How do you communicate? Instinctively, you would probably say you communicate using words.
This could be with words you speak, words you write, or words you type…
But what if I were to tell you that your body language has a far more significant impact on your overall communication than the words actually coming out of your mouth?
Albert Mehrabian is a researcher who is famous for creating the 55/38/7 formula. He concluded that communication is 55% nonverbal (your body language), 38% vocal (your tone of voice), and 7% words only.
Understanding this is the first step toward mastering the art of alpha male body language. And by adequately studying, controlling, and honing your body language, you can become a master of persuasion and emotional influence.
Unfortunately, many men are completely unaware of how their body language influences those around them…
Have you ever been somewhere where people were laughing, joking, and having fun, only to have someone walk in with a sour mood? Then — without saying a single word — their mere presence sucks all the energy out of the room.
How and why does this happen? It’s simple: body language. Your body language conveys a far stronger message than your words ever could.
Alpha males know how to control their body language and can use it to influence those around them. The secret is knowing what types of body language to use to have this persuasive effect.
When I mention alpha male body language, what comes to mind? Do you think of someone like Arnold Schwarzenegger walking into a room like that iconic scene in Predator? That’s great for the movies and all, but real life works a little differently.
Real-life alpha males are masters in the art of subtlety. And in this instance, Arnold is the perfect example because, aside from being a big-screen action hero, he was also an elected official — the governor of California. Yet Arnold has always been the quintessential alpha. Why?
Today, I’m going to analyze various forms of male body language and show you what works and what doesn’t. With the right amount of awareness, you can then master these techniques yourself and use them to increase your own level of influence.
1. Don’t Be Afraid to Take up Space and Make Yourself Comfortable.
When you first walk into a room, what do you do? Do you scope out the best seat in the house, take it, sit down, and make yourself completely comfortable? Or do you go and sit in the corner, assuming that the seat you were eyeing is reserved for someone more important than you?
If you take the seat, you’re exhibiting alpha male behavior. If you pass on it, you’re exhibiting beta male behavior.
Simply put, alphas aren’t afraid to take up space because they believe they are entitled to that space. They won’t sit in some cramped, broken chair in the corner of the room. No, alphas want to be the center of attention.
And understand that I’m not just talking about physical stature, here. Indeed, some of the most powerful men in history have been some of the shortest, slimmest, and least physically intimidating individuals out there.
Yet when you see a leader in any context, whether it’s in politics, at a corporate office, or in sports, you can — without any prior knowledge — immediately recognize it.
Leaders, alphas, aren’t afraid to make themselves comfortable, even if that means making some of those around them uncomfortable.
Of course, this can be overdone in certain circumstances. There’s a fine line between exuding quiet confidence and being pompous or showy. In other words, you want to be able to do this naturally, without consciously thinking about it or trying.
This is a skill that needs to be learned and one that coaching can help you master. But to give you an example, let me tell you a story about two former clients of mine.
Both men worked in the corporate world, and both did well academically and tested highly on standardized IQ tests. The difference was that one had consistently worked his way up the corporate ladder while the other man hadn’t been promoted in a decade.
The only real difference I saw between these two guys was that the first gentleman was fully aware that he had above-average intelligence, and that awareness allowed him to dominate social settings. In fact, he was a little too dominant, and that dominance was off-putting to those around him.
On the other hand, the second gentleman lacked the confidence that the first man had. This was largely due to subconscious negativity that stemmed from how he was raised. So, even though he was technically just as intelligent as the first man, he couldn’t muster the confidence to express it.
In the end, coaching helped both men strike a healthy balance and allowed them both to come into their own and optimize their powers of persuasion and emotional influence.
2. Eye Contact Is Key, but It Might Not Work the Way You Think…
You’ve probably been told that it’s a good practice to always look people in the eyes when you’re speaking to them (or when they’re speaking to you).
While this is true to a certain extent, it overlooks two very important facts. First of all, no one can stay perfectly fixated on a person’s eyes for an extended period of time. It’s just not natural human behavior.
Second, you need to understand that locking your eyes 100% of the time will make the person you’re talking to uncomfortable. It’s unnatural, weird, and a little creepy. In other words, it’s too much of a good thing.
Oppositely, if you seem to be fixated on the wall behind you, the bird outside the window, or an ornament on your desk, it will make you seem disinterested or distracted, and that’s not good, either.
As with all good things in life, it comes down to balance. You can maintain eye contact for the majority of a conversation, but it’s a good idea to break gaze every five to ten seconds. It gives the person you’re speaking to a little break in the action and provides you a moment to gather your thoughts.
And this isn’t really all that difficult to master because movies are full of alpha males that you can emulate in a real-world setting. Think Marlon Brando in The Godfather, for example.
He looks away, scratches his cheek, and plays with the cat, yet remains in complete control throughout every conversation. So when he does choose to make eye contact, it actually means something.
In other words, eye contact is all about proper timing and delivery.
3. Be Mindful of Other People’s Wants and Needs, but Don’t Inconvenience Yourself for Them.
Here’s another one where balance is critical. Some guys think that being an alpha means walking all over people or degrading them. They elevate themselves by putting other people down.
In the end, that attitude will only accomplish two things: 1) you’ll probably be labeled an asshole, and 2) you’ll be shunned by your peers.
Alphas are leaders, and by definition, a leader needs to have people to lead. Even the most brutal dictators in history didn’t rise to power without having at least some support from those around them. And you can’t muster support by walking over every person you encounter.
Put another way, you need to be mindful of others’ wants and needs if you ever hope to become the leader of the pack. At the same time, alphas don’t go out of their way to accommodate others if it means sacrificing their own well-being.
Case in point: let’s say you have a professional meeting that was sprung on you last second. It’s with a trusted colleague who you work well with and genuinely want to assist. By the same token, you’re pressed for time, and attending the meeting is going to set you back. What do you do?
If you can squeeze it in, then go, but your most certainly shouldn’t allow yourself to get flustered, stressed, or visibly shaken in any way. And if you can’t make it, then just say so. Setting strong boundaries like this is vitally important, especially in professional settings.
You could be the newest guy in the office, but that doesn’t mean you need to be timid or grovel at people’s feet. If you have any hope of becoming the CEO of the company, you have to act like it.
Alpha males take control of situations and dictate the tempo of them. They don’t rush. They don’t allow others to get under their skin. They don’t allow themselves to be dominated. These are essential traits you’ll need to master to amplify your own level of influence.
4. Do You Have Lots of Muscles? Great. But Make Sure to Keep Them Loose.
Being physically tense is one of the worst things you can do in terms of body language. When you’re visibly anxious, when you cross your arms, hunch over, round your shoulders, and tap your foot on the floor, it makes everyone around you just as uncomfortable.
This closed-off body language is a defensive stature that exudes repulsive energy. Again, alphas are natural leaders, and pushing others away is not what leaders do.
When you have open body language, others will naturally gravitate to you and feed off your positive energy. I’ve seen guys who are the epitome of alpha male energy on the inside, but their body language would naturally push people away.
As I’ve said countless times, every man on the planet has an innate alpha male energy, but only a select few know how to find it, and even fewer know how to use it to its full potential.
If you want to be an alpha, you need to learn how to relax in almost all situations. You need to exude a quiet confidence that draws others to you and makes them feel protected and confident. You need to be the rock that everyone else can lean on.
5. Master Various Forms of Physical Intensity to Exert Your Dominance.
All alpha males exude a certain level of visible intensity. This could be in terms of how a man dresses, how he grooms his hair or beard, the cadence of his voice, or how he walks.
Hell, it could even be the way a man chews his food. If you’re one of the top chefs in the world who is critiquing a specific dish, you’re going to do so with an intensity that far surpasses the average guy chowing down on a Big Mac.
The point is that alpha males are intense in everything they do, and while the things they do may vary, the level of intensity never changes.
This is what sets them apart from the masses; this is what allows them to exert their dominance and show that they are the leader of the pack. And if you have any hope of acting as an alpha, you need to learn how to exert your dominance.
Now, this will look different for each man reading this. You might be a chef, or an athlete, or a stoke broker, or a bodybuilder. What you do doesn’t matter; what matters is that you do it with dominance.
And dominance comes down to one thing: mastering your conscious and subconscious emotions. It’s about embracing the idea that you are the smartest, the strongest, the best at whatever it is that you do.
6. Learn the Subtle Signs of Alpha Body Language — And Recognize When They’re Being Used Against You.
Whether you’d like to admit it or not, your success in life directly depends on your ability to compete with others. And when it comes to alphas competing with other alphas, you need to understand that the competition is high.
Now, that isn’t to say that there is constant hostility or that alpha males can’t coexist in the same space, but the truth is that there will be certain instances where two men vying for the same seat will find themselves in conflict with each other.
It’s in your best interest to be aware of the more subtle signs of alpha male dominance so that you can react appropriately when they’re being used on you.
As I mentioned early, the actual words coming out of your mouth have little influence on your overall communication. Because of this, you need to make a conscious effort to analyze a man’s words independently of his tone and body language.
For example, people who work in human resources are particularly skilled at delivering bad news with a smile. Their expression and posture convey a soothing sense of calm even though the words coming out of their mouths can be highly unpleasant.
They do this because it heightens their powers of persuasion and social influence. Alpha males do the same exact thing. Perhaps they smile a lot or walk with a certain cool confidence that puts others at ease. The tactics vary, but the goal is always the same.
Anyone who’s ever been in an intense business negotiation will tell you that mastering your body language is half the battle. Smiles, false flattery, and intonation of voice are used to get the opposition’s guard down so they agree to whatever deal is being offered.
While it’s easy to fall for these tactics at the moment, you’ll soon realize that you were the one that was being manipulated.
And don’t think that alpha energy needs to be synonymous with aggressiveness. Perhaps that’s true in the animal kingdom, but humans have long evolved past that point. These days, it’s all about subtlety and charm.
You need to pay attention to the nuances of alpha male body language to recognize when these techniques are being used to influence you. If not, you’ll unwittingly be relegated to the role of a beta.
7. Hone the Power of Your Voice and Use Tonality for Maximum Impact.
Let’s go back to the 55/38/7 formula for a second. As I mentioned, 38% of all communication is dependent upon the tone of voice that you use, so if you want to be a master of alpha male persuasion, you need to make sure you have an authoritative and recognizable tone of voice.
The alpha male doesn’t physically rush for others, and he most certainly doesn’t rush when it comes time to speak, either. If you have a habit of speaking too fast or mumbling when you talk, you need to take action to slow it down.
Just think of the most famous orators in history. Churchill, Roosevelt, Kennedy, King, Mandela, Obama — these men spoke with a cadence that was slow, calculated, and awe-inspiring.
They spoke with a level of confidence that told everyone, “It’s time to stop and listen to what I have to say.”
And remember, these are men who weren’t flashy with their speech. They didn’t yell, scream, or rely on an overly complex and esoteric vocabulary. They spoke in a way that simultaneously stopped people dead in their tracks and also kept them engaged.
Master this art yourself, and you will instantly propel yourself to become a leader among men. The key is cultivating the inner confidence that allows you to get in front of a group of people and deliver your message without fear of saying the wrong thing or sounding stupid.
No one is perfect, and everyone will say the wrong thing every now and then, but as long as you nail the delivery, it won’t even matter.
8. Master the Art of Mirroring and Allow Others to Build Their Confidence off Your Own.
When it comes to leadership, the key to loyalty is being the type of person that others can aspire to become.
Hollywood learned this years ago, and it is a big part of why you don’t see over-the-top action heroes as you did in the ’80s. Today, guys in action movies are average guys, just like you and me.
Why? Because people like looking up to others they can relate to. They like looking up to people they could actually turn into one day.
If you want to be an alpha, you must be that person. You want to be a step above them in terms of skill (after all, this is what sets you apart), but not so far ahead that your success seems unattainable.
When people look at you, they should — subconsciously — feel like they’re looking in a mirror.
The secret is maintaining a high degree of likeability and relatability.
It’s extremely difficult to find successful people who achieved great things by being the lone wolf. It happens, for sure, but more often than not, success takes hold only when you have the support of a team behind you.
And if you want to have people behind you, you need to be the type of person that people are drawn to.
9. Get Comfortable Being The Odd Man Out.
No matter how you cut it, alphas are different. For example, if you’re a big corporate executive, this might mean wearing a tailored, European-made suit; having a larger office; or sporting a luxury watch on your wrist.
Alphas, by definition, should be different from the rest of the pack. Unfortunately, being different can make many men uncomfortable. If this sounds familiar to you, it’s something you need to work on.
I always tell my clients to follow their instincts and let society follow them.
And I’m not saying you have to be naturally blessed with a huge stature and gorgeous good looks; all I’m saying is that you need to figure out what makes you uniquely you and double down on that.
Your peers, coworkers, women, the general public — everyone is attracted to the allure that comes with a man who is completely comfortable being himself.
And if being yourself means being a little outlandish, then so be it.
Sometimes guys will look at the way male celebrities dress and scoff at them, but do you think those celebrities give a shit? They’re rich, famous, immortalized through the power of the big screen, and going to bed with the most attractive women on the planet. What do they care?
These are guys who are able to let loose, embrace who they are, and use it to their advantage. And the quicker you can learn to do the same, the better.
10. Your Body — Your Body Language: Take a Holistic Approach.
Has this ever happened to you? It’s time to work out or go to the gym. You absolutely do not want to do it. You didn’t sleep well, work sucked, and you’re craving nothing more than the comfort of some carb-heavy fast food.
Despite this, you suck it up, go to the gym, and get your workout done. Not only do you complete it, but you go a step beyond and push yourself even harder than you intended. You walk out of the gym with renewed energy.
But how would you have felt if you ate that cheeseburger? Pretty shitty, I’d imagine. And would you walk out of the fast food place feeling like you can take on the world? Of course not. You’d be beating yourself up over your own weakness.
Optimizing your alpha male energy is about just that: finding the energy, your energy.
Working out. Having a healthy diet. Meditating. Playing golf. Whatever you do that makes you feel good about yourself, you need to commit to making it a consistent part of your routine.
I understand that you’re busy, but all men are busy. The difference is that the successful ones know how to leverage their time and make the most out of it. And if you want to master your alpha energy, you must learn to do that too.
If you’re struggling to achieve alpha status but still feel like something is missing, professional coaching might be the solution you’re looking for.
Remember, the foundation of all alphas is inner confidence. If you have the conviction and undying commitment to become the leader of the pack, you inevitably will.
Oppositely, if you’re plagued by self-doubt, insecurities, and a lack of inner strength, you’ll never achieve your full potential.
Professional coaching can help you weed out these subconscious limiting beliefs so you can get out of your own way and move on with living your best life. If you want power, status, fortune, and greater romantic success, there’s really no way around it.
You have to be prepared to take a good hard look at yourself and see who you really are. Beyond that, you must commit to making a change — for good.
And no, it absolutely will not be easy. In fact, it will probably be one of the most difficult things you’ll ever do…
But the good news is that you won’t be doing it alone. You’ll become part of my inner circle and have the support of me and my ‘band of brothers.’
We’ll simultaneously challenge and support you in ways you can’t even begin to comprehend. But I promise you, when all is said and done, you’ll be in awe of the man you’ve become, and you’ll thank us.
Do you think you have it in you to make a true, lasting change? If so, the next step is just one click away…