JP Sears is an emotional healing coach, YouTuber, author, international teacher, speaker at events, world traveler, and curious student of life. His work empowers people to live more meaningful lives. JP is the author of “How To Be Ultra Spiritual,” (Sounds True Publishing, release date of March 7th, 2017). He is very active with his online videos where he encourages healing and growth through his humorous and entertainingly informative videos, including his hit Ultra Spiritual comedy series, which has accumulated over 100 million views. You can learn more about JP and his work at AwakenWithJP.com.
Favorite Success Quote
“Nothing is as it seems.”
1. If Nothing is as It Seems, Then What Does this Mean?
While the above line might sound like something out of an esoteric spiritual text or a children’s poetry book, its implications are profound.
As human beings, we are all incredibly delusional whether we want to admit it or not.
The very chair (or whatever inanimate object is currently supporting your weight) that you sit on is comprised of 99% empty space! And yet to us, it seems solid.
And when you stop to think about it, you will begin to realize that this concept of “Nothing as it seems” is applicable in all areas of life.
Take, for example, a common goal among many men… To date a “Perfect 10″.
While most people would agree that this is a fine goal and that every man should seek to find a woman who is his own “10”, when you dive deeper into the nuances of your motivation, you might begin to realize that reality is quite different from what you thought.
For the man desiring a perfect 10, his motivations might be rooted in an early childhood trauma or feelings of deep inadequacy. He may feel that he is a “1” or a “2” and that a perfect “10” would increase his value and worth.
If this is true, then he is faced with one of three options.
He can ignore this new information and uncomfortable way of viewing his desires and continue living his life as he was before.
He can relinquish his desires and move onto more “noble” pursuits.
Or he can do the deep internal work needed to elicit change in his own sense of worth and esteem so that his desire for that perfect woman comes from a place of love, wholeness, and a desire to share a life.
But remember, this is not a judgment, this is not a call to abandon all of your self-serving goals, it’s not even a statement of absolute truth (if nothing is as it seems, then perhaps this isn’t as it seems either).
Rather it is an invitation.
An invitation to go deeper in your life, your health, and your relationships. An invitation to figure out what is really driving you, to see situations for what they really are (or at least what you perceive they really are), and an invitation to go beyond your current level of consciousness.
You owe it to yourself to dive into your life and take a more objective look at who you are and what you want.
And you might be surprised by what you find.
2. Break Out of the Comparison Trap
One of the greatest single distractions in our modern world is the comparison trap.
And how couldn’t it be?
Each and every day, we are bombarded with images of private jets, exotic cars, scantily clad women, and juiced up “Natty’s” who make us feel inadequate and completely overwhelmed.
Is it any wonder why most of us look at our own lives and feel incredibly unfulfilled?
You see, our society does its absolute best to keep us distracted, to stop us from looking inward, and to keep us contributing to the system by setting goals that aren’t our own, buying things we don’t need, living lifestyles we can’t afford.
Because whenever we are focused on keeping up with our neighbors or looking like “That Guy” on Instagram, we will never realize that we don’t need to spend thousands of dollars on clothes, cars, and supplements to be happy. In fact, almost all true fulfillment comes from within.
So I want to challenge you to stop wasting your time looking at others and start spending more time looking at yourself.
Cut out the social media, stop looking at other people’s lives, and focus on yourself.
Spend time alone asking yourself what you really want and what would make you truly fulfilled.
Cut yourself off from the herd that mindlessly follows whatever new fad is trending on Facebook.
Build a life that is designed by you, with you, and for you.
3. The Mess Strengthens You
Whenever we are in the midst of adversity, it’s easy to become disheartened and lose hope, to feel like there is no end in sight.
And once the adversity has passed, it’s even easier to feel shameful about the struggle that we endured.
But your messy story is what strengthens you and brings power into your life.
Think about it this way.
If someone walked down the road and said “Hey, here’s a gold 1st place Medal”, would you really want it?
Maybe, but if you’re anything like me, that medal would end up in a trash can by the side of the road.
Now I want you to imagine that you are preparing to compete in the Olympics. You’ve been training for the better part of a decade, you’ve lost sleep, injured yourself countless times, given up your social life, and all but devoted your entire life to becoming one of the best.
After a brutal and strenuous competition, you cross the finish line first, achieving victory and winning that gold medal.
How would you feel about that?
Would you carelessly discard it in one of the city’s waste bins? I doubt it.
When you have bled and suffered for something so much, you cherish the journey, you treasure the medal, and you revel in the victory.
And this same principle is true in life.
If you aren’t struggling to achieve your goals, if you don’t have to bleed a little bit, if you don’t have any scars, then how valuable will it really feel?
The mess that you are going through, the proverbial “River of Shit” that you must swim through, that’s what makes it worthwhile, and that’s what makes your story worth telling.
So learn to feed off the mess, feel strengthened by the struggle, and revel in the pain… Because these are the things that make success worth it.
4. Feel Your Freaking Feelings
As men, we are good at thinking about things.
We think about problems, we think about solutions, we think about the future, we think about the past, and, unfortunately, we think about our feelings.
But by their very nature, our feelings are meant to be felt not analyzed and thought about.
Society has spent so much time trying to drill the dogmas that “Real men don’t cry” and “Tough guys don’t show emotion” into our head, that, as men, we have lost touch with our feelings.
We are no longer able to just feel things without assigning judgment or coming up with some sort of action plan to remedy or enhance the feeling.
And because of this disconnection, we have also become disconnected with ourselves.
We no longer know how to feel fully, we no longer remember how to simply sit in our emotions and allow the feelings of the moment to wash over us.
In order to help you reconnect with your feelings, JP recommends that you follow what he calls the “Feel Your F*cking Feelings” meditation.
During this meditation, you simply pick one sensation in your body, whether it is positive or negative, and just feel it.
Don’t think about it, don’t analyze it, don’t try and fix it… Just feel it.
If you sit down and immediately feel a cramp in your back, then just feel that sensation.
If you sit down and feel a build up of energy in your stomach, just feel it.
If you want to become “Ultra Spiritual” then you must reconnect with yourself and learn how to feel again.
5. Success is About Being Ok with Who You Are
Success, true success, doesn’t come from the amount of money in your bank account or single digit body fat or dating a Victoria’s Secret model.
True success comes from your ability to be yourself fully, completely, and unapologetically.
When you are totally comfortable with who you are, and you don’t feel the need to apologize for being you, then you are a success.
But this is easier said than done.
Because we are our own worst critics, and oftentimes, the person who want to be gets in the way of the person we were born to be.
There’s really no wisdom JP or myself can impart to make this journey easier.
Success is simple. It’s about learning to love yourself and be ok with who you are.
Getting to that point will be hard, but I promise you that it will be worth it.
1. Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch
2. What Matters Most by James Hollis
3. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle