Everything that you want out of your life is on the other side of a lot of hard work, discipline, and time.
If you can be disciplined, work hard, and stay committed to the process over a long period, the possibilities for what you can achieve are endless.
But this simple truth is the reason why most people fail. Most people cannot conquer their goals, improve their lives, and live their dreams, but this isn’t because they’re untalented or weak.
It’s because they aren’t accountable for their actions.
This is why accountability groups are the best way for men to stay committed to difficult goals over time.
Yes – your achievement starts and ends with you – but along the way, you will need some help.
You might be able to ask friends and family for support, but ask yourself this question:
Are the people close to me genuinely invested in my success?
If not, you need to look elsewhere. An accountability group is a great place to start.
These are the seven reasons that accountability groups are helping men change their lives like never before.
1. You Have to Keep Your Word, and There Have to Be Consequences For If You Don’t
When you set a goal, whether it’s to lose weight, start a business, get stronger, read more, or even do your Rubik’s cube faster, your goal starts as nothing but some words.
That’s all goals are, really. Goals are just words until you start chasing them.
Without accountability, there’s no guarantee that you’ll ever reach a goal. The odds are not in your favor when you start out.
Almost all overweight people don’t lose weight.
Most people don’t develop reading habits.
I don’t have any statistics on Rubik’s cubes, but I can guarantee that most people can’t solve them.
But what if we change things? What if we put you in a room full of people who want to see you solve a Rubik’s cube?
See, the easy way to separate yourself from people who don’t achieve goals is to find a group of people who are not happy when you quit. You should feel some shame for quitting.
That shame will push you to be a better version of yourself.
Learn to accept negative consequences for actions that are harming your growth. This will push you to take the steps you need toward the goals you want.
2. A Community Is a Powerful Place
What if you decide to go out on your own?
What if you throw everything you know about “community” out the window? What if you keep all your plans close to your chest, seek to go your way, and do the whole “lone wolf thing”?
Well, one of two things will happen:
- You’ll develop a resolve so firm that you become unstoppable. You’ll climb the mountain slowly, “make it, ” and become very successful. You might become happy too, but there’s no guarantee.
- Or, you’ll quit, and no one will know you’ve quit.
If I’m being honest, the second is more likely.
Communities instill responsibility in us, and it’s this responsibility that makes us better.
When you win, your entire community wins. They’re proud of you, and you feel communal pride for your actions.
This pride empowers you to keep striving toward bigger and bigger goals.
You also learn to become a less selfish person yourself. You learn to celebrate the success of others the way you celebrate the success of yourself.
Think about it like watching your favorite sports team win on TV, only instead of some dudes you don’t know throwing a ball around, it’s your friend overcoming obstacles they once thought were impossible to get around.
This will empower you to do the same, and your achievement will empower them to keep pushing.
Together, you all grow.
Alone? There are no guarantees.
3. Someone Will Pick You Up When You’re Down
So far, we’ve focused mostly on how accountability groups make you more responsible.
This is an undeniable benefit of working with people. Accountability coaching makes you stronger.
But what about when you’re just not feeling very strong?
It’s bound to happen. Sometimes, you don’t get the job done. Failure is an inevitable part of the road to success.
And, as someone who’s failed dozens of times, I’ll tell you this: failure hurts.
It’s supposed to hurt, and you’re supposed to use that pain as fuel to move forward. Your accountability group members are there to help soften the blow and ensure you don’t let a bad day or week become a bad month or year.
You join an accountability group so you don’t quit when times are tough.
And trust me; times are going to get tough.
But the tough times are actually where the growth happens.
Although, you probably already knew that.
4. You Will Learn to Establish Your True Core Values
Good accountability groups don’t just help you reach your goals, they help you reach your purpose.
See, in pursuing big goals, you learn a lot about yourself.
You’ll experience moments of feeling weak, moments of feeling strong, and moments of feeling motivated and happy to keep moving forward – to keep climbing.
All of these feelings (and the catalysts for these feelings) will help you realize what it is you value most in life, and your group can help you to live by these values.
The best part is that you’ll likely find that your values are more common than you thought, and you’ll have plenty of people around you who value the same things.
Because let’s be real – the world today is a bit hedonistic. People today are self-indulgent.
Porn is everywhere. Social media is porn. Fast food is just porn for your stomach.
When you get into the accountability group, you start to live against the hedonistic values that modern society has built on and develop true core values.
Then, as your values grow, the group will validate those values, and you’ll start to live better together.
You’ll all achieve more – together.
The accountability group is the simplest way to get out of the self-indulgent realities of modern society and find your true tribe.
This will change your life.
5. You’ll Do Things That You Didn’t Think Were Possible
I love the story of Roger Bannister – the first man to run a 4-minute mile.
He did something that was at the time considered to be humanly impossible. He shocked the world, broke barriers, and changed people’s thoughts about running.
After Bannister did it, the 4-minute mile has slowly become something that’s not that remarkable in the distance running. The current world record in the mile is 3:43 – 17 seconds lower than what Bannister did.
This might not seem remarkable to you, but 17 seconds in a competitive sport like distance running is a lot of time. In 17 seconds, you could look away from the race, take a sip from your drink and a bite of your hot dog, and then look back to see Bannister finish if he was racing against today’s world record holder.
But at the time, what Bannister did was impossible.
Why? Because no one had done it before.
And how did Bannister run the first 4-minute mile?
He had a secret weapon – a pacemaker.
His pacemaker was Chris Brasher, a decorated runner in his own right, and Brasher is a big reason Bannister broke the record for the 4-minute mile.
On the day of the 4-minute mile attempt, Brasher ran ahead of Bannister for the first 2 minutes of the race – showing him just how fast he needed to reach his goal. After Brasher faded off, Bannister sped ahead and maintained the pace he needed to break the record.
The 4-minute was a carefully planned act of human collaboration, not merely a feat of speed and endurance. This is how pretty much all success works.
Chris Brasher didn’t run a 4-minute mile that day (or ever, by my research), but he supported and worked with Bannister and enabled him to achieve his biggest goals.
This is the power of accountability groups. This is the power of teamwork.
6. You’ll Become Free to Fail
Did you know that astronaut Buzz Aldrin became so depressed after the moon landing that he couldn’t get out of bed?
The reason? Buzz was a perfectionist who became isolated by his success.
He felt like a fraud because he thought he was the only one who knew about how he wasn’t special. Buzz was just a regular guy who’d done extraordinary things, and he let it get to his head.
A lot of people do this.
You and I and Buzz Aldrin are all the same, he just had some different life experiences that made him an astronaut.
Buzz still felt fear, he still got anxious, and he still struggled every single day to do the things that he needed to do.
He didn’t get past his depression until he found community.
See, an accountability group doesn’t just help you stay focused, and it also helps you become free from perfectionism.
And how does a support group help you overcome perfectionism?
It dismantles your ego through the community.
The more success we experience, the more we want to be perfect. We develop standards for ourselves that are ridiculous, and we force ourselves to uphold them. We think that if we slip, the world will come crashing down.
At least, this is what your ego tells you.
When you get into an accountability group, you’ll notice that the other people in your group are just as imperfect as you are. You’ll realize you are not alone in your inability to be perfect.
When you do this, you’ll become free to fail again, and all growth and success happen when you’re free to fail.
7. You’ll Learn Crucial Problem-Solving Skills
Most of the time, we don’t achieve our goals and improve in the way we want to because we do not have the skills.
It’s not your fault – you don’t know what to do.
The first time I baked a pizza, for example, I left it in for too long, and it came out burnt. The cheese was black.
I, being the perfectionist I am, could have gotten mad and decided to quit baking forever after this, but instead, I decided to consult a friend about the optimal baking time for pizza dough.
See, I didn’t know the appropriate cooking time and didn’t read enough beforehand.
A lack of knowledge when beginning an endeavor is not your fault, but it is your responsibility to fix that lack of knowledge. It’s your responsibility to learn.
The accountability group gives you like-minded people who also want to learn. People who want the same things you want.
As you work with the support group, you start to learn new ways of thinking and interacting with the problems that for so long have held you back. You learn how to view your problems not as roadblocks that stop you, but as obstacles that you can maneuver through and around.
The research doesn’t lie – problem-solving is easier when you’re in a group.
An accountability group helps you stay consistent and solve problems, not only when times are good but also (especially) when times are tough.
An accountability group can change your life.
It’s changed the lives of many of the men in my life and my life.
Working together is the key to building a better version of yourself, reaching your long-term goals, and ultimately becoming happier.
A good life requires good people around you, and being a part of an accountability group is a great way to find those good people.
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See, this program isn’t only going to help you break free from nice guy behaviors, build quality romantic relationships, and become a stronger Grounded Man. It’s also going to provide you with support from both myself and my elite community of men. Our coaches provide informed professional advice on how to play hard to get, among other important relationship principles.
We’re going to help you learn how to get to know people without being desperate, clingy, or weak.
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