13: Jordan Harbinger: Improve Your Social Skills and Relationships with the Power of Giving Value


Jordan Harbinger is an American lawyer turned Social Dynamics expert. He is the owner and co-founder of The Art of Charm, a dating and relationships coaching company, the co-host of The Art of Charm Podcast, a relationship advice and social dynamics talk show, and the co-host of Game On, a Sirius XM Satellite Radio talk show devoted to the art of meeting and attracting women.

Favorite Success Quote

“Fortune favors the bold.” – Virgil

Key Points

1. You’ve Gotta Work Hard 

With books like the “4-Hour Work Week” sweeping the nation by storm, many young men think that entrepreneurship is going to be a breeze.

They imagine that they can just outsource their life and work and sit back on the beach drinking Mai Thais.

But the truth is not so simple.

Success requires hard work.


We live in one of the most competitive times in human history.

It has never been as difficult to break through the noise and become successful than it is today.

And this means you are going to have to work and work damn hard.

So strap in and forget the pipe dream of working four hours a week.

If you want to be successful and make a difference then you are going to need to work harder than you ever did in your corporate job and a helluva lot harder than you ever did in school.

It’s not pretty, it’s not easy to sell, but it is the reality.

2. Learn to Become a Master of Social Skills Not Just Seduction

Lots of men want to become masters of seduction.

And sure, it’s fun to meet lots of women and get laid.

But it’s also incredibly immature and unsustainable.

Real success in life and with women comes from becoming a master of connection and influence.

The most underrated skill in the 21st century is the skill of social dynamics.

If you can persuade others, intelligently present your points, and make other people feel special, there is no limit to what you can achieve in business and relationships.

But you have to drop all of the pick up garbage and start to focus on a holistic approach to social success.

3. Mastering Social Dynamics 

4. Don’t Be Afraid to Go for What You Love 

“You can fail at doing something you hate, so why not take a chance on something that you love” ~ Jim Carey.

No matter what you pursue, there is a chance of failure.

Even the “safe” route of college and a 9-5 corporate job is an extremely volatile and unpredictable path.

So why not go for something that you love?

If job security is a myth and success is not guaranteed doing something that you hate, then why would you do it?

Even though this is one of the most competitive times to be alive, it is also one of the best times to be alive.

There have never been so many opportunities for hustlers and visionaries to take their dreams and turn them into a reality.

So embrace your passion, embrace what you love, and go for it.

If you fail, you fail.

And if you don’t…

Your life will never be the same.

5. Let Go of Materialism 

Many young men want to be successful because they think that money and material possessions will make them happy.

But the truth (according to science) is quite the opposite.

Once you have reached a certain level of financial independence (around $75,000/year) your happiness levels are not drastically increased by buying the nicer car, the fancy watch, or the million dollar mansion.

Instead of focusing on materialistic pursuits, devote yourself to creating a legacy.

If you achieve wealth, use it to make a difference in the world and spend time with the people that you love.

A $75,000 vacation with your friends and family will have a greater ROI than any $75,000 car ever would.

Influential Books

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Influence by Robert Cialdini

What They Don’t Teach You at Harvard Business School by Mark McCormack


Connect with Jordan Harbinger


One Response to 13: Jordan Harbinger: Improve Your Social Skills and Relationships with the Power of Giving Value

  1. Jordan Harbinger December 26, 2013 at 6:04 pm #

    Hey Andrew,

    Thanks so much for having me on the show. It was a blast!