08: Richard La Ruina: How to Effortlessly Attract the Women You Want

Richard La Ruina is a London-based internationally renowned pickup artist and coach. In 2007 he founded PUA Training, which now consists of five websites, popular weekend seminars, and boot camps around the world.

He has trained over 3000 men and is the author of the best selling book The Natural. La Ruina has been featured on BBC and ITV, as well as in Men’s Health, Maxim, AskMen, the Independent, the Evening StandardCosmopolitan, and many more publications. La Ruina is a sought-after guest speaker at seduction conferences worldwide.

Favorite Success Quote

“The Superior man is modest in speech but exceeds in his actions.” – Confucius

Key Points

1. “Pickup” Makes You Better in Every Area of Life 

So often men dive into the “Pickup” game because they want to get laid.

But what most men don’t realize is that pickup is about becoming a stronger, more grounded man in every area of life.

The skills that you will learn by practicing pickup actually translate into every area of life.

Learning to read body language and vocal tonality will help you during business negotiations, understanding how to carry on a conversation will help you grow your social circle, and learning to overcome and handle rejection will help you become unstoppable in whatever endeavor you choose to pursue.

So forget all of the negative stigmas attached to pickup and “game” and realize that at the end of the day, all of these practices are about holistically developing yourself into the strongest man that you can be.

2. Dive Into Life and Try Everything 

It’s so easy to get comfortable.

To do the same things day in and day out.

To stay stuck in a rut because it is easy and requires no mental effort.

But if you want to really live life to the fullest, you need to dive in and explore the world that we live in.

Get out of your bubble and go try new things.

Take dance lessons, learn to cook, pickup that old guitar you left lying around, take a course in NLP, start a garden.

Follow your curiosity and do what intrigues you.

Start saying “yes” more and becoming a well rounded man who is comfortable (to some degree) in every situation.

Life is for living.

So stop wasting yours and start making the most out of it.

3.  Being Uncomfortable is Part of the Process

If you are not uncomfortable, you are not growing.

If you are not a little bit scared, uncertain, or stressed out, then you are not on the path to success.

You need to realize that success in any endeavor is prefaced by discomfort and struggle.

It’s part of the process.

If you want to get better with women, it’s going to be uncomfortable to overcome your social anxiety and talk to that blonde beauty at the bar.

If you want to improve your health, it’s going to be uncomfortable lifting weights for the first few times, it’s going to be hard.

If you want to build a business, it’s going to be uncomfortable whenever things fail, when you miss your goals, or have to deal with angry clients.

This is just part of the game.

And the sooner that you can overcome your aversion to discomfort, the sooner you will start succeeding in every area of life.

4. Don’t Focus on the Destination Focus on the Journey

The joy of every accomplishment lies in the journey, not the destination.

Sure it is fun to become a millionaire.

But without the 80 hour work weeks, the crazy highs and lows, and the joy of surmounting seemingly impossible obstacles, there is little satisfaction in a 7-figure bank balance.

It’s great to sleep with beautiful women, but the rejection, the game of cat and mouse, and the thrill of the chase is what makes the reward so sweet.

The journey is what makes life worth living.

So stop trying to rush it and start enjoying it!

5. Always Seek to Understand Who a Woman Is 

If you want to seduce a woman, then you must go deep.

And no, I don’t mean that in a sexual way.

What I mean is that you must look beyond the superficial and the obvious and go deeper into who a woman really is.

What does she like, what does she dislike, what lights her up, where do her passions lay?

When you can begin to answer these questions and find the beauty hidden inside each woman, they will open up to you in a way that you have never seen before.

When you understand who a woman is, attraction becomes inevitable and it is no longer a game where you are trying to get something

Influential Book

The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas

Connect with Richard La Ruina



Next Steps

We’re on a mission to impact a million men with powerful life changing content. If you enjoyed this article, please share it with your friends on your preferred social network on the left. I spent a ridiculous amount of time creating this article for you and with your support, we can impact the world together.

Want to become the strongest version of yourself?

Then click here to get a free trial to my elite community of 800+ high-performing men, The Secrets of the Top 1% of Men. Not only will you get tapped into your own “band of brothers”, but you’ll also have access to some of my best content and training as well as bi-weekly group calls with my team of coaches.

If you’re ready to push the boundaries of what’s possible in your life and become the man you’ve always wanted to be. This is the fastest way to do it.

The Times Have Changed. This is the Way Forward in 2024.

Here’s how I can help in my new FREE training on becoming a stronger Grounded Man:

1. The new path for men that creates a purpose driven life and doesn’t require you to lose your personal power, put women on a pedestal or sacrifice your goals.

2. Why men consistently settle and ignore the most important areas of life like the quality of their intimate relationships, social life and happiness and how to optimize all three without sacrificing professional growth.

3. The biggest mistake 97% of men make that breeds loneliness, breakups and emasculation that is absolutely reversible with this counter intuitive strategy.