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Johnny happened upon the field of Self Development and dating coaching quite by accident. Having been a touring musician and live music venue manager much of his life, he felt the need to take a break from the music industry and pursued his interests in personal development.
Johnny began educating himself about Social Dynamics and incorporating the concepts he learned into his day-to-day life. Soon after, he began coaching for a small men’s lifestyle development company out of Washington, DC; it was then that he met AJ & Jordan and they sat down to create The Art Of Charm. Johnny is all about creating a strong presentation by allowing your best qualities to shine through, Understanding the true emotion and genuine connection people make with one another is where he finds his inspiration.
Favorite Success Quote
“Ignorance isn’t about what you don’t know it’s about what you won’t know.” – Aron Ra
Key Points
1. Change Your Environment to Change Your Life
If you are struggling to overcome a challenge in your life right now, then one of the first steps that you should take, even before you seek to change yourself, is to change your environment.
There is an old saying that “Environment is stronger than willpower.”
And no statement has ever been truer.
Imagine two scenarios.
In the first, you are trying to get healthy, quit smoking, and cut back on your binge drinking.
But every day when you come home, all of your roommates are in the room, pizza on the table, cigarettes lit, offering you a beer.
You open the pantry and it’s filled with junk food, you open the fridge and it’s bursting with booze, you go to the living room and packets of smokes are lying around everywhere.
How long do you think your willpower will be able to withstand this environment?
Now, let’s imagine that you have the same goal, but you decide to change your environment.
You move into a new apartment, in a new city, with new roommates.
Every morning, one of your roommates comes into your room and pushes you out of bed telling you to get up and come to the gym.
Anytime you bring home junk food, they throw it in the trash.
They all drink, but never in excess and keep only one bottle of wine at the house at any given time.
And smoking? If they ever catch you smelling like a cigarette, you know that they are going to kick your ass so that is out of the question.
Do you see how the right environment can help you achieve your goals more easily?
While the above example might sound a little extreme, the unfortunate reality is that our environment determines our destiny much more than we would like.
And if you want to change your destiny, change your environment.
2. You Don’t Have All the Answers
No matter how smart you are, how much you have achieved, what accolades and awards you have or what you know, you don’t have all the answers.
Period.
You need to realize that what you don’t know can and will hurt you and you must find a way to start intentionally surrounding yourself with people who are smarter than you and educating yourself on topics that are relevant to your goals.
Build a social circle filled with people who are strong in your areas of weakness.
If you are successful financially but weak in your health, go find friends who are struggling with their finances but can help you elevate your physique and energy levels.
Is your love life, as they say in Friends “D.O.A.”, but you know your way around the gym, then find some guys who are great with women but need a kick in their butt when it comes to health.
Realize that you don’t have all of the answers and be humble enough to seek out individuals who can fill in the gaps.
3. Find Something that You Love More than Fear Rejection
Life is hard.
Rejection is hard.
Failure is hard.
But the unfortunate reality of life is that you are going to face rejection, failure, and setbacks on a weekly, if not daily basis.
Since this is just how the world works, you must commit yourself to pursuing something that you love more than fear failure.
You must find something that you love so much that you are willing to accept the rejection, the pain, and the hardships that come with it.
Because if you don’t, you will quit.
You will run when it gets hard and you will not power through to achieve true success.
4. Your Beliefs Determine Your Reality
The lens through which you view the world will determine your reality.
Imagine for a moment, that there are two men out at a nightclub.
They are both young, both good looking, and both well dressed.
At separate time, they both approach the same set of women and ask if they can buy them a drink.
The women say yes to both men.
Now, the first man lacks real self confidence and believes that most women do not like him or find him attractive, and as he walks away he sees the girls giggle.
Because of his beliefs, he falls into a negative pattern of thought and believes that the women are laughing at him because he is a loser or unattractive, or not good enough.
The second man, who has solid self confidence and sees the world through a more positive lens, has the exact same experience, but he smiles to himself as he walks to the bar because he believes that the women are giggling because of how cute and attractive he is.
Regardless of reality, the more positive view you have on life, the more successful you will be and the more doors will open for you.
5. You Must Learn to Cultivate an Abundance Mentality
In the 21st century, there are a limitless number of opportunities just waiting for you to accept.
There is an abundance of beautiful women, there are a plethora of amazing companies to work for, there are countless needs in the marketplace that can be filled by your unique skillsets and passions.
There are more opportunities for success and fulfillment today than there have ever been.
You just have to be willing to find them.
Influential Books
Please Kill Me by Legs Mcneil
Give and Take by Adam Grant
The Art of Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander
