautiful women are used to men fawning over any sign of interest from them. If you have the ability to not just value her for her looks but to value her for inner beauty and who she is as a woman then you send a powerful message about how self-confident you are and how little you need from her.
How to Start Dating High Quality Women: The 3 Crucial Mindsets
1. You want the girl, but you don’t need her.
2. You want the girl, but you don’t need her.
3. You want the girl, but you don’t need her.
No, the above is not a typo. It’s the truth.
Look, attraction isn’t something you decide upon—it’s an uncontrollable reaction to the right qualities. Attraction is sub-conscious, not conscious. When you hit the right emotional triggers, then attraction follows. There are no if’s, and’s, or but’s…when you hit her emotional attraction triggers she will be attracted to you.
It’s a compulsion on her part, not a decision. One surefire way to kill the attraction impulse before it grows is to appear worried about whether or not she likes you (lack of confidence, scarcity mentality, pedestal thinking).
Instead of thinking “I hope she likes me…I need a girlfriend now!” you must switch to “I hope I like her…and if she’s a good fit, maybe she’ll get to have me as a boyfriend”.
Are you getting it now?
Take the lead and she will follow suit. Assume she does, and she will. When a woman senses that you are happy with her or without her, your value increases in her eyes. She doesn’t want the guy that any woman can sway— she wants the one that can’t be tamed, the wild one, the one who is on his path and purpose with or without her. She wants the mystery that not just any attractive woman can unravel, but only her.
Lesson 6: How To Overcome the Fear of Rejection and Learn How to Start Dating Attractive Women
Look, to meet and attract beautiful women you have to realize one thing: it’s a numbers game and not every girl you talk to is going like you no matter how good you get with women and dating or how big your bank account is.
In the 20-35 age demographic, the breakdown is:
- 1/3 of girls are in a relationship
- 1/3 of girls are just not interested
- 1/3 of girls are open (woohoo!)
There will be some girls that do not like you and there’s nothing you can do about it. Let me repeat that one more time: There will be some girls that do not like you and there’s nothing you can do about it.
No amount of cash in your bank, the car you drive or how much you bench will change that.
And depending on how you can handle this dilemma will determine how long you can last in this game and if you will ever learn how to date the woman you really want.
I find it interesting that when Kobe Bryant was playing in the NBA he had the most points per game in the league but also had the most missed shots too (mind blown I know!).
[quote]A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success. – Bo Bennett[/quote]
Accept this yet realize this is a good thing. Know that the more you build yourself up to become the man you want to be, the less of this you will see. Keep in mind there is no man, not even the best “pick up artist” in the world or billionaire that can sweep any woman off their feet. Nobody’s perfect. You’re on the same playing field as every man.
Pretty cool huh?
The key is that you can’t let this get to you like so many men do. It will be to your demise if you get hung up over the ones that don’t like you.
You can’t let it bring you down and prevent you from moving forward to the next girl. Always keep the abundance mindset in your thoughts both consciously and subconsciously.
There are millions of women out there, many of whom who would love to be with you! You just need to put yourself out there, take action and not take rejection so seriously.
Fall down 9 times, get up 10, let’s go I’m with you!
Lesson 7: How to Get Girls to Chase You…Stop Waiting For the Right Time and Take Action!
Women want men who are assertive and go after whatever they want in life. Stand up, lead your life, and get what you want. If you are rejected, then respectfully bow out and keep going on to the next.
The best salesmen in the world are also the best at handling rejection and moving on.
Act, fail, learn, succeed. That’s all it is!
See, a lot of guys simply reject themselves. They don’t even give a woman the chance to reject them. They do this by not going out, not following up with numbers, not trying to setup a date, not escalating, allowing themselves to be friend-zoned. Every shot you don’t take in this game is a missed shot.
Stop rejecting yourself and at least give her the option!
[quote]Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. – Abraham Lincoln[/quote]
Women want men who go after what they want. Never hide your interest in a girl. She may reject you at first. Keep going. Stay grounded. Give it time. Try again later. Persistence does pay off however, do not be needy or too clingy.
I’ve spoken with many very attractive women who are in relationships and married and most of them said at first they didn’t like their current boyfriend/husband when they first met. It took a little time for the attraction to grow. This guy got it he didn’t reject himself!
That’s refreshing to hear though huh? I felt the same way too.
It may seem annoying at first, but the end result will be either you get the girl you want or you don’t and nothing more or less. It really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.
You did not lose anything. You are exactly where you started.
Success is good because it is SUCCESS. Failure is also good because you learn from it and then it eventually becomes SUCCESS.
Nothing bad can happen to you. Remember, it’s all a learning experience and your on your journey to becoming the best version of yourself. Go after what you want in life and don’t let anything stop you. Take action. Get back up after falling down. Be decisive in life and results will follow.
It’s the law of the universe… or did I just make that up 😉
Women want men who will change the world around them and men who change the world take massive action and persist against all odds.
Lesson 8: Why A Purpose Driven Man is Deadly Attractive to Women
What women really love is a guy that has ambitions and goals in life. A man who goes for his dreams and lives purposefully is also a man with the power to allure. You must become a man who knows who he is, knows what he wants, and knows that he has the determination to get there. It could be in school, career, business, or even just a hobby.
[quote]I want to live my life in such a way that when I get out of bed in the morning the devil says, “aw shit, he’s up! – Steve Maraboli[/quote]
Do not leave things to luck, guessing or wishing. Having passion in life is absolutely vital. Maybe your mission is to build a successful business or just enjoy life to the fullest. Perhaps you simply want to enjoy spending time with your friends and family, playing sports, traveling the globe. Or you simply want to enjoy nature, art, music and more. That is all great.
Just show the women you want in your life that you have many things going on besides them and she is not the main reason for getting out of bed every morning.
If you want to learn how to get a girl to like you…
How to date the highest quality women…
How to get girls to chase you…
How to start dating on your terms and have a fulfilling romantic life…
Then memorize this sentence:
The most attractive men in the world choose to be alive and maximize every second of life.
The past is the past and the future is not something to live for. You must understand that this present moment is the best moment of your life.
When you can really embrace that your whole life changes in an instant.
Listen, you don’t need to be a millionaire, you just need to have that drive to be more, do more and want more. Go after the things you want in life and show her know that through your consistent actions towards those goals. She can come along for the adventure if she wants to, but you’ve got work to do and you’re not going to abandon your dreams for her. She is not your path and purpose in life, yet she can be apart of it.
This is so important because all too often girls will come into a man’s life and the man will divert his purpose in life to the girl. Impressing and keeping the girl becomes the man’s #1 mission (I’m guilty of doing this a number of times and it always fails!)
And if she leaves you then you’re destroyed since you’ve made her your purpose and lost touch with who you are and makes you come alive breedings bouts of depression.
This is pedestal thinking and scarcity mentality! And this ultimately pushes the woman further away into another man’s arms. She wants to chase you, so let her.
You are the prize on your path and purpose in life, always remember that.
Lesson 9: This Isn’t About Women – It’s About Becoming the Best Version of Yourself
This is the most powerful relationship advice for men there is…
Men tend to make the mistake of thinking that attractiveness solely means aesthetically pleasing with 6 pack abs. In reality, women determine if a man is attractive through the whole picture: personality, goals, drive, look, fitness, dress, grooming, hygiene, social life and status. They don’t just simply look at your face and think, “oh he is attractive I want to have babies and spend the rest of my life with him.”
No they are looking at the whole package – as they should (and you should too).
The good thing is that almost every man can present himself in an attractive way to even the most attractive of women. It really doesn’t matter how good your genes are. No matter how tall, small, fat, thin, you are, you can always improve and be more successful with women and dating.
[quote]Your level of success is proportional to your level of personal development – Hal Elrod[/quote]
The successful men with women and dating that have ever lived would never have won a beauty pageant or fitness competition; they simply did the most with what they were born with. These men were confident, they dressed well, they maximized their strengths, had a well developed personality, they were well groomed and most importantly – made bold moves that others wouldn’t.
You don’t have to be the best looking guy, but you have to take care of yourself. Practice confident body language and try to stand out with your own unique style. Shower regularly, clean your nails, shave, no weird beard, no neck hair, get a new hairstyle, maintain white teeth, straighten your teeth, get a natural tan, get inspiration from fashion magazines, go to the gym 3x per week, eat nutritious food, and clean your place.
But do not do these things for her, do these things for YOURSELF, because a man should have the ambition and drive to motivate himself and not do it with the hopes of attracting a woman.
See, you stack the odds in your favor by constantly improving your personal well being. When you make an effort to get in shape, maintain great hygiene, and keep your wardrobe and hairstyle updated, looking great is only a fraction of the benefits you will accumulate.
You’ll also quickly build your confidence and women will begin to take notice…
Lesson 10: How to Feel Entitled to the Woman You Really Want
Entitlement is knowing that you are the best possible man a woman could have. You are not trying to trick her or get lucky with her. When you speak from the core, this comes out as 100% authentic and the girl feels it. If you don’t feel entitled then you start caring too much about the girl, feeling too self-conscious, nervous, anxious and fidgety when interacting with the woman.
You’re stuck in your head thinking of the best possible thing to say or do rather than just being you.
Psychologists found that people ended up dating other people of similar attractiveness to them. “you attract who you are.” So, a guy who is a 7 will date girls that are 7’s. A guy who’s a 10 will date girls who are 10’s.
But, here’s the interesting part: a guy’s value on the 1-10 scale is made up by his own beliefs system whereas society unfortunately dictates a girl’s value mostly by her physical appearance. By looking attractive, she receives external validation from society and, from that validation, she subconsciously behaves appropriately as a 10.
So, when a guy believes he’s a 6 approaches a girl that’s an 8, he doesn’t feel entitled. He is shaky. Deep down, he doesn’t believe in himself and that she’ll be better off with someone else. He is not the best choice for her and he knows it.
If he does happen to get her interest, he’ll be super happy because he got a woman out of his league. By being with her, he’s constantly sucking value because he’s always looking for reassurance and validation that she won’t leave him in the form of jealousy, clinginess and being overly needy.
Therefore, she is out of his league after all and will leave to find a man who feels more entitled to her.
So how do you get entitlement with the women you want?
1. Change your environment so that you are consistently meeting the women you want on a regular basis. This becomes the new norm. If you live in an area where beautiful women are scarce (small suburban town) then yes this will make it hard for you to ask her out, but if it’s in abundance (Los Angeles, New York, Miami or simply the biggest city in your area) it will feel more normal.
2. Understand that women are regular people who eat, crap, have life problems, struggle financially, sleep and occasionally go through the McDonalds drive through at midnight just like you have. They are not special goddesses from heaven that can do no wrong.
3. Take more action and get more positive reference experiences with the women you want so you begin to reinforce your current belief system.
4. Improve your overall life. Build your personality, hit the gym, advance in your career or build your business, be more social and learn to just have fun.
Lesson 11: Communication is the Key To the Kingdom
The way you communicate with women will determine whether you are viewed as a potential friend or lover (this happens in less than 30 seconds).
Communication goes hand and hand with your personality. An attractive man is able to communicate and present a masculine energy. He is able to excite women and touch them on an emotional level. He does this by carrying himself with total confidence, ease and playful confidence.
[quote]The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives. – Anthony Robbins[/quote]
By learning how to communicate with a woman aka flirting, you set the underlying tone of the interaction as fun and playful. When you show a woman that she has no power over you then she begins to view you as a challenge, her best opportunity and begins to seek validation from you vs what most men do is seek validation from her.
Are you getting this?
In the beginning it’s important to simply build and release tension (push/pulls). Take an interaction two steps forward and then one step back. Play with the things she gives you (words or actions); tell her she’s like your dorky little sister/cousin, tell her she’s not making the cut then later switch it up and be playful by say “I like you” when she says something silly.
Show that you have a well-developed sense of humor, don’t take things too serious, know how to laugh at yourself, and at the rest of the world.
A couple other key points for communication are your vocal tonality and body language. Know that what you have to say is valuable, purely because it comes from you. But also remember how you say it. Slow down when you speak, enunciate, increase your volume, and deepen the tone of your voice.
Nothing is more unattractive than a man who can’t fully express himself and makes it hard to hear his voice.
Practice good body language by taking up space, standing up straight, having your shoulders back, chest out and head straight ahead (not down towards the ground). Develop strong eye contact, don’t be the first person to look away. Have slow, comfortable and relaxed movements and reduce nervous fidgeting or blinking.
Lean back in a conversation and allow other people to lean into you. Practice your ability to tell captivating stories, build rapport, and direct more attention towards yourself for the sole purpose of giving more value to the interaction.
In a relationship you want to have strong lines of open communication between the both of you. Never let anything build up or hold resentment towards each other. Speak your mind confidently and thoughtfully to your partner. Don’t let things go unspoken because they will erupt at some point.
Be able to admit if you’re wrong and apologize rather than covering it up and blaming it on her.
If you let something go unspoken then you’ll always be holding something against your partner which will hinder your ability to have a good time together.
Get it out of your head and just say it.
Lesson 12: Be the Master and Commander of Your Life
Women want to be with leaders. And leaders are a dying breed in men. Women know this, so when a woman spots a leader she instinctively knows he’s someone worth knowing.
Hey, where do you want to eat? Where should we go this weekend? What are we going to do about this!? And other women questions need answering. You need to make a decision. Sometimes she’s not sure and you are there to reassure here. You need to know what you’re doing because she needs to know everything is going to be alright.
She could be an independent and successful woman like Beyonce but she still wants Jay-Z to take care of her because it’s a hard knock life, bay-beh!
Some men avoid taking the lead because they don’t want to be criticized. They think they’re playing it safe. But in playing it safe, you’re not playing at all. You’re not being a leader.
Leaderships is being able to say, “I’ll handle it,” and take the initiative to find a solution. Everybody wants to be around the guy that can handle his own.
A man needs to make decisions and take responsibility for the outcome. If he’s reluctant to make decisions, she may resent him. She doesn’t want someone controlling her, but she also doesn’t want someone who leaves every decision to her. Balance is key.
[quote]Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women. – Groucho Marx[/quote]
A TRUE LEADER can lead without any followers. He doesn’t mind if people go in the direction that HE CHOOSES but he doesn’t NEED them to follow because he would do it anyways.
He doesn’t manipulate or control others into going where he wants to go. He simply goes WITHOUT PERMISSION, on his own accord, in the direction he desires.
A true leader goes without the approval of the pack. It takes courage and strength to push beyond group mentality because as humans we fear losing approval of others (it’s hardwired into us).
If you don’t make the decisions in a relationship, she’ll automatically begin to think that she is wearing the pants. If your woman starts wearing the pants, then the following will happen:
Loss of respect –> Loss of attraction –> Loss of intimacy –> Disconnecting herself from relationship = Cheating or Break up
Prevent the above from ever happening: MAKE THE DECISIONS. BE A MAN. LEAD.
Lesson 13: Appreciation Keeps the Good Times Rolling
Now, the key with this is to not go overboard. See showing appreciation is necessary for when she does a little extra.
[quote]“Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid” – Fyodor Dostoyevsky[/quote]
If you don’t appreciate the little things a woman does for you, then she will slowly stop doing them and may even resent you for not acknowledging her efforts. And by the time she mentions “you don’t even appreciate this”.
It is simply too late.
You don’t need to go overboard with appreciation comments, but you do need to show that you appreciate the things she does for you. A simple smile, a kiss and a “I like when you”, a handwritten note will go a long way and keep more of it coming.
Lesson 14: Be Like Yoda – Stay Calm in the Midst of Chaos
Always stay calm. You are a rock. You are her rock.
Be calm when she becomes emotional. All women are emotional to an extent. You can’t change it.
There is no point in even trying. But also, do not run away from the situation. This doesn’t work either and she’ll resent you for it. What you must do is face her head-on like a MAN. Do not react to her. She’s testing to see whether you can be pulled into her un-needed drama.
She wants to see if she can bring crazy storms into your life – don’t give in. A hallmark of a great man is composure.
So many fights can be avoided if you just don’t give into her chaos and stay grounded.
That’s what she wants – but she won’t tell you. You’re suppose to know this.
Obviously, if it’s a serious issue, than handle it with compassion and respect. Otherwise, staying calm, humor and positivity is usually the way to go 90% of the time.
Lesson 15: The Lost Art of Authenticity that Women Can’t Get Enough of
While authenticity is somewhat of a vague concept, think about it like this: An authentic man lives in the reality he creates. He sucks other people into it because he acts congruent, coherent and convincing.
The man he presents on the outside is the same guy that prevails inside him. Don’t construct your sense of reality around external factors or the reactions of other people. Never be impressed by outward symbols, status or good looks. Be impressed by the value of someone’s character.
Authenticity is simply how real and genuine you are in your dealings with other people and with yourself. There is nothing more alarming for a woman than a guy who acts fake or a man who is in-congruent with his intentions.
[quote] To be nobody but myself-in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make me somebody else-means to fight the hardest battle any human can fight, and never stop fighting. – e.e. cummings[/quote]
Authenticity is about being honest and able to stand up for your ideas in appropriate ways in appropriate contexts. You are not scared of disapproval and not changing your opinion or code of conduct so that people will like you.
Never lie; it cheapens your value and your relations with other people. When you are honest, upfront, and direct about your intentions, you are much more attractive. It is very powerful to simply state what you want and to go for it without hesitation.
Lesson 16: How to Be a Social Genius and Have More Fun
Here are 5 easy ways to become more social and have fun doing it.
1. Listen. You must be focused 100% on the social conversation and not simply thinking about what you are going to say next. Be genuine. If the person who is talking is interesting, be interested. If the content is boring, still listen.
Sometimes they talk 75% of the time and you talk 25% of the time. Sometimes you talk for a majority of the conversation. There are no scripts with this, just flow.
2. Stay Present. You cannot be social if you are thinking about the past or the future. You must be in the now. LIVE IN THE NOW. This increases your self-awareness and allows you to be present, active, and therefore, sociable in every situation. If you’re thinking about what to say next then you’re not present. Snap out of it!
[quote]the future depends on what you do today – Gandhi[/quote]
3. Humor. Making people laugh is attractive, not only to women, but to everybody. Insert jokes where you can. Heck, insert jokes often. Don’t be the comedian of the group, but show that you aren’t a robot. Everyone likes the man who doesn’t take life too seriously and can have fun in the moment. If people are laughing, then you’re doing it right. Not everything you say will be funny, but don’t let this stop you.
If you say 3 jokes and only 1 joke is funny then you’re still the funniest guy most people know.
4. Charisma. You emit an energy wherever you go. Consistently going out will give you a passion for socializing, communicating with others, and having a powerful avenue for conveying your personality onto others. By exercising your social muscle, you enable yourself to develop your charisma. Bill Clinton epitomizes charisma. Many people remember a minute with the former president forever. This is what you are striving for.
5. Strong Eye Contact. Eye contact is an indicator of a strong alpha male who emanates strength, desire, and attraction. So much of social interaction is just about having strong eye contact and holding your frame. Practice and learn to control your eye contact in all interactions, especially with women and dating.
Quick suggestions for improving communication and social skills:
- Toastmasters International
- Improv classes
- Stand up comedy classes
- Speed dating
- Talk to 3 strangers per day for 1 minute each
Lesson 17: Stop Taking Value and Start Giving Value
Think about the people you interact with in life. Have you ever met somebody who just made you smile, feel better about yourself, make you inspired or elicited positive emotions? That’s value. Such people add value to your life by making you feel positive emotions. It’s not about money, gifts or physical items but how you make others feel.
Giving value can be as simple as a smile. It can be contributing to a conversation by having a unique or interesting opinion. Or it can be as easy as making a girl feel attractive and intelligent.
It is vital that you are a relaxed, non-needy guy if you want to add value. Once you are relaxed and non-needy, everything you say will be value giving. Giving value is when you’ve done something to make another person feel good because you wanted to.
[quote]Happiness doesn’t result from what we get, but from what we give. – Ben Carson[/quote]
Go first. Approach. Be a giver. Give her good emotions, then you can easily ask for emotions from her. So much of social interactions, flirting and intimacy are about the exchanges of emotions from one person to the other. A dance of emotions if you will.
Anytime you are communicating with someone in person, phone or text, ask yourself: Am I taking value from this person or giving value?”
By adopting this mindset you’ll notice your overall social life and relationships flourish.
Lesson 18: Believe in You 100%
There is no reason why you are not enough for any woman. Girls want guys that don’t need them, but simply want them, by showing that:
- You are present, living in the moment
- You accept everything about yourself
- You are exactly where you want to be and only improving
You show these women that they can be a part of your life, but you don’t need them to be in your life to be happy. Trust in yourself. Do not doubt yourself. Accept that you may get social anxiety when you go out sometimes. Accept that you will get rejected from time to time, probably often… but it’s a part of the process.
[quote]Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.― Henry Ford[/quote]
This acceptance will actually make you more congruent, which is a sign of a strong reality, self-certainty, and– you guessed it– self-esteem. If you want a high quality beautiful woman then you must believe that you can attract a high quality, beautiful woman.
You must feel that all women are in your league and no woman is out of reach. If you look at certain women and immediately think, “no” not for me or “she wouldn’t go for a guy like me”, then you are right. It is a self fulfilling prophecy. If you think you can, then you will. If you think you can’t, then you’re absolutely right as well.
You decide how attractive you are.
Lesson 19: How You See Yourself is How Women See You
Self Esteem is simply about feeling good about yourself.
It is the consciousness to trust yourself, to put yourself first in a non-selfish, but self respecting manner. You do this when you feel competent to handle the challenges of life and prove yourself worthy of everything that is good. You become comfortable in your skin; believe that being you is the greatest thing on earth. You take up space in the world. You stop caring what other people think about you.
[quote]The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself – Mark Twain[/quote]
Women are looking for a man that is an independent, self-sufficient entity. Women are looking for a man that does not put her in the highest position of his life. Show respect, but never be blinded or intimidated by the beauty of a woman. Don’t try to impress women or put them on a pedestal. They must demonstrate quality and work for your attention.
You are the prize women are trying to win over.
Your success with women, dating and anything else in life greatly depends on your standards and expectations. If you feel that you deserve beautiful, intelligent women, then you will get that when you earn it. Everything in life is a self fulfilling prophecy. Feel worthy and go for what you want. Leave no room for insecurity and stop caring about failure.
When you have self esteem, you practice being really good at being you. Nothing else matters. No one in the world will be as good as you simply being you.
So be you 100% of the time because that’s all that matters. It is the best gift you can offer to women – you.
Lesson 20: A Woman Should Not Be the Only Reason You are Happy in Life
You need to build up your own life and create that epic lifestyle that you want.
Whatever epic means to you, live that life. Women are a part of that life, but not the whole part.
You need to be a whole and complete person on your own with or without a woman.
Enjoy being single. Needing a woman in your life screams desperation and neediness.
[quote]Happiness depends upon ourselves. – Aristotle[/quote]
You don’t want to find happiness in a woman because you are placing too much importance on one person in your life. Love her, treat her right and make her feel special, but absolutely do not place your entire life and happiness on one person’s shoulders (she doesn’t want that).
Have other things going on in your life. Have a strong social network. Mingle with good friends, develop meaningful relationships, work on your career, and invest time in hobbies that you love.
The best time to get a girlfriend is when you don’t need one or want one.
Don’t get me wrong, an awesome girl is something that can magnify an already great life, but it cannot make your life go from average to great. That’s your job.
As a man, you must lead your relationships, but also lead your life. Know where you are going and start taking actions toward your goals. It’s fine to care for a women, but also focus on creating a well balanced life. Think about your career, your health, your hobbies, your friends and family. You are great just the way you are, and that is why she wants you.
LEAD. People will follow you. She WILL FOLLOW.
Make the decisions, stay calm in times of chaos, and have control over your emotions. Be clean, well-organized, and fit, both physically and mentally.
You see a girl across the room who you like, and now you’re not afraid. You know that you can get her. You know that she wants you because of who you are.
The more bold moves you make the more success you will have with women.
Go get the women you want. Develop your life every day so it just keeps getting better and better. You wake up everyday and it feels like Christmas morning when you were a child.
This is your life. Your only shot, so squeeze all the life out of it.