As relationships progress, many women don’t just lose attraction for the men that they’re dating. They lose respect for them.
As time passes, they start to see the man they once loved as weak, submissive, passive, and even ugly. It destroys the romance in their lives. They become angry, discontent, and resentful of the man that they were once deeply in love with.
This leads to infidelity, breakups, and conflict between partners.
The saddest part of this isn’t the crying, the fighting, or even the “silent treatments” that follow the declining respect.
The saddest part is that you can prevent your woman from losing respect for you.
You can have a great, nurturing relationship with a woman who respects you and keep this relationship going for a long time.
The key is to avoid those “weak” behaviors that will destroy her view of you.
If you’re doing these things, you must stop now. If your girlfriend already doesn’t respect you, it’s only a matter of time before she’s out the door and in bed with someone else.
Trust me; I’ve been there.
There’s no time to waste. Let’s dive in.
1. Being Immature
Emotionally immature people are difficult to respect and cannot build lasting, long-term relationships.
When a woman commits to a long-term relationship with you as a man, she likely believes she’s taking a risk. You might not see it that way (viewing yourself as a risk isn’t the healthiest mindset), but women often view it this way.
This is for many reasons, but a big one is that the female biological clock ticks differently than the male one. It ticks faster.
Because of this, a woman’s time in a relationship is more valuable than a man’s. It’s more costly for her to waste her time than it is for us as men to waste time.
This is why immaturity is a massive killer of respect in relationships. When you’re immature, a woman views this as you not respecting her time, and because of this, she won’t respect you. The disrespect will be mutual, and you won’t even know you’ve made a blunder.
Women mature faster because they have to if they want to have children. If you want to have children (or at least build a life) with a woman you’re seeing, you must show her that you’re mature enough to be a lasting part of her life.
Many men never manage to do this, so they enter relationships with women who don’t respect them.
2. Lacking Ambition
If your drive to be the best version of yourself dies because you’ve got a girlfriend or a partner, you never had that drive to be the best in the first place.
If your ambition is tied to the amount of romance in your life, you never had any ambition in the first place. You were just a slave to your short-term desires.
Ambition is the antithesis of this. Ambition is all about the long game.
Ambition is the desire to get out of bed on a cold rainy day. Ambition is the voice that doesn’t let you quit, even if everything in your brain and body tells you to.
Ambition is a little crazy, and the truth is that ambition can be a terrible thing for your relationships.
You must learn how to channel your ambition into something positive and then go home at the end of the day and still be loving. You must learn to balance.
This is how you be a man who your partner maintains respect for. When this ambition starts to fade (or if it never existed in the first place), your partner will slowly but surely lose respect for you. They’ll see your fading ambition as disrespect for yourself.
The thing is, it’s easier to give up on your dreams and be content right now.
But is that the kind of man you want to become? Is that the man you think your partner wants you to become?
If someone is attracted to your ambition, you can bet that when the ambition fades, so will their attraction to you.
Find ways to stay driven.
3. They Don’t Have Self-Respect
It’s impossible to respect someone who doesn’t respect themselves.
They say, “it’s impossible to love someone who doesn’t love themselves”, but before we can even talk about self-love, we first have to master self-respect. How can you even fathom “loving yourself” if you don’t respect yourself?
How can anyone love you if you don’t practice self-love? This equation does not compute.
Being a “doormat,” acting for attention, or excessively indulging in unhealthy habits are all signs that you lack self-respect, and the more you tip-toe toward this dangerous territory, the more likely your partner will lose respect for you.
If you lose respect for yourself, your partner will see this, and they won’t just be turned off.
They’ll be repulsed.
Self-respect is challenging to earn and easy to lose, but the cost of losing it can be someone that might be the whole world to you.
Cultivate self-respect, and never let it go. Do what you must do to honestly look in the mirror and respect the person you are.
4. Being Rude to People They Care About
Fighting with your mom is extremely unattractive.
If you’re a man who can’t manage his relationships with the people in his life who are most important to you (like your mom or your best friends), this is seen as a massive sign of social immaturity.
This is a sign that your house is out of order and that your personal life is chaotic, making you more unattractive to the woman you see.
If you can’t manage the daily conflicts, your stock goes down as a man worth being involved with.
From here, it’s a short cry to being a man she doesn’t respect and can’t bear to imagine her future with.
5. They Lie Constantly/Compulsively
Saying, “I’ll be there in 5 minutes,” when you’re 10 minutes out, isn’t what I’m talking about when I talk about liars.
However, telling someone you forgot their birthday when you remembered it and can’t afford to buy them a gift? That’s more concerning. Telling someone you love them when you want sex? That’s very concerning and likely a sign of a character flaw.
If your partner catches you in a lie, they will struggle to trust you. If you can’t be trusted, it will be very hard to build a relationship with you. You cannot allow your relationships to be built on deception.
Each lie you tell is another layer in a brick wall built between you and the woman (and the life) you care about. Lies put distance between you and your authentic dreams and your authentic self.
You must avoid this at all costs.
I don’t care if lying is convenient, if telling the truth is hard, or if you don’t want to risk your reputation by seeming less strong or competent than you truly are.
“Tell the truth, or at least don’t lie.” – Jordan Peterson
Lies are the precursor to a chaotic and anxious existence. Your partner will grow to despise you for this.
6. They’re Deeply Insecure
Insecure men are the bane of humanity.
Powerful men with bad relationships with their egos are responsible for more anguish throughout human history than any other group. Weak men make life harder for everyone else around them.
However, the first person who bears the brunt of this deep insecurity by these weak men is their partner.
See, the greater your insecurity, the more unreliable you become. When you become unreliable, you become tough to love. When you become difficult to love, you’re only a short cry away from being difficult to respect.
Insecurity is perhaps the most significant precursor to disrespect in a relationship.
So what do you do to counteract this insecurity?
You work on yourself. You pursue your passions. You live for yourself, not others. You become a good, honest, grounded man.
You become a person who’s comfortable being alone with your thoughts.
You become a secure, stable man.
A secure, stable man is challenging to disrespect, and when he is disrespected, he realizes that it’s not he who can change the behavior of others. This is how you build strong relationships.
7. They Lack Bravery
You’re sleeping with your girlfriend one night, and you both wake up to the sound of what might be someone entering your apartment or house.
Did the dog knock something over? Or is it a crazy axe murderer coming to kill you?
It doesn’t matter – either way, the safety of your home has been threatened. Your home is now a danger zone, and you have to act.
What do you do?
Do you cower in fear? Do you grab a baseball bad and see what’s up?
I’m not asking what you think you’d do but what you’d do.
If you want to maintain respect in your relationship, here’s what you don’t do:
You don’t use your girlfriend as a human shield while you cower behind her. Instead, you stand your ground, have her call the police, and get your butt out of bed to check out the issue.
Odds are, it’s not a murderer, but you have to be willing and ready to protect your partner at all costs. That protective instinct is desirable.
It doesn’t matter if you’re afraid – if you allow your fear to dictate your behavior, you are a coward.
Cowards tend to have a tough time getting respect in relationships.
8. Avoiding Confrontation
If you have a problem with someone, you must say something.
I’m not saying you need to walk around and be a bully, but you do need to establish a core set of values, and when those values are violated, you need to stand your ground – even if it means confrontation with someone (even someone you don’t know).
When you don’t do this and become passive in your life, your partner will notice, and they will lose respect for you. You better be ready to do or say something if there’s a confrontation.
You must arm yourself for physical and intellectual conflict if you’re not.
Again, I’m not saying you need to become someone who actively seeks confrontation (confronting people all the time makes you seem immature), but you do need to be ready if a situation arises.
Avoiding confrontation at all costs makes you seem weak, and weakness will destroy the respect in your relationship.
If there’s conflict in your relationship or your life, you must become the kind of man ready to deal with it.
There’s nothing worse than finding yourself in a relationship where your partner doesn’t respect you.
If you’re lucky, this lack of respect will “just” make your life a living hell, and you’ll be stuck with a partner who doesn’t want you around.
What do you do then?
Before you can fight the demon that is your chaotic relationship, you first need to fight your personal demons. You need to change yourself before you can change your relationship.
The problem is that this is hard work. The problems listed in this article are often deeply hidden in your psyche, and you might not know how to solve them. You might feel trapped and stuck in the mind of a person you don’t like and a relationship that has zero mutual respect.
Luckily, there’s a way out. You just need some help.
That’s why I want to tell you about my exclusive coaching program, led by me and my team of experienced men’s coaches.
See, this program isn’t only going to help you break free from nice guy behaviors, build quality romantic relationships, and become a stronger Grounded Man. It’s also going to provide you with support from both myself and my elite community of men. Our coaches provide informed professional advice on how to play hard to get, among other important relationship principles.
We’re going to help you learn how to get to know people without being desperate, clingy, or weak.
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With this program, you’ll be tapped into your own “band of brothers” and you’ll also have access to the best training course for men in existence today, as well as weekly calls with my team of inspiring and determined coaches. There are no boys, no complainers, or dabblers, this program is for serious men only.