The big 3-0. Whether you’re turning 30, have already hit that plateau, or are already thinking about the big 4-0, you may wonder what women in their 30s want from a man. While there are certain traits that a woman of any age wants in a mate, there are a few specific things you need to be mindful of when dating a woman in her 30s.
The 30s are a decade in a woman’s life where her perspectives and desires begin to change, and the things that made you desirable in your 20s might actually have the opposite effect.
Women have established careers. They have a clearer sense of who they are and what they want. And they have a more mature outlook on relationships and life.
As a result, the qualities they look for in a partner also change. Understanding these little nuances can make all the difference in a romantic relationship.
Today, I’ll cover ten qualities women in their 30s typically look for in a man.
Whether you’re already dating someone or looking to start a fresh relationship, these strategies will ensure you enjoy dating success in your 30s and beyond.
20s vs. 30s — The Difference A Decade Makes
If you’re sitting here thinking there’s no real difference between dating a woman in her 20s and a woman in her 30s, let me clarify a few things.
In your 20s, it’s all about experimentation and having fun. You’re not planning a future as much as having late-night parties and taking spontaneous road trips.
In your 30s, it’s more about ordering takeout on a Friday night and watching a Netflix show that one of you will fall asleep on.
Of course, that’s not to say you both wouldn’t like to go out partying; it’s just that your jobs have left you both so burned out that you don’t even have the energy to hit the clubs anymore.
In your 20s, your shared hopes, dreams, and aspirations define your compatibility. It’s all about finding your “soulmate.”
In your 30s, you find out it’s the little things that matter. It’s about cleaning the dirty dishes in the sink, sharing financial responsibilities, and other dull and mundane tasks.
In fact, some personality traits you hardly pay attention to in your 20s are vitally important to your long-term compatibility in your 30s.
In your 20s, the question is, “What are we doing next?” In your 30s, the question is, “Where is this relationship (and my life) going?”
You need a partner who closely aligns with your life goals. This is the time when women crave stability and reliability. Here’s how to be a man who gives them what they need.
1. A Man Who Is Motivated — By Something
Many men mistakenly believe that women are only interested in men with massive amounts of material wealth.
It’s all about how many zeros are at the end of their bank account, how many rooms are in their house, and how many sports cars are in their driveways.
While there certainly are women who prioritize such things over all others, this is the exception — not the norm.
Women want a man motivated by something, which doesn’t necessarily have to be money.
It could be as simple as running a 10k or visiting a foreign country from your bucket list. Maybe you want to learn a new language or master a new skill.
The “what” doesn’t really matter. What matters is that you have something that drives you. Something that helps you get out of bed in the morning and keeps you going even when your energy is depleted.
A man should always have dreams, ambitions, and a larger picture for his future.
I’m not saying you need to become the CEO of your company, but you should have a clear list of things you want to accomplish.
Show the special woman in your life that you have intentions. Show her that you are a man who can provide her with new experiences and a lifestyle she couldn’t get with another man.
2. A Man With A Clear Vision Of His Future (Especially Regarding Children)
Once you hit 30, women start looking for a man with a clear vision of his future. If you’re still figuring it out, that’s fine, but you should at least know where you’re headed.
Are you planning on staying in your current field at work? Are you planning on moving to another state? Do you want children?
You need to start thinking about these topics because they’re guaranteed to come up in any new relationship.
Dating in your 20s has an entirely different dynamic than in your 30s, and you must be prepared for it.
Many couples in their 20s live apart and only get together on evenings or weekends. Most couples in their 30s live together at some point.
In your 20s, you probably have few (if any) shared expenses with your significant other. In your 30s, your lives are more intertwined. You may split utility bills, make cell phone payments, or even share a vehicle.
A woman needs to know she is with a man she can rely on. She needs to see that she can have a future with you. And she can only do that if you have a vision of where you’re headed.
Remember, if a woman wants children in her life, this is the time to make it happen. Like it or not, the biological clock is ticking.
I’m not saying you need to “settle down” or live a boring life, but you need to be aware that women have different priorities and needs at this point in their lives.
And they want a man who can satisfy those needs.
3. A Man Who Isn’t Going To Play With Her Emotions
Chances are, any woman in her 30s has dealt with at least one or two jerk boyfriends in the past.
If the woman you’re seeing has a history of being cheated on or having her emotions toyed with, she will be hyper-sensitive about any such behavior by you.
So, do yourself a favor and don’t do anything that could be considered “morally questionable.”
You might be able to get away with this stuff in your 20s, but women have a much lower tolerance for these things in their 30s.
If you make a woman feel like she is dispensable or don’t treat her with respect, she isn’t going to hang around.
Besides that, women are looking for emotional maturity at this stage in their lives. They want a man who has integrity and is committed to them and the relationship.
It’s not just about being faithful; it’s about being emotionally present and reliable.
Be straightforward with your intentions and actions. Treat women the way you want to be treated. It’s that simple.
4. A Man Who Embodies The Spirit Of A Gentleman
The term “life hack” is overused these days, but this is one of the easiest things you can do to attract women in their thirties: be a gentleman.
The problem is that many men don’t even understand what that means. So, here’s a crash course…
Gentlemen have a presence. They command attention. They dress well, speak well, and are respected by those around them. But beyond that, they give respect to others.
So many men fail to realize that it’s not just about how you treat your partner but everyone in your life. It’s a given that you’ll treat your partner well, but you have to go a step beyond that.
You have to become a leader, an alpha, and a man that people will look up to.
Being a gentleman means being considerate and empathetic to everyone you interact with. It’s about reading and understanding the needs of others and responding when appropriate.
And none of this is rocket science. It’s about holding a door for a stranger or lending an ear to a coworker.
It’s about going beyond the societal norms of politeness and being a gentleman in all walks of life.
Women in their 30s are drawn to genuine men. Be unapologetically yourself. Don’t just play a role; live it.
Be a man of honor, integrity, and grace, and you’ll have women lining up to date you.
5. A Man Who Has Emotional Presence (Put The Cell Phone Down)
Here’s a little life fact that no one likes to talk about: Most people’s lives are boring.
Sure, they’re fascinating to the individual living it, but to the outsider? They’re about as stimulating as watching grass grow.
So, when your girlfriend just needs a few minutes to vent about her stress at work, you need to put in the effort to be emotionally present (in other words, listen to what she is saying).
And, of course, she should do the same for you. Also, understand that it isn’t just about listening but being responsive. This is true in person, on the phone, or through text.
A romantic relationship is all about balance. It’s not just about the exciting times — the vacations, the nights out, the new experiences — it’s about knowing how to keep those dull moments fresh.
When the two of you are tired, stressed, and lack the energy to make dinner, those moments matter the most.
If you can make yourself available even when your tank is empty, your relationship has longevity.
Scrolling through social media is a mindless dopamine hit. In the grand scheme of things, it means nothing.
So when your significant other just needs to ramble about how terrible her boss is, put the phone down and focus on what she has to say.
6. A Man Who Accepts Her For Who She Is
Many men naively believe that they can force their partners to change. They think that, without enough pressure, they can mold their significant other into the woman they’d like her to be.
Sorry, but it’s not going to happen. I hate to be the one to be the one to break this to you, but change can only happen from within.
This is why we’re so selective about who we let join our program. We’re only interested in working with serious men who are serious about self-improvement.
In other words, we only work with people who want to change.
Many people say they want to change, but very few people can act.
So do yourself a favor: Don’t believe you can mold your girlfriend into something she’s not. Accept her for who she is, or find someone who better suits your liking.
No one — not even you — likes feeling judged. No one wants to feel like they’re not good enough for someone else’s standards.
How would you feel if your partner pressured you to change something about yourself? You probably wouldn’t like it at all.
In fact, you might even begin to resent your partner for pressuring you. And once that happens, your relationship is on a steady downward spiral.
So, keep things simple. Only date women you can accept for who they are.
No one is perfect, but certain people are more compatible than others. Find a woman who is perfect for you, and the rest will fall into line naturally.
7. Remember That Some Women Prefer An Older Man
If you’re reading this and you’re in your mid or late 30s (or even older), don’t think women in their early 30s are done with you.
There’s a long list of reasons why women like older men, but it generally comes down to providing more emotional maturity, greater stability, and more diverse experiences.
Of course, none of this necessarily requires more life experience; it’s usually a matter of mindset and effort.
You can be 31 and more mature than a guy in his 40s. You can be 45 and still act like a 25-year-old. It all comes down to the man and his mindset.
So, just be aware of the fact that women in this age group are usually sick and tired of immaturity. They’ve been there and done that, and now they want a man who’s, well, a man.
Leave the frat-house behavior behind you and adopt a more mature persona. It doesn’t matter what your actual age is, just that you carry yourself as a man, not a boy.
And if you are more seasoned, use this to your advantage. Lean into the wisdom that comes with age and utilize it to create a unique dating experience.
8. A Man Who Isn’t Going To Add To Her Stress
Our stress level often increases with every passing decade. In our 20s, we say we wish we were teenagers again. In our 30s, we long for our 20s once more. And so on, and so on.
One thing most people would rather avoid is someone who is going to add to their stress as they get older.
We have a certain tolerance for petty nonsense when we’re young, but that quickly dissipates with age.
Don’t be a man who plays games with women’s feelings. Don’t be overly needy, petty, or argumentative. Be a good guy, and women will respect you for it.
Despite what popular media might tell you, chivalry is not — and never will be — dead.
Being a source of comfort and stability in a woman’s life is incredibly valuable to her. Women will appreciate it if you can be calm amid chaos and remain grounded while everyone else is losing their heads.
For that matter, everyone in your life will appreciate you. These are the traits that leaders, that alpha males, are made of.
9. A Man Who Mastered The Art Of Intimacy
At this stage in your life, you have no good excuse for not knowing how to satisfy a woman in the bedroom.
You need to be open to learning and exploring what works and what doesn’t. Yes, the physical aspect is important, but there’s a subtle art to intimacy that you must master.
And this has never been more apparent than when you’re in your 30s. A man who ensures sex is mutually enjoyable creates an atmosphere that clearly shows a woman that she is valued.
Trust me, most men don’t pay nearly enough attention to this as they should, and a bit of effort will take you a long way in helping you stand out.
Try new things. Perfect the things you already do well. Adapt, and learn how to stand out.
That’s how you create a one-of-a-kind experience that will resonate on a deeper level.
Emotional intelligence and physical awareness are fine arts that take time to master and that we can teach you more about in our professional coaching program.
Remember that the dynamics have changed; women will expect more from you now. It’s up to you to rise to the occasion.
10. A Man Who Knows When To Ask For Help
It’s just a fact: Men can be stubborn.
Think of any older male relative in your family — your father, grandfather, or uncle — and you probably know a man who is too stubborn for his own good.
Don’t be that type of guy. You can still be a strong, stoic man and ask for help when needed.
There’s a fine line between bottling up emotions and being too emotional. You need to strike a balance and recognize that seeking help, assistance, or advice is a sign of wisdom — not weakness.
When women see a man who can humbly acknowledge when he needs help, it reflects a secure sense of self.
You always want to have different perspectives on life’s challenges. No matter how smart you may think you are, we are all human and lack knowledge in certain areas.
That’s why you must never be afraid to ask for another person’s input — especially your partner’s.
Besides, you want a romantic relationship that is built on mutual respect. You should not have to shoulder all of life’s burdens alone.
It’s easy to put up a front and act like you have it all figured out; it’s hard to acknowledge that you don’t have all the answers and need help occasionally.
Takeaways: Embracing Romance In Your 30s (And Beyond)
If you’re struggling to foster a successful romantic relationship, a professional coaching program like the one offered at Knowledge for Men can provide the guidance you need.
Every man’s situation is unique and provides unique challenges. That’s why the best solution is a program like ours that can offer advice catered to your unique needs.
And that’s exactly what my team and I specialize in. Collectively, we have decades of experience under our belt. Our shared wisdom provides the insight needed to tackle any challenge.
No matter your situation, we have the wisdom needed to guide you on your way. This community of strong, like-minded men has faced the same issues and challenges you face today.
There’s no need to “learn things the hard way” when you can tap into our collective wisdom to guide you.
The journey will take work. And it will be challenging — probably one of the most difficult things you’ve ever faced. But in the end, if you have the strength to persevere, the results can be life-changing.
Our coaching program has been the defining moment in many men’s lives. If you want to make a change for the better, leave the past behind for good, and embrace a future filled with unlimited potential, this is where you do it.
Do you have what it takes?