High-Value Woman: Traits, How to Find and Make Her Your Girlfriend

Some men waste their time on women in lower leagues. You don’t want to be that guy!

High-value women are not desperate for a relationship. They don’t rely on men for finances, validation, or even their security. No, they’ve got it all figured out. 

I won’t lie to you — these women are rare. If she is self-possessed enough to know what she wants and go out there and get it, she’s a real keeper. When you meet her, you will know it immediately. You need to do something about it before someone else does. 

Miss this opportunity and she will have a ring on her finger before you know it.

So, how do you spot a high-value woman and what should you do about it? I want to help you with just this conundrum. Read on to elevate your chances of getting a shot with her now. 

Traits of high-value women

First things first, what is it that makes a high-value woman? Like most men, you’ve met — and even dated — countless women in your lifetime. What makes this one so special?

Trust me, you will know that she is different. But you might not be able to pinpoint exactly why that is. Whether you’re already dating her or ready to make your move, there are some things that you will have noticed about this woman. Here’s a quick breakdown: 

1. She has her own career or knows what she wants to do with her life

You’re not looking for a 1950s housewife — you want a woman who has her own drive, her own passions, and her own career. You know that there is nothing more attractive than a woman who has set her own life goals and is reaching them at every turn.

That’s not to say that she has to have the biggest paycheck. She might be dedicated to a career in nursing, be a teacher, or have a small business.

Whatever it is that drives her, it’s about the fact that she’s not waiting around for some man to come and ‘save’ her.  

2. She doesn’t play games or try to ‘win’ your affection 

Some women play endless, tiring games. They won’t call you back. They pretend to be mad about small things.

They ‘test’ you to see how you will react to certain things. They sneak around and don’t treat you right. All of that is nothing but high school drama. 

You deserve to leave it behind. Real, grown-up women know that there’s no point in playing games when they meet someone that they value. If she is direct and lets you know that she is interested, that is a green flag. 

As the relationship moves forward, you can trust her to never play around. She’s not here for those games. She wants to live her best life — with you by her side. You need to make sure that you can measure up to her standards before you even try to approach her.

Real women want elite men. Before you can win her over, you need to make sure that you have your own life sorted out. I’ve worked with many men to help them regain their masculine power and elevate their lifestyles. 

The journey toward the life that you deserve might sound tough, but it’s worth your time and effort. Backed by a supportive community of men and coaches, I’ve seen men get the results they’ve been looking for quickly. When you transform your life, the right women will notice and, trust me, they don’t play games.

3. She is upfront about what she wants and expects from a relationship

You’ve got no time for a woman who is giving you riddles. Some women think that it’s cute to be oblique and never let a guy know what they want. Then — as if that weren’t bad enough — they have the audacity to get angry when the guy doesn’t fulfill their needs. 

You can waste your time, energy, and money on dating these women. All that you will get in the end is a loss. When you’re seeing a woman who is obsessed with drama, you need to get her claws out of you as soon as possible. Repeat after me: It will not end well. 

Dating a high-value woman is a completely different experience. From date #1, she will show you what she wants and you will never feel in the dark. You won’t have to play dumb guessing games with her to keep her on the side. She has the maturity to be upfront about it. 

4. She is self-assured and can make her own decisions

Confidence is a rare trait. 79% of women say that they struggle with their self-esteem. You’ve likely seen the signs: she is unsure of her decisions, constantly asks you for advice, and needs reassurance that she’s attractive all the time. It’s exhausting. 

High-value women are different. When you meet one, you will notice the difference straight away. She is self-assured and doesn’t need a man’s advice. In her career and personal life, she makes her own decisions. She is the one calling the shots here. 

You won’t find this woman begging for your attention — you will want to give it to her.

5. She is in control of her own life and doesn’t need a relationship

This woman was fine before you came along and — if you do break up — she will be fine once again.

Elite women are the opposite of clingy. They know themselves and their own minds. These women are not waiting around for the right guy to come along. Far from it.

She doesn’t mess you around or beg you to stay with her because she’s ‘lonely.’ No, she has her own stuff going on each day. If you’re the right man for her, you will fit into that.

6. She is kind and compassionate to the people in her life 

Kindness goes a long way. You might think the woman I have described here is cold. That’s not the case. You don’t want some uptight or cut-throat businesswoman. 

High-value women care about the people in their life — and they are not afraid to show it.

She might be close with her family. She might have a tight-knit group of friends. She might spend every Sunday with her sister.

Whatever it is, you can see that she has compassion. 

How to make a high-value woman your girlfriend 

You’ve got your eye on her — she’s got it all together and has ‘girlfriend’ written all over her. Now that you’ve found a high-quality woman, how do you make the first move? 

Over the years, I’ve worked with a wide variety of men in my elite coaching program. It’s no secret that the vast majority of men worry about dating.

When you’re new to the game, you don’t want to end up making rookie mistakes. Luckily, I’ve got your back here.

Here, I share my expert-backed advice on where to find high-value women, how to catch their attention and make them want you. 

1. Make the right first impression — it counts 

75% of men are scared to first approach an attractive woman. Let’s say that she catches your attention when you’re in a local bar. How do you react? Do you stare at her across the room for hours on end? Or do you get up out of your seat and do something about it?

When you find yourself in the presence of a high-quality woman, every second matters. What you do from the offset will make an impact on her and determine how she reacts. No matter how nervous you may be, it’s important that you act like a complete gentleman. 

Be respectful of her space and whether she wants to be approached. When you first introduce yourself, ask her if she’d like to have a drink with her. Women often find men intimidating when they approach them out of the blue. Let her know that you won’t take up too much of her time and that you purely want to get to know her or get her number. 

2. Show her the respect that she deserves from the start 

High-quality women are worthy of your respect. Scratch that — all women are worthy of your respect. One of the most important lessons that all men have to learn is to treat women as they deserve to be treated.

When you meet a woman who ticks all of your boxes, you need to treat her like a lady. There are no exceptions to this golden rule. 

Forget the tricks that pick-up artists tell you will work. They won’t.

If you want to make this woman your girlfriend, your best bet is to go back to old-school dating techniques.

That means showing her that you are interested, taking her on dates, and giving her the space to make up her own mind. Take some tips from your grandpa — he knew a thing or two.

3. Avoid playing games or using cheap gimmicks to get her attention 

Men and women both play games when dating. You know the drill. You might not text her for a few days after the first date.

You might pretend to have plans (when you don’t!) to seem more in demand. You might even lower yourself to the old ‘negging’ tactic. 

None of the above will work. You’re dealing with a high-quality woman here and you need to show her more respect. Leave those playground tricks behind. 

If she notices that you are playing games, you will lose her attention fast.

Chances are, she’s met men like that before and — as you might expect — swiftly dismissed them. Women who are self-possessed don’t have the time to mess around with players.

4. Show her that you are a high-value man and worth her time

You’re looking for a high-value woman — have you stopped to think about what she’s looking for? Yes… *ding ding ding*… you guessed it: She is looking for a high-value man

The most effective strategy in attracting this woman is showing that you have your sh*t together. Women who know what they want will be on the lookout for elite men. 

They don’t want some man-child who they will have to pick up after. Nothing is less attractive than that. No, they need a guy who calls the shots in his own life. 

What are you bringing to the table? A good job? A house? Financial independence? A lively social life? Think about what it is that you have to offer and subtly let her know about it. You don’t need to flaunt it. Be quietly confident in what you have to share with her. 

The moment she sees that you’re a strong, stable man, she will be interested. You don’t have to bend over backward to get her attention. Make sure you let her know that you are on the path toward your most elite life and that she has the chance to join you. 


Before you can win the affection of a high-value woman, you need to elevate your lifestyle. I’ve worked with a selection of the world’s most elite men to support their growth.

My coaching program teaches men like you to change their mindset and regain the masculine power that has been taken from them. Taking control of your life is the first step. 

Unfortunately, there’s no magic trick that will make a high-value woman fall in love with you. Life doesn’t work that way. You need to put in the groundwork and figure out your own life before you can attract a woman of this caliber. You have to start that journey. 

Having the support of coaches and a community of like-minded men can make a real difference. I’ve worked with countless men who have tapped into this power and used it to upgrade their lifestyles and relationships.

It’s time to stop missing opportunities – in your work, romantic, and social life – and start living the best version of your life now. 

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