Nearly half of all marriages end in divorce. The average marriage is unhappy and boring. It’s sad.
Who’s to blame for the fact that modern people can’t hold down what is one of the oldest relationships in human history? It’s a complex issue!
Unfortunately, it’s challenging for many men to rebuild the spark in a relationship after marriage. To many men, a happy wife is the most difficult challenge in their life.
However, the framework for building and rebuilding a marriage can be set, and it might not be as complicated as you think.
The key to having a good marriage is to learn what makes a good marriage. To learn how to make your wife happy, learn what makes good relationships.
You have to learn how to build strong relationships that can survive any piece of adversity that’s thrown at them. You have to learn how to fight for your marriage effectively.
If you don’t, you might just become a statistic.
How to Rebuild Your Marriage and Make Your Wife Happy
Most men are blindsided when their wife becomes unhappy.
They don’t know what to do, how the problem was caused, and where to start when it comes to improving the quality of their marriage.
It’s not enough to make time to see her in-laws, avoid speaking in a harsh tone when you’re upset, or pick up the grocery shopping for her. If you want to make your wife happy, you must commit to doing the work for a long time.
This list includes 10 of the best strategies that you can improve your marriage. If you apply these concepts and express love to her the way you know she deserves, you’ll save your marriage. At the very least, you’ll know you’ve done everything possible.
1. Make Time for Time With Your Wife
Married life can become dull and boring.
The saddest thing that happens as relationships grow isn’t just that the people involved in the relationship grow apart.
The saddest thing that happens is that as relationships go on is that the act of quality time is forgotten.
When it comes to expressing love, spending time is one of the most important ways that people can make someone feel valued. Nothing says “I love you” quite like giving up your whole afternoon or evening to be around someone.
What happens in many relationships is that the people in the relationships become content, and they forget the power and significance that time can have.
This isn’t even about “finding her love language”, either. Quality time is a need for everyone, in some regard. You have to learn how much time your wife appreciates, and then you need to make an active effort to spend that quality time with her.
The easiest way to make your partner happy is to spend quality time with them.
2. Go Out of Your Way at Home
If your relationship is like most, you as a man probably don’t do most of the chores. It’s probably your wife who does most of the cooking, cleaning, and home maintenance around your house.
One great way that you can pick up the slack and be a more active participant in your relationship is to just help out with these chores.
And, if you want to go above and beyond, ask your wife how you can do it most effectively.
She’s probably not thrilled about cleaning the kitchen again. You’ll make her day by doing the things that need to be done that she’s usually stuck with.
Contrary to what you feel, it doesn’t make you weak or submissive to clean the kitchen every once in a while, do the grocery shopping, or take on some of the other household chores. It makes you more compassionate and appreciative of her effort.
Acts of service like this should be second nature for you if you’re trying to build a quality relationship that can stand the test of time.
Building a family or a home takes a team, and as a man, you should make an effort to do more than your fair share.
Your wife will see this and appreciate it. She’ll feel special.
3. Ask Her About Her Deepest Desires – and Then Listen to Her Answer
Do you know your wife’s love language? Do you know what kind of music your wife likes?
What about her secret passions and hidden desires? Does your wife feel like her opinion matters when she talks to you?
The best way to make people feel loved is to make them feel seen and heard and then to go even further.
Love is hard. It’s really hard when you ignore the little things.
It can be messy. It can get complicated. If you don’t simplify your world, you’ll get confused.
You’re going to become miserable.
You have to make your best effort to simplify your relationship by getting to know the most complex desires someone might have.
What does she want for the future? What do you want?
Do your desires line up?
Often they do, but we get so sidetracked in our lives that we forget to ask. Communication is key; if your marriage is failing, you must fight for it by improving your communication.
This means initiating communication, doing the work, and most importantly, listening to your wife’s words when she talks to you.
Become a great listener and watch your life change. This might be small for you, but it can be the key to reigniting passion in your life.
4. Tell Her How Much She Means to You
When your relationship is standing on just one or two legs, you might start to feel like it’s time to get defensive and focus on protecting yourself from the possibility of rejection and further distance between you and the woman you love.
A healthy marriage has communication, and if your’s doesn’t, it’s your job as a man to take the lead and show your wife just how important she is.
If the relationship is failing, she likely is isolated and disconnected from you. You can rebuild that connection through honest communication.
You can take her to dinner or by the beach for a walk and talk. If you’re good with words, you can even express your feelings in writing (that’s right, it’s time for some love letters!).
Just make sure your wife knows how important she is to you.
If you don’t, she’s out the door.
You’ll regret this for the rest of your life.
5. Don’t Be Afraid to Pamper Her a Bit
There’s nothing wrong with making your better half feel spoiled now and again.
When it comes to your wife, this should be obvious.
But how much do you pamper someone after you’ve been with them a long time?
The ugly truth is that many people stop doing “the fun parts” of love as early as six months into their relationship. For many people, the honeymoon phase ends, and then romantic love starts to fade into oblivion, never to be seen again.
If you want to make your wife happy, you have to make your wife feel special.
Small gestures for you will go a long way.
Take her to her favorite restaurant for dinner – it doesn’t have to be a special occasion.
Buy her some surprise gifts. Make an effort to rekindle your sexual connection. Cook one of her favorite dishes.
Don’t do it for you. Do it because you love her.
6. Become the Best Version of Yourself
Comfort kills marriages. Being married makes many men lazy.
Don’t allow yourself to become comfortable in your life. If you want to know how to make your wife happy, learn how to act like a man – not a boy.
Women value men who value themselves. If you don’t value yourself, it’s going to be really difficult to be attractive to someone, no matter how long you’ve been with them.
Don’t get “a dad bod” just because you and your wife had a kid. Don’t stop working just because you paid off your mortgage.
Don’t become a person who settles. Be a person who strives. Be a strong person. Live a happy life.
Make yourself a high-value man, and your wife will value you as a husband. She’ll love the fact that you love yourself and put in work on yourself. The value you have for yourself will be reflected in your marriage.
This won’t just inspire her to keep working on herself and your connection, it will also inspire your wife to work with you to rebuild the sense of connection that you and she have been struggling to keep.
When you both are working together to be your best selves, your bond will grow stronger than ever.
7. Act Thoughtfully
What’s something she hates when you do?
If you’re me, it’s leaving the toilet seat up. I’m typical like that.
One easy way that you can become a better man and make your wife happier is to become a man who thinks before he acts.
Don’t act nice solely because you want sex. Don’t act nice because you want her to make you dinner.
Heck, don’t be nice at all. Be kind. Be loving. Be passionate. Be fun.
Your thoughtfulness will be her most pleasant surprise.
Act kind in specific ways that make her feel loved. Think about how to make your wife happy, and then do those things. It’s simple gestures that make your wife happy, but most men let fear hold them back (more on that in a second).
See, when you’re married to someone, you have one big advantage. The advantage is that you know the specific things that make her happy, sad, and most importantly, in love with you.
Act thoughtfully. Act like the man she fell in love with. Make her feel special. Make her feel connected to you.
8. Don’t Hold Back
It’s not easy to rebuild marriages that are dying, but if you give it your all, you won’t have regrets even if it doesn’t work out.
That’s something we have to talk about:
You can’t have any regrets, because they will eat at you. The only thing worse than failing to rebuild a relationship is regretting that you waited as long as you did to try.
Imagine that your relationship died.
How would you feel then? What would you regret?
Do the things that scare you. Initiate physical touch. Make those simple gestures that make her feel happy. Become friends with her friends.
Plus, the longer you wait, the longer you allow your relationship problems to fester and grow more severe. A healthy relationship aims to deconstruct problems long before they fester.
If this is something you’ve been avoiding, there isn’t a better time to start than now.
Think about your marriage as a raft. Each time you fail to listen, forget to spend time with your wife, and or neglect your wife and kids, someone pokes a hole in the raft.
It won’t be long before you are drowning in stress and anxiety.
After that, it won’t be long before you’re sleeping alone
“I do not regret the things I’ve done, but those I did not do.” – Rory Cochrane
9. See a Relationship Professional
It’s okay to admit you don’t know everything there is to know about raising kids, having a healthy marriage, or building a family.
Most people don’t know much at all. By just reading this article, you probably already know more than 95% of men on how to make their wives happy.
Unfortunately, to save your marriage, you might need some outside help.
However, plenty of clinical social workers focus on marriage counseling and relationship matters. Having a personal family therapist might help you get the insight you and your partner need to resolve the most profound issues in your relationship.
Plus, it’s helpful to have a third party look at your situation and give you their take. Relationship experts look at hundreds of long-term relationships and marriages.
If anyone has insight or perspective on how you can build a better marriage, it’s going to be a medical professional specializing in clinical psychology.
Seeing a clinical social worker might make your wife feel like you care enough to make her fall back in love with you.
10. Take a Break
This is the last point on the list because taking a break from a relationship should be a last resort after you’ve already exhausted all the other options on the list.
However, there are times when distance does make the heart grow fonder. For some of you, a break might be the one thing you’ve been missing.
Taking a break gives both parties the time and space to look at their values, their lives, and most importantly, look at the relationship objectively and decide if they think it’s worth saving. If you aren’t all in on trying to save a relationship, it’s not worth saving.
Love is only worth saving when you both want to save it.
It might sound cliche and like I’m trying to get you to quit your relationship, but that’s not it. It takes time to rebuild marriages, and it takes time to determine if the relationship is worth rebuilding.
When you’re completely entrenched in something falling apart, it can be exhausting to determine the right move.
When times get really tough, have the courage and bravery to take a much-needed break.
It might just be your only hope.
I want you to think long and hard about how you will rebuild your marriage.
It’s a long and arduous journey. Each other 10 things I’ve listed above are only pieces of the pie that you will need to bake to rebuild your marriage.
This is a challenge you have before you, and if I’m being honest, I don’t want you to have to go at it alone. If it were me, I wouldn’t want to go at it alone.
No one is expecting you to do anything alone. If anything, it’s the opposite.
That’s why I want to tell you about my exclusive coaching program, led by me and my team of experienced men’s coaches.
See, this program isn’t only going to help you break free from nice guy behaviors, build quality romantic relationships, and become a stronger Grounded Man. It’s also going to provide you with support from both myself and my elite community of men.
If you’re trying to rebuild your marriage, you have to start by rebuilding yourself.
With this program, you’ll be tapped into your own “band of brothers” and you’ll also have access to the best training course for men that exist today, as well as weekly calls with my team of inspiring and determined coaches. There are no boys, no complainers or dabblers, this program is for serious men only.