[Interview] Dan Bacon: How to Attract the Women You Desire and Become a Modern Man

Dan Bacon is a dating and relationship expert and the founder of The Modern Man, a company that has helped 1,000s of men achieve success with women.

But he didn’t start out as a socially savvy lady’s man…far from it.

In fact, in his early years, Dan struggled with women. His first girlfriend cheated on him shortly after they started dating and this devastating breakup sent him into a downward spiral of depression and anxiety.

Determined to climb his way out and discover what women really want (and how to give it to them), Dan went on a quest to become the “Modern Man” and unlock the secrets of authentic attraction and seduction. Secrets that he now shares with other men.

In his book, The Flow Dan Bacon destroys the popular myth that nice guys finish last. He goes against the grain of modern pick up culture and teaches men how to authentically attract their ideal women even if they aren’t tall, handsome, ripped, or rich.

Instead of trying to turn nice guys into something they’re not, he shows them how to become loved and wanted by women for being the good guy that they already are.

Dan’s teachings give men the power choice and control in their dating life, so that they can either have sex and relationships with many women or settle down with their perfect woman for life.

And in our interview, Dan reveals actionable strategies and insights that any man can immediately apply to his life to have more success with women and create the life they want.

Dan Bacon’s Favorite Success Quote

“You’re awesome and you know it.” – Dan Bacon

Important Lessons from My Interview with Dan Bacon

1. Success with Women Requires Real Confidence (Not Fake-Alpha B.S.) 

To have true and lasting success with women requires real inner confidence.

Not just a false sense of “game”.

Women want a man who has true confidence in himself, who is unaffected by their emotional storms, and who can take them by the hand and lead them to a whole new life.

But developing this confidence requires deep internal work, not just a bunch of rehearsed lines and gimmicks.

Too many men believe the lie that confidence is something that can be bought or manufactured. That there are “hacks” to increase your confidence overnight.

But the simple truth is that confidence is earned. 

It can’t be bought and there are no shortcuts to building it.

To develop the true rock-solid confidence that women crave, you must work your way from the inside out.

It starts by improving your mindset, changing your habits, and developing a new self-image that serves you and your goals.

Most importantly, confidence requires you to step out of your comfort zone. To try new things, embrace the unknown, and do things that most men wouldn’t dare do.

Confidence is earned by overcoming obstacles, facing adversity, and proving to yourself that you have what it takes no matter what life throws at you. And developing your confidence is the fastest way to become more successful with women and in life.

So start today.

Identify the #1 thing that is draining your confidence and resolve to fix it.

If you feel insecure and unconfident about your finances, start a side hustle, get out of debt, and learn how to earn more money.

If your body is warping your self-image and stealing your confidence, get your ass in the gym, cut back on the late-night munchies, and build the body of your dreams.

If your relationships with women are, in fact, the source of your unconfidence, then go grab a copy of my book and take massive action on its contents.

By strategically eliminating the sources of your unconfidence, you can create unprecedented happiness and success in every area of your life. Especially in your relationships.

2. Mind Over Matter Or “How to Think Your Way to Happiness and Confidence” 

The quickest way to change how you feel is to change how you think.

The thoughts we allow to enter our head are what will determine our feelings, actions, and ultimately our results.

If you go into a business situation thinking “Damn I hope I can do this, I am really not the right person for the job” then it will show.

Your body language will be off, your tonality will falter, and your mind will quickly sabotage your success.

But if you go in thinking “You know what? I might not have the experience that they are looking for, but I am an effing beast! I will work as hard as I need to to make this work and they would be lucky to have me” this attitude will permeate every move you make and every word you say.

A growing body of evidence is beginning to prove what the New Age quacks and self-help gurus have been claiming for decades. Your thoughts directly control the results that you achieve in life.

And the fastest way to improve the quality of your life is to improve the quality of your thinking.

But how do you do this on a tactical level?

The short answer is, “Lots of practice.”

To improve your thinking, you must develop an awareness of your thoughts.

Learn to “tune in” to the voices in your head and hear what they are saying. Is it positive or negative? Are the stories you tell yourself serving you or disempowering you?

By gaining an awareness of your thoughts you can start to control them. You can challenge your assumptions and stories until your inner monologue is consistent with the outer results you want to achieve.

3. Confidence with Women Builds Confidence in the Rest of Your Life 

One of the quickest ways to achieve your goals in the rest of your life is to achieve success with women.

It’s almost like success with women is your gateway drug to success.

As soon as you prove to yourself that you can overcome your anxiety and your bad patterns with women and become a sought after and high value man, your whole perspective on life will change.

The social skills you developed to improve your game will shine in your professional situations and you will get promoted at a much faster pace.

The confidence that you have with women will translate into confidence in the gym and at the workplace.

The thick skin that you develop from getting rejected by countless women will help you when you start your own business and make it easy for you to handle rejection from leads and clients.

If you can master your romantic life, and apply those skills to the rest of your life, everything will start to fall into place.

There’s something powerful and immutable about being a man who is good with women. It creates core confidence that is impossible to replicate or defeat.

It creates a sense of abundance in your life and teaches you that, no matter how hard you fall or how often you fail, you can always pick yourself up and move on to the next opportunity.

4. Women are Going to Test You 

I’m going to be blunt here.

Women are going to test you.

It’s simply a part of the game of seduction and dating. Whenever you approach or go on a date with a woman, you (and she) are effectively in a job interview to determine whether or not you are suitable partners for one another.

And this isn’t a bad thing.

If a woman tests you it is because she wants to see you demonstrate the value and confidence that she perceives you to have.

She wants to see if you really have what it takes to handle a stressful situation with tact and grace. She wants to know that you are as strong as you pretend to be. She wants to know that your confidence is real, not faked.

And if you know how to respond to her tests, you will be even more attractive and stand a greater chance of having a real connection.

But something that most men miss is that you should be testing her as much as she tests you.

The fact that she has a vagina and is easy to look at doesn’t make her a suitable partner for you. You need to test her to determine what she values, how she treats others, and how she responds to temptation (e.g. leaving $40 at her apartment or on the table and seeing if she returns it or pockets it).

Learn to filter out and test women the same way that they test you and you will save yourself from a gut-wrenching break up later on.

5. Be Real and Authentic 

At the end of the day, the best thing that you can do to achieve success with women is to just be yourself.

Be real, be authentic, be yourself and don’t apologize for it.

But don’t just be yourself…be your best self.

Own your interests, desires, quirks, and eccentricities. Make no apologies for your beliefs or passions. Don’t bullshit other people to try and be accepted.

If you change to try and please a woman, she will sense the in-congruence.

And when you change to please other people, you degrade your own power and lower your value in the eyes of the world and yourself.

And if someone is attracted to you because of a mask that you were wearing, they will never be a good fit for you and your life and you will quickly find yourself loathing that person and wishing that you had been honest from the start.

“Be yourself… everyone else is already taken” ~Oscar Wilde

Influential Books

The One Minute Manager by Ken Blanchard

Connect with Dan Bacon



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