In modern society, few words are as controversial as “masculinity.” Today, men across the world are struggling to find their masculine identity amid a society that tells them to suppress their masculine instincts.
Navigating the complexities of being a man in today’s fast-paced and constantly changing society can be challenging. These challenges can be even more nuanced for men who find themselves in leadership roles or strive to inhabit one.
How can one be a masculine leader when just being a man is so challenging? Today, I will answer that question as I guide you down the path to embracing your full masculine potential.
First, you must understand that being a man and having masculine tenancies is not bad. The problem arises when men lose control of their emotions and allow them to overcome logic and reason.
But if you can maintain control even when those around you can’t, you will establish yourself as an authority figure who people can turn to in a crisis.
Of course, there is a fine line that leaders need to walk, and the difference between dominance and respect lies in the ability to wield power with empathy and fairness. It’s one thing to command people’s attention but another to earn their genuine respect and admiration.
In essence, masculine leadership is about balance. It’s about having power and knowing when and how to use it. It’s about being strong and compassionate. It’s about leaning into your masculine qualities to make the tough decisions that no one else can.
If you’re ready to embrace this approach, you can redefine your masculinity and achieve anything you put your mind to. Are you ready to unlock that potential?
1. Develop A Thick Skin
Have you ever noticed how masculine men are depicted in the movies? In films and TV shows, tough guys act tough. They strut around, intimidating other men and displaying their masculine dominance everywhere they go.
Oddly enough, if you ever read the experiences of journalists or documentary makers who spend time with these types of men in real life, they’ll often remark that they don’t act tough at all. In fact, they’re some of the most polite and mellow guys out there.
See, when a man is comfortable and confident in his own skin, he doesn’t need to show off. It doesn’t matter if others question his authority or stature because he understands himself as a man. He doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone other than himself.
Now, I am by no means advocating that you need to become an MMA fighter or a gangster or anything like that; far from it. I simply want to draw your attention to the fact that genuinely confident men carry themselves differently.
This is true in the office, sports, and other walks of life. Jordan had unshakable confidence that he would succeed at the most clutch moments. He had his naysayers just like everyone else, but it didn’t matter. He had thick skin.
So, the first thing you must do to embrace your masculine energy is do the same. Stay true to yourself as a man and develop the unshakeable confidence that allows you to succeed in all walks of life.
2. Learn To Control Your Emotions And Voice Your Opinions
Many men remain silent because they struggle to contain their emotions. This leads to them leading passive lifestyles where they go with the flow and allow others to dictate their actions.
This often happens with their friends, family, or significant other.
It’s not that they don’t want to stand up for themselves and voice their opinions; it’s that they’ve convinced themselves they can’t.
This problem arises because men develop a misguided view of what strength really is. They want to become the “strong, silent type” who always remains stoic. That’s all well and fine, but there’s a difference between being stoic and being a pushover.
Real strength is determined by a man’s ability to control his emotions. It’s not about simply swallowing your feelings but learning how to manage them effectively.
Because here’s something so many men don’t understand: these emotions you struggle with? ALL men struggle with them. The difference is certain men know how to control it better than others.
I’m not talking about extreme anger issues or anything like that. I’m talking about the simple day-to-day things that push your buttons, but you swallow for the sake of passivity.
When your boss comes at you with an unreasonable request or when your girlfriend makes plans for you without asking you first — simple things like that.
Real men know how to manage their emotions effectively, speak up for themselves, and express their needs. If you can’t do this, it’s a skill you need to learn to master.
3. Work Through Your Past Traumas
Nine times out of ten, a man’s faults and problems can be traced back to traumas he experienced throughout his life. When a man represses these traumas instead of processing them, it can cause long-lasting problems that persist later in life.
Any man looking to fill a leadership role must process these feelings in a way conducive to his personal growth. You can’t expect to lead others effectively if you have first dealt with your own internal battles.
Working through your issues isn’t just about healing but about unlocking a level of emotional intelligence and grit that allows you to embrace the role of a leader.
It could be childhood neglect, failed romantic relationships, or something else entirely. Only you know what’s troubling you, but until you acknowledge those things, you will stunt your personal growth.
Of course, I know it’s difficult to dig up these things, even if you’re consciously trying to do so. If you’re struggling to process your issues, remember there is no shame in asking for help.
A therapist or professional support group, like the team at Knowledge for Men, can teach you how to effectively process your emotions and use them to grow into a stronger, more grounded man.
4. Pursue Excellence In All Things You Do — Seek Constant Growth
Leaders never stop. They never stop pursuing their goals. When they achieve one goal, they seek out another. If you want to encapsulate masculine leadership in your life, you must do the same.
For men like this, it’s not about arbitrary accomplishments or adhering to societal expectations. For these men, the finish line is set by their own standards.
Steve Jobs was known for pushing his team to achieve things that seemed impossible — to create devices and meet deadlines that just couldn’t be done. But he refused to give in when people pushed back and told him so.
He wanted what he wanted, and that was it. End of discussion. He was steadfast in his vision.
And, as we all know, Steve’s “impossible” demands were quite possible. It didn’t matter that people didn’t believe him or gave him pushback. He understood what he was talking about; it didn’t matter if the entire world told him otherwise.
Today, Steve Jobs is remembered as a legend of the tech industry, and the rest is history. If you want to be a leader among your peers, you have to capture this same spark.
Put simply, if you can imagine it, you can achieve it. The secret is holding to your vision when no one else believes in you. Seek constant growth, and NEVER settle.
5. Chase Failure
David Goggins is an ex-Navy SEAL, ultramarathon runner, and motivational speaker. Aside from that awe-inspiring list of accolades, he is also known as the toughest man on the planet.
If you ever read David’s book or watch him in interviews, you will see that he often says he loves failure. To him, failure isn’t bad; it’s just progress.
For those of you who don’t know, David Goggins formerly held the record for most pull-ups in a 24-hour period. 4,030 pull-ups. But he didn’t achieve this on his first attempt. It took him three tries and several setbacks to finally achieve the record.
Men like this CHASE failure. They chase failure because they use it as motivation to try harder next time.
Most people DO NOT do this. Most people fail and walk away with their tails between their legs.
You might be guilty of this yourself. Have you ever applied for a job, got rejected, and never applied at that company again? Why not? Do you think that’s normal behavior? Unfortunately, for most people, it is, but it’s not the behavior of a winner or a leader.
Men who lead refuse to give up; that’s how they become leaders in the first place. You need to realize that failure isn’t bad; giving up is.
If you tried and failed at something, you’re already ahead of those who never tried in the first place.
Most people never try. You don’t hear about their failures because they never took the initiative in the first place. Don’t be that person. Get out there, fall on your face if you must, but get back up — chase failure. You’ll become stronger because of it.
6. Let Other People In
Many men suffer through life, thinking that they have to do it all on their own. While every leader should possess self-reliance, that doesn’t mean you should shut out those around you.
Ask for help when you need it. And never delude yourself into thinking you’re better than anyone else.
For example, if you’re on the top rung of the corporate ladder, ask for feedback from those below you. It will make them feel heard and valued and give you a new perspective you were probably blind to.
The last thing a leader should do is build a wall around himself. Your leadership skills will grow stronger when you open up and let other people in.
You should always strive to create an environment where people are willing to voice their opinions. And don’t be afraid if people try to challenge you; this is only a problem if you allow it to be.
Remember that you do not know everything; everyone you meet can teach you something new. Don’t be too quick to judge people or never think of yourself as better than them just because you’re in a leadership role. Let others in.
7. Understand Your Role
So many men fail to understand what being a leader even means. They think leadership means bossing people around and telling them what to do, but this isn’t true at all.
A good leader’s job is to make everyone else’s lives easier. Leaders don’t allow others to do the work for them or shirk their responsibilities onto others. They lead by example and set the standards for work ethic and commitment.
Of course, this doesn’t mean a leader should do everything himself, but he should understand the work well enough to guide and support those doing it.
You don’t need to be an expert because being an expert on everything would be impossible. When you don’t know something, own up to it and admit you don’t know. There’s no shame in that.
When a leader grows and improves, everyone else should, too.
If you can only boost yourself up by putting other people down, you have a serious problem.
Leaders don’t boost themselves up by standing on other people’s shoulders. You shouldn’t be a dictator or a monarch. Strive to be similar to those around you, but take responsibility for the situation’s outcome — whatever that outcome may be.
8. Be The Decision Maker
One of the most important traits a leader must possess is the ability to make decisions. It takes courage to make a decision in the face of uncertainty and requires a high degree of poise and composure.
Beyond that, you need to be analytical and weigh all potential outcomes. Everyone can respect a leader who owns his mistakes, but if you keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again, you won’t be a leader for long.
Generally, the key to becoming a good decision-maker is not overthinking things. You’ll find yourself playing ping pong in your head if you ruminate too much over one topic.
Think about any situation’s pros and cons and do what you think is right. Don’t make a hasty decision, but don’t take all day to decide. It’s a delicate balance that usually takes time and experience to find.
9. Learn How To Be The Mediator
No matter how well a team works together, conflict will inevitably occur. Navigating these conflicts as a leader is often one of the most difficult challenges men face.
A good leader needs to listen to all sides, understand the underlying issues, and find a way to resolve the problem in the best interest of all those involved.
This is why it’s so important to be approachable. If no one is willing to communicate with you, you’ll be left in the dark about the issues at hand.
Make a biased decision, and people will lose respect for you.
Make an uninformed decision, and people will lose respect for you.
Make a balanced decision that keeps both parties happy, and you’ll cement yourself in the role.
To achieve this, foster open communication from the outset. If people peg you as standoffish, it will be difficult to shake.
Be bold and approach people to ask them about their concerns. You’d be surprised how showing a little empathy can prevent conflicts down the road.
10. Learn From Other Leaders
The term “natural born leader” gets thrown around often, but that’s rarely (if ever) true. Humans are social creatures, and our upbringing largely determines how we interact with others.
If you didn’t foster the social skills necessary for advancement early in life, you may struggle to find your own in a leadership role.
The good news is that, like anything else in life, these are skills you can learn to master with proper guidance. Make it a point to observe other leaders in your life.
The critical thing to remember is that not everyone in a leadership role is a good leader. Your boss may be your boss, but that doesn’t necessarily make them good leaders. In fact, most bosses are terrible leaders.
You can tell pretty quickly when you meet someone who commands respect and is genuinely admired by those around them. People gravitate toward them wherever they go. As soon as they walk into a room, they are greeted with smiles and warmth.
Pay attention to these men. Watch how they carry themselves and how they act. Listen to what they say and how they say it — pay attention to their body language.
And lastly, compare their actions to your own. What are they doing differently from you? What can you do to embody the same energy these men have?
I’m not saying you should copy them or emulate their actions; always be your own person. Simply look at the core principles these men embody and see how they can apply that to your own life.
What can you do to make people smile and feel respected? Are you funny, charming, and quick with a compliment? Do you have a calm demeanor that resonates with people? Whatever makes you unique, use that to amplify your masculine leadership qualities.
Step Into Your Power: Transform Your Life with Knowledge For Men
Feeling lost or directionless can be a daunting challenge, but it’s also a call to action—a signal that it’s time to rise and seize control of your destiny. At Knowledge for Men, we’re not just a coaching program; we’re a catalyst for unleashing your inner leader, the alpha within that commands respect and radiates confidence in every aspect of life.
Whether you’re aiming to ascend in your career, revolutionize your dating life, or simply become the best version of yourself, our team of seasoned coaches is here to guide you. These men, who once stood where you stand now, have journeyed through the trials of masculinity, leadership, and personal evolution. Their hard-won wisdom is your gateway to transformation.
By joining our program, you gain more than access to expert advice—you join a brotherhood that supports you for life. Here, every challenge is an opportunity to grow stronger and every success is celebrated together.
Are you ready to embrace this journey? We’re looking for men who are committed to real change. This isn’t for the faint-hearted; it’s for those who are ready to work hard and meet challenges head-on.
Start by watching the video below to dive deeper into how we empower men to achieve unshakeable confidence and undeniable success. Schedule a session with one of our coaches to explore your personal goals, confront your challenges, and craft a path forward.
Watch now and discover if Knowledge for Men is your key to a new life. Are you prepared to answer the call?
