12 Reasons Why Infidelity Support Groups Work Better Than Therapy

Getting cheated on kind of feels like getting hit by a bus. It feels like your world has been rocked. You can’t trust anyone.

Even if you could, why would you want to? The world feels evil. You feel betrayed, angry, and petrified by your emotions and traumas.

But you can’t think like this.

This resentful way of thinking makes men miserable. Having a partner cheat on you is already hell enough, and you must find a way to keep pushing—a way to keep living.

The best revenge for infidelity is being reborn and persisting in the face of the tragedy of life. To keep fighting, despite your pain.

A support group of men who have experienced the same thing you have could be the best way to do this.

Being in a support group can be a life-changing experience in many different ways.

Today, we’re going to look at the 12 most essential reasons why an infidelity support group can help you become the man you’ve always wanted to be – even after it feels like your life is falling apart.

1. A Support Group Will Teach You How to Stop Living In the Past

One of the most challenging aspects of navigating infidelity within a relationship is its detrimental impact on our relationship habits.

Anxiety, insecurity, and even anger tend to plague individuals, particularly men, who grapple with the aftermath of betrayal.

In seeking support, it becomes apparent that assigning blame to oneself for the past is counterproductive. Instead, a crucial lesson emerges – we must let go of self-blame.

When we encounter relationship traumas, we naturally assume responsibility for them, convincing ourselves that we are destined to endure such painful experiences perpetually. However, this perspective only perpetuates a destructive cycle.

The truth is a bit more optimistic. You’re not doomed to repeat history – so long that you try to learn it.

A support group can be invaluable in your journey toward understanding your personal history, finding meaning amidst the chaos, and ultimately accelerating your healing process.

By actively participating in a support group, you gain the opportunity to gain clarity and insights into your past experiences. It provides a space to make sense of the emotional turmoil and confusion that infidelity often brings.

Through the collective wisdom and shared experiences of fellow group members, you can glean valuable perspectives and strategies for moving forward. This support system becomes a catalyst for propelling you towards a faster path of recovery and growth.

2. A Support Group Helps You Learn to Express Yourself Shamelessly

Unconscious shame makes people do crazy things.

This is more common in men because we have testosterone, which blunts fear and increases our vulnerability to shame.

Men tend to be more susceptible to the fear of shame compared to women, which is precisely why an infidelity support group for men can be of immense significance for personal growth.

Within the confines of a support group, you find yourself embraced by individuals who have weathered similar storms, allowing the feelings of shame, guilt, and self-loathing that may overwhelm you to be acknowledged as part of a shared experience.

The remarkable aspect of such a support group is the realization that grappling with relationship challenges and setbacks is a universal human struggle.

It teaches you that there is no shame in facing these difficulties. Rather, it empowers you to embrace yourself unconditionally, accepting your present circumstances and acknowledging that growth is a continual process.

3. The Support Group Helps You Understand the Causes of Infidelity

When you spend time in a support group focused on healing from infidelity, you will inevitably better understand the causes and consequences of infidelity.

This is obvious: “An infidelity support group helps you understand infidelity,” but people often forget this. We get so focused on healing and development that we forget what causes that healing.

Healing comes from unlearning bad ideas and learning new ones.

Your support group is the perfect place to do this.

4. A Support Group May Be Your Antidote to “Toxic Masculinity”

Another great reason to try an infidelity support group is that this will give you a place to experience all of your emotions – even those you’re not typically supposed to express, like anger, sadness, and anxiety.

Many men go through life feeling like they can’t talk about things unless they’re maintaining a strong sense of bravado and strength, and your support group will allow you to let your guard down a bit.

This will feel weird at first, but you must learn this skill.

You’ve been told to act weak, be submissive, and do what you’re told. It’s time to break free.

If you want long-term emotional growth (the kind of growth you need for better relationships), you must learn how to process and deal with all your emotions – even those less than pretty.

5. A Support Group Will Give You Closure to Move On

When your partner cheats on you, it opens up a wound that takes time to heal.

In an infidelity support group, you learn how to:

  • Forgive
  • Trust people again
  • Process complex emotions
  • Not be angry and resentful of the world because you’ve had a bad experience.

These are essential experiences that most men never learn from their fathers, friends, teachers, and role models.

Being a part of an infidelity support group can give you the support you never knew you didn’t have to make the closure you never knew you needed.

6. A Support Group Gives You a Healthy Emotional Outlet

One of the worst parts about our society is that we demonize anger and sadness and do not allow for healthy expressions of these natural human emotions.

This is especially true for men.

We’re told things like “real men don’t cry” or “real men don’t feel sad” or even (satirically) that “real men don’t eat quiche”! These things are not true – especially if you’re struggling after an instance of infidelity in a relationship.

The problem isn’t that you have emotions; the problem is that you don’t have a place to express your emotions healthfully – like a support group.

Your support group will allow you to let out those negative feelings without feeling judged or shamed.

This is something most men are missing. Being part of a group where shame is not seen as a weakness will empower you to live honestly and authentically in a way you never have before.

7. A Support Group Will Give You a Band of Brothers

If having your partner cheat on you doesn’t make you depressed, the loneliness that follows definitely will.

It’s a bit of an agonizing experience.

You’re blindsided, your life is turned upside-down, and in some cases, you might even lose a family member or a place to live.

It’s craziness.

But that’s one of the great things about a support group. You will have access not just to people who have experienced something similar to you but also to people who want to see you do well.

You’ll make friends, hear stories far more terrifying than your own, and you’ll leave will a new group of friends.

When you’re feeling down, you’ll have a room full of like-minded men to pick you up.

This is how you rebuild your self-esteem, your self-image and learn how to foster healthier relationships in the future.

A good set of friends can change your whole life.

8. A Support Group Will Help You Build Confidence In Yourself to Love Again

Dating again after infidelity in a relationship can be difficult.

You might feel insecure, anxious, and even afraid to reach out and make new connections with people. You’ll learn in the support group that this is normal and that you aren’t alone.

The best part of this is that there is strength in numbers. You and the men you meet in your infidelity support group will all be struggling with the same things when you meet, and over time, your confidence in yourselves and each other will grow. You’ll become stronger, smarter, and more self-aware.

This will give you the building blocks to rebuilding your self-esteem and self-confidence.

From there, there is no telling what you can accomplish.

9. A Support Group Will Teach You New Coping Strategies

One of the best parts about joining a support group is that you will learn a plethora of new information on taking care of yourself and bettering your emotional health after infidelity in a relationship.

Yes, you will learn about meditation, problem-solving, and how to challenge your beliefs about people and relationships that are beginning to hold you back, but you’ll learn a lot more than that.


Because you’ll have access to a group of people who are interested in the same thing that you are, but these people are different from you.

They have different experiences, different traumas, and different coping mechanisms.

A support group gives you access to several entirely new worldviews in one session.

What works for one friend might not work for another, and what works for someone else might not work for you.

The support group gives you more minds to bounce ideas off of, and this will help you all grow faster and healthier.

10. Your Infidelity Support Group Will Help You Navigate the Complexities of Infidelity

The complicated part about infidelity is that relationships are, well, complicated.

Your relationship might not be identical to someone else’s.

Maybe you have kids. Maybe you have a house.

Maybe you want to forgive her for what happened, and you just need someone to teach you how.

When you talk to a normal therapist in a one-on-one setting, you may not get the answers you need. You might just get whatever answer that person felt like they were getting that day.

Being in a support group will give you access to more people than simply seeing a therapist or talking to a friend. You might have an experience and have no idea where to turn. You might have no friends who have been in your shoes.

An infidelity-focused support group gives you an entire room full of people to bounce ideas off of.

11. A Support Group Will Train Your Emotional Intelligence

Think of the support group kind of like the gym, but for emotions.

Instead of improving your fitness and building your muscles, the support group is designed for building your emotional intelligence, also known as your emotional quotient or “EQ.”

If you want to have better relationships, you must spend time focusing on your EQ.

If you’re like me, you didn’t have someone to teach you how to build emotional intelligence growing up. You had to figure things out for yourself.

Unfortunately, this lack of emotional intelligence can be one of the deep-seated causes of infidelity in relationships.

If your partner feels like they can’t connect with you emotionally, they are more likely to cheat, have an affair, or leave you.

Continuing with our gym metaphor, it’s important to know that some people will naturally improve their EQ better than others. In the same way, some people will naturally get stronger faster than others; everyone is different.

For example, it can be harder to improve your emotional intelligence if you have a history of trauma, abuse, or mental health issues. Your support group will help you realize this and help you move forward – despite all the odds.

12. A Support Group Will Help You Living a Desperate Life

One terrifying thing that can happen after infidelity is that you won’t feel anything.

You’ll be disconnected from reality, blocking out your emotions and drowning yourself in other things to distract yourself from your terrible relationship.

This happens because you start blocking out uncomfortable emotions, but you can’t get rid of the feelings of sadness, anxiety, and anger that you are feeling toward your partner. Oftentimes, people with this experience block out their emotions so much that they never actually leave the relationships that are causing them to dissociate.

This could lead to more serious conditions, like Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder (PTSD), or bad habits like drinking, drugs, or pornography addiction.

An infidelity support group will have a leader who recognizes these signs and symptoms, even when you don’t recognize them.

This is how you start to unravel bad habits and build better ones.

A life full of self-sabotaging habits is not a life. It’s a slow death.

Your coaches and fellow group members want you to live the life you’ve always wanted to. We will show you the way.


Some men never recover after infidelity in their relationships.

The wounds their partners create in them slowly bleed and bleed, and eventually, they bleed out.

These men are left with holes in their hearts, resentment for the world, and anger toward women. This is a terrible way to live your life.

What can save men who experience infidelity is a group of men who all want to have a similar change in their lives. A band of brothers oriented around a similar goal.

What can truly save men who experience infidelity in a relationship is a good infidelity support group.

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