[Interview] Todd Valentine: How to Attract Your Dream Girl and Build Your Best Life

If you’ve ever wanted to learn how to effortlessly attract the women you want and build the life and business of your dreams, my interview with Todd Valentine will help you do it.

During our discussion, Todd and I dive deep into the mechanics of attraction and seduction and we’ll give you actionable tactics to help you meet the woman (or women) of your dreams and build an unbelievable life.

Let’s dive in.

Who is Todd Valentine?

While Todd Valentine finished his final year as an undergraduate university mechanical engineering student at Union College in Albany, New York, he decided to enroll in Real Social Dynamics Live Programs.

After participating in several Real Social Dynamics programs, Todd took time off from university to move into the Project Hollywood Mansion, and he soon proved he was very quick learner. Being so dedicated to the company, Todd was given the nickname Xaneus and was invited to enroll in the Executive Coach training program.

As a player in an international amateur soccer league, a skilled martial artist, and avid participant in chess and cross country events, Todd focuses his lifestyle on developing a strong balanced focus between maintaining a high level of health and building strong relationships.

Today, Todd Valentine focuses on helping men grow into the strongest versions of themselves and teaches powerful personal development principles that will help any man live his best life.

Todd Valentine’s Favorite Success Quote

“I can accept failing, but I can’t accept not trying.” – Michael Jordan

Key Points from My Interview with Todd Valentine

1. Women Are Just Like Everyone Else

There is something strange that happens inside most men’s head when they see a beautiful woman.

They immediately put her in a position of power where she is this mythical creature unlike anything else in the world.

But the simple fact is that women, even the most beautiful women are just like everyone else. They have the same struggles, doubts, and insecurities as the rest of the world. They worry about paying their bills, the opinions of other people, and their purpose in life. They desire love and connection just like everyone else and, more often than not, they are sick and tired of men who throw themselves at her feet in a desperate attempt to get her into bed. She wants a normal, funny, and down to earth man just like every other woman and to succeed with high-quality women, you must internalize this fact.

She’s a human being just like you. She eats, shits, cries, feels depressed, and orders late-night pizzas to take the edge off a hard week.

When you understand this, you can begin to interact with her like, well…any other human. Your fears, doubts, and insecurities will fade away. You will realize that, despite her beauty, there are millions of other women just as attractive as she is and the real question you should be asking yourself is not, “How can I get her to like me?” but “Other than her physical beauty (which will fade) do I like her?” 

If you want to succeed with women, you need to knock them off the mental pedestal upon which you have placed them. You must put yourself in the driver’s seat and realize that her physical beauty is not enough. Until she has proven that she’s the type of woman you actually want in your life (trust me, “Hot and crazy” is a real thing), she should have no power over you or your emotions whatsoever.

And the sooner you accept this, the sooner you will find the success you desire.

2. Regret the Things that You Have Done, Not the Things You Wish You’d Done 

In life there are only two kinds of regrets.

The regret of doing something and the regret of not doing something.

And at the end of the day, it is better to live a life where you regret making mistakes than a life where you regret not taking action.

At the end of the day, when all is said and done, how do you want to look back on your life?

Do you want to regret not talking to that girl, do you want to regret not starting that business, do you want to regret not living life on your terms?

Or do you want to regret a few bad decisions that ended up hurting yourself or someone else?

Listen, everyone, no matter how amazing or successful they are today, has made big mistakes at some point in their life. And to achieve lasting success and live the life that you truly desire, you must realize that failure is simply a part of the game. It is better to try and fail than never try at all.

Speaking from personal experience, my biggest regrets in life are all things that I did not do. To this day I struggle to remember one risk I took or opportunity I pursued that I regret.

I still remember beautiful women I didn’t talk to and I regret it. But I don’t regret a single instance where I took a chance and got rejected.

So be willing to take a risk. To trust yourself. To fail forward fast. And to trust that, at the end of the day, you will regret the things you didn’t do more than the things you did.

3. Take Pain and Discomfort in the Moment Over Pain in the Long Term

No matter what you want to achieve, whether it is success in business, success with women, or success in your health, it is going to be uncomfortable, it is going to be painful. 

But you have a choice.

You can either embrace the pain and discomfort in the moment or live with the pain and regret of inaction for the rest of your life.

What is more painful, forcing yourself to get better with women and facing rejection? Or doing nothing and living the rest of your life alone or in an unfulfilling relationship?

What is more painful? Quitting your job and struggling financially for a few years until you achieve success? Or being miserable for the rest of your life because you were unwilling to take a chance?

What is more painful? Going to the gym and taking care of your health now? Or the pain and discomfort of sickness and disease later.

I hate to break it to you but life is filled with pain no matter what you do. We live in a world where everyone suffers, no matter how well they play their cards or how intelligent they might be. Pain and discomfort are a ubiquitous part of the human condition.

But you can choose what kind of pain and discomfort your will endure. You can choose to embrace the pain of action…of growth…failure…rejection…and ultimately success. Or you can accept the pain of stagnation. There is no middle ground.

4. Learn to Stimulate Women Emotionally 

If you want to have true success with women, then you need to learn to stimulate their emotions.

Instead of being the bland, boring, vanilla guy who just kisses ass and tells them how beautiful they are, be the guy who challenges them, who creates your own little world with them, and who elicits an emotional response (good or bad) in everyone that they meet.

The world is full of boring people, especially boring men.

Don’t be one of them.

Most men are afraid to show their true colors because they believe other people will think that they’re “weird” or “not normal”. But guess what? That’s exactly what women want. They’re tired of the same boring interactions with the same types of men who use the same boring pick up lines.

They want a man who is exciting. Who makes them feel alive. Who takes them on an adventure and makes them forget about their own boring life…even if it’s just for one night.

Be willing to take risks, to be your authentic self, to be weird and unconventional.

Because when you do, the women you meet will either love the real you or hate it.

And that’s a good thing. Authenticity allows you to quickly filter out the women who aren’t a good fit for your life and spark instant and intense attraction with those who are.

5. Your Weakest Link Will Always Determine Your Results

In business, relationships, and life, your weakest link will always determine your results.

If you are great at sales but terrible at marketing, your business will suffer. If you are great on the phone, but terrible in person, your interactions with women will suffer. If you are great at lifting weights, but get winded walking up the steps, your health will suffer.

Seek out and eradicate the weakest links in your life and you’ll be better for it. Instead of running from your weaknesses, run toward them and go all in on overcoming them.

Because they will ultimately determine your results.

Todd Valentine’s Most Influential Books

Influence by Robert Cialdini

Making People Talk by Bary Farber

The Hustler by Paul Newman

Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

Next Steps

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