Dating culture today is set up in a way that leads to bad relationships.
In dating today, there are no values, no responsibility, and everything is chaos. Today’s dating culture is weak, and men and women are struggling to find lasting love like never before.
With the fall of the relationship has come the rise of the “situationship”, and it’s killing our souls and our ability to build real connections. It’s making us weak, making us miserable, and it’s ruining love for all of us.
The key to getting past this is to learn to understand how the modern dating culture is structured, and then implement a few practices to help you build better relationships.
This article is designed to help you find a forever partner.
What Is Wrong With Relationships Today?
The clear problem with relationships today is that many today fall into what we call “situationships,” – as I mentioned above.
Most “relationships” are not really relationships, they’re some weird in-between thing.
But what exactly is a situationship, and are you in one? What’s even wrong with situationships?
The problem with “situationships” (yes, this is an official word in the dictionary now) lies in the definition of a situationship in Urban Dictionary.
“Let’s just chill, have sex, and be confused about the fact that we are not together but have official emotions for each other.”
A lot of men (and women) today struggle with expressing and processing their emotions, and because of this, it’s just easier to avoid having “serious” relationships and instead to have casual “situationships”.
The problem with situationships is that they do the opposite of what you think they’re going to do. They never last and everyone gets hurt.
Instead of having these short flings that do nothing to enrich our lives and improve the way we live, you must instead aim for deeper relationships.
The first thing you must do to improve your relationships is to improve your intentions with them.
Once we know what we’re working for, we can start to work toward becoming the kind of man who is able to build lasting relationships.
Here are 7 habits and mindsets that will help you to have better, longer-lasting relationships.
1. Find an Emotional Outlet That Isn’t Your Partner
If you bounce from woman to woman, you will never be able to form a deep, lasting emotional connection with someone.
On the flip side, if you don’t figure out a way to process your emotions, you’ll always struggle to build good relationships. You’ll seem too emotional and even “weak”.
Unfortunately, I know this from personal experience.
Men need friendships with other men in order to have better relationships with women.
We need to work together on this.
But the truth is that you can’t just go hang out with your boys. You need to do something that’s productive for the relationship that you have with yourself and productive for improving your romantic relationships.
No woman worth dating is going to fall for you if you’re full of crap, weak, and needy. No woman worth loving is going to fall for a man who doesn’t have his life together.
An emotional outlet can be the key catalyst to help you put yourself together.
You can do this through a number of ways – working out, therapy, joining a group coaching program for men, writing, etc. – but one thing is certain: you must do it.
You must find an emotional outlet that is not your partner so that you can become more centered in your world.
2. Become More of a Cutthroat Jerk
Many men today are terrified of seeming “mean” to women.
They want every woman they interact with to be kind and nice to them, and they want to do the same. Men today are more conflict-avoidant than ever.
The reason? Fear of abandonment. Men today don’t want to be alone, so they become passive and weak in their relationships.
This is terrible for their self-esteem, their quality of relationships, and the quality of life for the people they have relationships with.
The only solution as a man is to learn how to be cutthroat with the people in your life. Figure out who you want in your life, and learn to accept that doing this will mean that you will spend time alone. Time is money, so be careful who you spend it with.
If you only had an hour a day to spend with other people, who would you talk to?
You really need to learn to be happy alone, so that you can be more selective with the people you allow into your life.
This leads me to our next point.
3. Become Stronger So That You Don’t Need a Relationship to Be Happy
You don’t need a relationship to be a happy, strong man, but a lot of men think otherwise.
They think that the love they get from a woman is going to give them what they can’t give themselves.
This idea is not accurate.
It also makes your relationships more unstable, because you start to go to a woman for the emotional needs that are supposed to be taken care of by you, like self-esteem, peace, and motivation. You start chasing the high the woman gives you as opposed to improving and being happy in your life.
This is the key to becoming someone who’s strong and capable of building lasting relationships.
If you want to be a strong, more attractive man who has the courage to be in a relationship that lasts, you must become strong and more grounded within yourself.
Strong men make everyone’s lives better. Weak men make everyone’s lives worse.
Do the work.
4. Have a Clear Purpose For Your Life and Your Relationship
Working toward big goals makes you more attractive to women.
Ambition is attractive because ambition creates hope for a better future. If you are ambitious and working toward clearly defined future goals, your relationships are going to follow suit. People will be drawn to you because when they’re around you, they feel confident they know what they’re getting.
I’ve been clear-focused and I’ve been aimless, and I’ll tell you this:
Every time, the woman chooses the man with a clear purpose.
Likewise, it’s important to have a clear purpose when it comes to having stronger relationships.
Women don’t like being strung along by an aimless man, and they really don’t like being blindsided by a man who doesn’t know what he wants.
Men who are consistent are more attractive to women. This is just the truth of building consistent relationships.
5. Express Your Truth as Completely As You Can
This is how you figure out what kind of man you are, so you can attract a partner who is similar to you.
In relationships, opposites don’t usually attract.
If you’re a jock, it might be hard to build a good relationship with someone who has no inclination for fitness at all. If you’re a bookworm, it might be tough to date someone who doesn’t even know that The Lord of the Rings is a movie based on a book.
You want to be in a relationship with someone who is compatible with you, and you do this by expressing yourself honestly and truthfully. You don’t contort yourself to what you think you might want in a partner, you just live.
If you’re a writer, write. Don’t wish to write. If you’re a traveler, stop fantasizing about trips and start taking them. Doing this is the key to living honestly, and living honestly creates a chain reaction that will improve your life in every way possible.
Most importantly, living honestly is the easiest and best way to surround yourself with the right people.
Surrounding yourself with the right people is the easiest and best way to build romantic relationships that last.
6. Don’t Settle For Someone Who Isn’t Right For You
Men who settle for women who aren’t right for them are doomed to live boring and dull lives.
They are doomed to be aimless and unfulfilled, and without great change, they will always have short, low-quality relationships that leave them questioning themselves and feeling broken.
The key is to stop living a small life.
You don’t need to try to be president and you don’t need to be the next Jeff Bezos, but you do need to stop allowing resistance (and weakness) to dictate who you date, what you do, and how you live.
Settling for a life of quiet desperation is the path to nothing but spiritual suicide and existential depression.
There is no better example of this than settling for a partner who you don’t truly want to be with. What you’ll find is that choosing to settle for someone just because they’re available is actually worse than being alone.
Don’t be afraid to chase.
You may have never had someone tell you this, you may have never felt or seen true lasting love, and you may think I’m lying, but I promise, lasting love exists.
It’s just a highly difficult experience to earn. It’s perhaps the gold medal of life.
Don’t forget that when you think about giving up.
7. Become a Good Listener
Listening is the secret sauce of men who have lasting romantic relationships.
If you’re in a relationship with someone and they don’t feel like you listen well, they will feel unseen in the relationship. Over time, this can create resentment.
This resentment will make them more likely to cheat, break things off, or lose interest and force both of you into a dry and loveless relationship.
Listening well is the key to avoiding a relationship you hate.
See, everyone today wants to talk all the time. If you can muster the courage to swallow your pride and silence that voice in your head that needs to be heard all the time, your attractiveness will increase tenfold.
Just let the person you are in a relationship with talk first – you’ll get your chance. When you do this, you’ll find that you may like listening to them talk, or you may really hate it. Both of these realizations are good.
Both of these realizations will allow you to learn more about yourself and the person you are aiming to have a relationship with.
A true alpha male is a great listener, not just a great speaker.
In romantic relationships, your listening skills are essential. Develop them just like you would any skill.
Do not neglect the immeasurable value of listening to others.
Conclusion
Most men struggle when it comes to relationships, and they blame everyone but themselves.
They blame the structure of relationship culture, their partners, and even their parents and past lovers – people who have nothing directly to do with their current relationship.
But you are stronger than that.
You are fully capable of seeing past the lies and having the lasting, fulfilling relationships you so desperately desire.
You may just need some guidance to get there yourself. You may just need some help.
That’s why I want to tell you about my exclusive coaching program, led by me and my team of experienced men’s coaches.
See, this program isn’t only going to help you break free from nice guy behaviors, build quality romantic relationships, and become a stronger Grounded Man. It’s also going to provide you with support from both myself and my elite community of men. Our coaches provide informed professional advice on how to play hard to get, among other important relationship principles.
We’re going to help you learn how to get to know people without being desperate, clingy, or weak.
No drama, no games, just growth. This will be the last self-development group you’ll ever need.
With this program, you’ll be tapped into your own “band of brothers” and you’ll also have access to the best training course for men in existence today, as well as weekly calls with my team of inspiring and determined coaches. There are no boys, no complainers, or dabblers, this program is for serious men only.
