Where have all the great men gone?
Have you ever gotten the feeling that your life just isn’t what you thought it would be? Ever sat alone and thought about all of the glorious things you wanted to be as a kid… and wondered why it never happened?
Even now, do you feel unsatisfied, frustrated and tired of the monotony of life… yet know that you could be so much more if you only had the chance?
“The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation.”
Look around you – this is as true now as it was back then… dammit!
How many men sit in traffic absent-mindedly listening to some ridiculous song on the radio wondering exactly what the hell happened to my life?
He longed to…
- Travel the world with his beauty but instead got 2 weeks’ vacation and settled for Betty from accounting.
- Discover his mission in life, but he’s stuck between which lousy 401k gives him enough pennies to scrape by on when he’s old and grey.
- Stand for meaning and purpose… instead he’s imprisoned in a square building on the other side of town.
- Fight the noble battle yet somehow ended up with a black lazy boy couch with cup holders for his favorite beer while he watches Connor McGregor in the octagon.
- Create wealth after reading Rich Dad Poor Dad and he got himself debt and endless payment plans and barely keeps his nose above water.
He did everything right and wanted his life to be this amazing adventure but here he sits…. stewing in traffic on the 101 freeway living a life of quiet desperation.
There is a serious problem here that men aren’t talking about. Instead we numb ourselves with instant gratification activities and mindless entertainments of the 21st century.
Where did all the powerful men go?
Why is it that the males are depicted today as Homer Simpson, Al Bundy, and Peter Griffon…?
Men who drink endlessly, do drugs and degrade women.
Is this what we choose to glorify and have slowly become???
Where are the Julius Caesars…Winston Churchills… the Abraham Lincolns?
Did you know:
The suicide rate for men is 3.5x higher than that of women?
The divorce rate hovers above 58% (mostly initiated by women leaving men devastated and hopeless with no support system to recover)?
Men are 3x more likely to become alcohol and drug dependent – masking their problems rather than facing and solving them?
You’d think men would reach out for help, but they are less likely to reach out for support than women.
Let’s be clear.
Men’s coaching does not mean you are weak or incapable of doing something yourself.
Coaching allows you to grow faster by leveraging the guidance of someone with the perspective, experience and know how to get you where you desire to be.
Someone to hold you accountable – to give it to you straight. To finally free you of the bullshit story you’ve been feeding yourself all these years…
Let’s be honest here:
Luke wouldn’t be Luke without Obi Wan…
Marcus Aurelius wouldn’t be Marcus without Epictetus…
Tony Robbins wouldn’t be Tony without Jim Rohn…
And you’re crazy to think you’re any different.
If you want to be great – then you need help getting there.
Men more than ever need coaches to guide them to unleash their greatness in their life, business and relationships.
Let’s dive into the 10 reasons why a men’s coach empowers you today.
1. You need someone to talk to who doesn’t just listen but helps you step the hell up
Therapists, counselors and psychiatrists will listen to you, give you drugs, and put you in a circle of other sobbing individuals who have not recovered from their pain.
They don’t stand for your greatness, values or challenge you to become the strongest version of yourself. They allow you to play small and hide.
Truthfully you know within minutes of meeting your therapist, counselor or psychiatrist that they aren’t going to work. That they won’t get through to you and you secretly like it because you can keep doing what you’ve always done.
You still pay for it because it feels like you’re “trying” something and it’s now their fault you’re not getting better.
A men’s coach spots your bullshit before you open your mouth and you aren’t able to hide and play small any longer. You have to step up with your coach whereas therapists, counselors and psychologists let you get away with your bullshit, often childish behaviors that prevent you from moving forward in life.
Here’s one way to look at it:
Counseling: let’s solve a short term issue and if I can’t solve it then I’ll refer you to one of the options below…
Therapy: Let’s dig into your past, live there and find 10 other issues we should also now focus on and once in a blue moon I’ll tell you what you need to do with zero accountability or a clear plan of action.
Psychiatry: let’s get you hooked on this new drug and see if it works, if not I’ve got another drug for you – you’re actually a science experiment for these new drugs by the way – so don’t worry and just sign here!
Men’s coach: Let’s move forward and grow from this challenge. I understand exactly where you’re coming from and I feel the pain you feel and have solved it for myself and many others without any drugs, taking years or costing you a fortune in healthcare.
Men’s coaches listen deeply, speak in truths and are more direct and action oriented to help you get a specific result so you can move forward and grow.
In this process you learn that your past challenges if overcome are exactly what makes you a strong grounded man after all.
Men’s coaches won’t let you hide from your challenges instead you’ll face them head on and grow stronger as a result.
Hey, I didn’t say creating the life you want was going to be easy… yet it is worth it.
2. You need someone other than your clueless friends and family to discuss women, dating and relationships.
Men’s coaches specialize in relationships in many ways. The masculine feminine dynamic is likely why they became men’s coaches in the first place. Often many men’s coaches have backgrounds in pick up, dating and seduction.
However, they’ve evolved into a healthier and more mature form of supporting men.
Your coach is to relationships what a Navy SEAL is to combat.
If the intense satisfaction that comes from a deeper level of intimacy with women is what you want… you ain’t gonna get it by listening to your single friend whose biggest accomplishment is his porn library.
Your mother thinks you’re the best man alive yet doesn’t understand there’s also billions of other men out there competing for the same woman… and their mothers saying the same thing.
Other women just tell you to be yourself and be nice to women and the right one will come along – eventually. Yet nothing is working and time is only going by.
A men’s coach would first start with building up your confidence and self-love.
Then you identify your image of an “ideal” woman and relationship.
And what are you currently doing to meet this type of woman? Where are you hanging out? Is your ideal woman at these places?
Is your dream woman really attracted to who you are and your lifestyle?
Often men have a vision of who they want to be with but are searching for her in all the wrong places.
That’s if they’re searching at all.
This just piles on the rejection and erodes your confidence.
It’s like trying to sell ice to skims… why the hell would they want it? Instead you need to sell your deliciously cool and satisfying ice on the sun baked beaches of Southern California!
Get the idea?
A men’s coach will work with you from the inside out and turn your dating life or existing relationship into something extraordinary. Your coach achieves this with proven practices that have proven to work for many men before you.
You don’t have to struggle being single or in a relationship any longer with a men’s coach.
3. Heavy Masculine Accountability
When a strong grounded man with absolute conviction asks you to do something – you do it.
Letting a men’s coach down is very different from letting your counselor down. There is a deeper respect and bond that’s developed with your men’s coach. It’s the masculine nature to be a man of your word. If you tell a strong grounded man you’ll do something and don’t – you’re breaking your word and bond with your coach.
It’s not about the money with the men’s coach it’s about being a man of integrity.
If your word means nothing… then are you really a man?
When a man is held accountable by someone he deeply respects then he focuses harder and takes the right actions and gets positive and satisfying results.
You can’t hide.
You can’t play small.
You can’t live with the excuses that you’ve used for decades anymore.
The pain you feel when you let down someone you greatly respect will propel you into action. It’s a big reality check for you in that moment where your men’s coach is not buying into your little bullshit story.
You’ll be thinking in the back of your head, “He’s right. I can’t believe I’ve gotten away with this for this long and it’s time to change.”
“If you hang out with chickens, you’re going to cluck and if you hang out with eagles, you’re going to fly.” – Steve Maraboli
Having a men’s coach doesn’t make you weak or incapable. It makes you smart for investing in yourself with a person who will help you become great.
Any coward can shy away from help because he’s afraid to look foolish… it’s the truly strong and brave man who stands up and asks for a guiding hand.
4. You did not have strong masculine role model(s) growing up
Maybe your father wasn’t the best role model for you and therefore you lack a masculine identity.
This isn’t a put down of your father – he likely did the best he could with what he was given from his father.
· You may struggle with how to treat women (especially attractive women)…
· You may struggle standing up for yourself…
· You may avoid or put off conflicts so as not to “upset” anyone or cause any problems…
· This prevents you from getting your needs met as a man and often hides this deep frustration inside– where sometimes it uncontrollably explodes.
· You are a nice guy who does things in order to get people to like you. You don’t stand up for your own values because others’ approval is more important.
Men who experience this lean towards a more feminine nature which is beneficial at times. However, to really be a great man, that masculine energy must be there too.
Balancing both the masculine and feminine energies are crucial.
It is more important than ever for you to have that masculine energy to get to the next level in your life, business and relationships.
The other side of this coin is the over-achiever guy. These men hustle hard to mask their pain and validate themselves through external success in work, creating wealth and buying flashy things like a house, car or name brand clothes. It can be a never ending cycle for decades to prove to others that you are worthy of respect, love and connection.
There’s nothing wrong with achievement – so long as you achieve for yourself and not to simply win the approval of others.
With a men’s coach you have someone with real backbone to boost your masculinity and increase your confidence. You learn the right ways to get your needs met, speak your truth, and be respected by others and most importantly… yourself.
5. You give away your masculine power to women.
Woody Allen said, “90% of success is showing up.”
The problem is real men aren’t showing up in the world for women!
Men have lost the beauty of their masculine edge and women are starving for it.
When you look at an attractive woman you immediately start thinking of what it would be like to have sex with her. In your conversations and interactions you’re constantly checking out her boobs, legs, butt and hips.
You’re not present with her at all – and she knows this.
You’re trying to “get” something from her rather than trying to build something with her.
She could tell you to do something and without question you would bend over backwards for her.
This behavior actually puts you at the mercy of women.
She owns you – and loses all respect for you.
She treats you like a little boy because that’s exactly how you’re acting. A physically big man with no inner backbone (one of the biggest turn offs to women).
The whole time she’s confused why you do this to yourself but of course she’ll happily take advantage of this opportunity to treat you like a boy – because that is what you’re telling her to do unconsciously.
Working with a men’s coach helps you regain your masculine power and become more respected and attractive to women.
A men’s coach not only helps you keep your masculine power… you multiply it as well.
6. You are a leaf in the wind without a purpose
You’re lost and have no idea what you’re really doing or WHY you’re doing it.
You follow the crowd aimlessly moving through life unconsciously.
You haven’t taken a step back and looked inward and asked yourself “what do I really want as a man in all aspects of my life?”
Because you haven’t done this you grind Monday through Friday and live for the weekends.
Vacations are your escape and alcohol and your drug of choice becomes your remedy to reduce the pain of not knowing who you are or where you’re going in life.
You tend to spend money on lavish external things like cars, clothes, and needless household items in the hopes of finding some tiny spurt of happiness – Because it’s artificial and superficial, it goes away the following week so you’re left in an endless cycle of consumption.
Every man needs a fight. Not physical, but a mission to fight for
“Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it.” – Gautama Buddha
Something that’s greater than yourself and possibly noble enough that it’s worth dying for.
A men’s coach empowers you to find your path and purpose and give your life more meaning. Now you wake up excited for the day enjoying higher levels of clarity, drive and direction.
Life starts here.
7. The freedom to express oneself fully.
At the core of every man is the desire to be free yet ironically men often confine themselves to a cage.
You’ve locked your emotions up and pretend to be a “strong man” when you’re hurting inside and barely holding it together.
Or maybe even worse you’re completely unaware of this – and you don’t even feel this pain anymore since it’s been locked away in a cage for so long.
You bought into the story that big boys don’t show emotion or even cry (a completely human emotion).
When a man does this he shuts down a piece of his heart and becomes less human and more of a robot programmed by society.
Crying is a natural thing humans do no different than going to the john. If you don’t urinate you’re in pain. When you urinate the pain is gone – it’s that simple.
It’s a release that is a necessary requirement for healthy living.
“Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.” – Jim Morrison
Emotionally handicap men become distant, angry, frustrated and apathetic.
Friendships and relationships feel more and more like chores. When someone asks how you’re doing you reply with superficial answers to avoid expressing how you really feel.
“I’m alright, good, great, fine”…
When a man is disconnected from his heart, he becomes disconnected from the rest of the world.
A men’s coach makes you emotionally strong so you can connect deeply with other men and women and participate in the joys of connection and love to the fullest.
Your men’s coach unlocks your emotional cage so you finally experience what true freedom really means.
8. Going through life without close male friends.
I don’t mean your boys you throw back beers and shots of tequila with every weekend but men who you can share your truth with.
Often men go their entire lives without close male friends who are supportive – which means they are living on the surface layer and going through life alone.
Men are typically scared to approach the male friends they do have in fear of judgement or thinking they’ll just say “Come on, just be a man!” or something that doesn’t help at all.
Show me a man who can’t connect with another man and I’ll show you a sad, borderline depressed and lonely man.
Humans need to connect at a deep level to be emotionally free and healthy.
Women do it more than men do as it’s more accepted in society, yet men still need to do it as well.
And it’s no wonder that according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention the suicide rate for men is 3.5x higher than women.
This is a very real social problem that people aren’t talking about and men aren’t even aware of themselves.
Do you have men in your life that you can share the good, the bad and the ugly with who will listen and support you?
Can you be vulnerable and share what’s really going on with other men without being scrutinized?
Men who live in the world of truths tend to be more connected to the world and those around them and find more joy, happiness and fulfillment.
9. You believe being a “strong” man means you can’t ask for help.
We’ve been taught to believe that what makes you a man is your ability to figure things out on your own.
The ego is the enemy here and it’s quite obvious and women get a good laugh out of it.
You don’t want to ask for help at the cost of looking “weak” so you’d rather spend more money, time and energy trying to figure something out on your own rather than just asking for help from someone who has an answer and more experience than you do.
· How is a white belt ever supposed to become a black belt without asking for help…?
· How is a student ever supposed to master the subject without asking questions…?
· How could rocky face Apollo Creed without asking for Mic’s help…?
What makes you a strong man is your ability to admit that you can’t do it alone, you don’t know everything – and even if you could or did, how boring would that be to get to the top of a hill and find yourself all alone.
Wouldn’t you want to celebrate with others who have supported you all along?
Imagine celebrating your 50th birthday and you have people canceling last minute and very few people show up to celebrate your life with you…
Asking for help from a men’s coach isn’t a sign of weakness… your coach won’t judge or belittle you… you get a partner with only your best interest at heart and tap into the true power that lies within.
10. You are playing too small and you know it – but no one can tell.
You tell yourself as long as I’m keeping up with the jones’ then who am I to try and push for more.
You played big for a period of time and reached a level of stability and comfort… then just stopped.
The problem is that nothing is happening in your life. Life feels like Groundhog Day – You’ve become very complacent even if you are doing well by societies standards. You’ve stopped giving it your all.
When you play small you stop growing – and as Tony Robbins says “if you aren’t growing you’re dying”.
There is less gusto, fight and vigor in a man when he’s playing small. Deep down inside the man loses respect for himself and often falls victim to the quick hits of instant gratification that society offers alcohol, drugs, entertainment to keep his mind occupied.
This is never allowed with a men’s coach.
In fact, you’ll hate your men’s coach at times because he pushes you to do things you never thought you’d do. On the other hand… you experience a life you never thought you could.
You may say “Screw him! I hate that guy and I’m not doing this anymore!
But you’ll come to realize that you’re just retreating back into old habits and you know he’s right. That you know he stands for your greatness and is only supporting you.
Your excuses won’t work with him so you’ll have no other option but to take appropriate action, be consistent and reap the benefits of becoming a stronger grounded man. A man who plays harder and wins bigger!
When a man plays harder he is more masculine, attractive and respected by others around him and most importantly himself.
There’s a new breed of coaches that stand for men. I’ve yet to meet a woman who wasn’t excited and supportive of men who take advantage of a coach.
Men’s Coaches give men the power to become stronger grounded men so they enjoy more happiness, love and freedom in their lives, businesses and relationships.
Men’s coaches help men and women benefit too because they get to be with a strong grounded man. A man focused on his purpose, fighting his fight, a lover of women and a man of integrity.
There is a powerful man deep inside of you that has been suppressed for far too long.
So what are you going to do about it? Stick your head in the sand and convince yourself that all of the truths I’ve shared is just a bunch of new age BS…?
…or square your shoulders, set your jaw and do the hardest and most rewarding thing… ask for guidance and become the hero you know you are!
It’s time to lead.
This is a call to all men – to be great!
To rise up and shatter the bonds society has trapped us in.
From this point forward you are going to stand on this earth as a strong grounded man.
We can and will do better.
It isn’t too late to take a stand in our own lives and be the hero of our own adventure once again.
Yes it is a scary journey but you don’t have to do it alone. There are men out there who will stand for your greatness and help you rise.
Are you ready to unleash the powerful man inside you and rise to the greatness you deserve?
Click this link to learn more about my men’s coaching programs: www.kfmcoach.com
If you found this article impactful on your journey and think it could help another man please share with the social sharing buttons on the left on desktop or below on mobile! – Andrew