177: David Eschenlohr: Memoirs of a PUA Survivor

David Eschenlohr is a German with a Bachelor’s Degree in English from a Swedish University. He’s the author of the book Rite of Passage: Memoirs of a Survivor of the Pickup Community, in which he tells the story of a young man who descents into a vicious cycle of self-help and pickup.

His unique approach to ‘living a deeper life’ is the result of studying Zen under Master Poraj, taking seminars with the biggest dating company in the world; Real Social Dynamics, and the most experiences pickup coach in history; Alex Social, extensive solo world travel, studying culture in an academic context, furocious reading, critical thinking, and an open mind.

Originally from a small town, David has experienced some of the biggest cities in the world, and now promotes a simplistic, yet deep lifestyle which penetrates beyond social norms and superficial self-image.

Favorite Success Quote

“If you don’t know what you want to do, just keep doing”~Anonymous

Key Points

1. Don’t Follow Only One Voice 

Today, many people make the mistake of falling for the guru syndrome. The mentality where you fall prey to listening to only one expert or individual.

The problem with this is, that no matter how intelligent or influential any one individual is, the lessons that they teach are mass marketed and not tailored to your specific circumstances and stage in life.

For example, while the pick up theory in Neil Strauss’s The Game, may work for a young 20 something year old who is terrible with women, it is probably less effective for the young man looking for a partner to share his life with.

Fill your head with as many different voices (who have the results you want) as possible. Get your info from a wide variety of sources, and then take action based off of where you are in life and what your goals are.

2. Do Not Lose Your Authentic Self for External Goals 

On the way to the top, it is easy to lose your true self to external wants and desires. It is easy to become someone that you are not in pursuit of a goal that may not even be yours.

The easiest way to ensure that this does not happen is to make sure that your goals are in alignment with who you really are.

An example that David shared was a friend of his who got into the pickup game out of a desire to meet and attract a beautiful girlfriend. Instead, by delving into pickup and getting caught up in the goals of the game, he began a lifestyle of rampant debauchery that was in-congruent with who he was.

Never lose sight of who you really are and what you want for the goals of others. Make sure that everything you set out to do is in alignment with your authentic self.

3. To Become Self Reliant, Do Your Own Thing 

One of the keys to being a happy, fulfilled man is self-reliance, and the key to self-reliance is to do your own thing. Go your own way, blaze your own trail and create your own life.

Life is too short to allow your path to be dictated by the wants and desires of others. If you have a goal or dream, go after it with all of your heart, regardless of popular opinion.

4. Learn to be Full in Movement Towards Your Goals 

Like Hal Elrod said on the very first episode of Knowledge for Men “Love the life you have while you create the life of your dreams.” It is key to realize that if you want to be fulfilled, you have to be full in and of yourself, regardless of any exterior goal.

Success is a journey and a direction, not a destination. Realize that you will never reach success, you will only move towards it. Learn to be whole and complete in yourself and with the life that you have now while you move towards the life of your dreams.

5. Screw Purpose Embrace Direction

Today, the words purpose and passion are thrown out like candy. David is of the belief that instead of believing in one linear purpose for your life, you must develop a direction for your life.

Instead of having one ultimate goal for your future, develop a direction that you want to go. A path that you want to follow. Like the point above, it is key to realize that success is not a single event but a lifetime of reaching for bigger and better things.

So screw purpose and embrace your direction.

Influential Books

1. The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida

2. Antifragile by Nassim Taleb

3. The Magic Mountain by Thomas Mann

Connect With David Eschenlohr


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