89: Ray Doktor: Unleashing the Masculine

Ray Doktor, Psy. D. has received a bachelor’s degree in human behavior, a master’s degree in counseling psychology and a doctorate in clinical psychology. He has also has been given techniques to teach relationship communication, body language, human sexuality, and spiritual psychology. His clinical training included hypnotherapy, gestalt therapy, narrative therapy, EMDR, NLP, and somatic experience.

Working as a relationship coach, Dr. Ray specializes in helping singles, couples to attract passionate, loving, and healthy relationships. This includes marriage counseling and pre-marriage, healing a past hurtful relationship, and transitioning into dating again. His intention is to help you create more loving and joyful experiences in all relationships.

Favorite Success Quote

“Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about. Ideas, language, even the phrase each other doesn’t make any sense.” – Rumi

Key Points

1. You Must Break out of Survival Mode 

When you are focused on surviving, you cannot thrive.

When all you can think about is paying the next bill, getting out of debt, or how to make it through the week, you are not focused on the things that really matter to you or how you can maximize your life.

The first step to truly living an epic life, to unleashing your masculine energy onto the world is to get out of survival mode.

Get out of debt, stash away savings, and break out of the survival mode that you have been stuck in.

Do what you need to do to alleviate the stress and overwhelm that is clouding your mind and preventing you from embracing your passions and truly unleashing yourself onto the world.

Get out of surviving so that you can step into thriving.

2. Learn to Laugh at Yourself 

Look, life is too darn short.

It just is.

We never know when our last day is or what tomorrow will bring.

And so many men take life too darn seriously.

Just relax!

Take a deep breath, laugh, and live a little.

You only get one shot at this thing called life, so you might as well enjoy it.

3. You Must Continue to Grow 

As a man, you must realize that you have never “arrived”.

You have never achieved success, you have never finished, and you are never done until you die.

Life is a journey of continual growth and self-improvement, and the second that you stop growing, you are dying.

Plain and simple.

If you want to embrace your masculine, you must accept that there is no destination except for death.

All of your goals are just stepping stones to the next goal, to the next challenge, to the next opportunity to grow.

Life is about constant and never-ending improvement, so learn to enjoy the ride because it’s all there is.

4. Accept that Everything Is Exactly How it Should Be

You can’t change the past.

What is done is done and fretting about what has happened will sabotage what is happening right now.

Everything in your life, every mistake, every failure, and every success has lead you to this exact moment.

And this moment is exactly as it should be.

Realize that you are exactly where you are meant to be. The events in your life have happened for a reason.

You cannot control that which has already passed. All that you can do is decide what you will do with the time that has been given to you right now.

Stop living in the past, break out of your old routines, and dive into life right now. 

5. You Are Enough Now 

In this very second, as you are reading these words… you are enough.

You are enough to achieve all that you want to achieve. You are enough to live the life that you desire. But more importantly, you are enough to bring love and joy into someone’s life and change the world one person at a time.

As men, it’s easy to beat ourselves up and complain about all the things that we feel inadequate to face.

But you must realize that you have everything that you need inside of you.

You have the power to develop any habit, skill, or character trait necessary to achieve your dreams.

You have the power to be a light in a dark world and to love others when you don’t feel like it.

You are enough.

You are enough for your dreams, enough for your family,  and enough for the world.

So start acting like it.

Influential Books

The Developing Mind by Daniel Siegel

The Biology of Belief By Bruce

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

The Tao te Ching by Lao Tzu

Connect with Ray Doktor


One Response to 89: Ray Doktor: Unleashing the Masculine

  1. TarzanWannaBe September 23, 2014 at 10:01 am #

    Ohmmm my gawd. Lot’s of crunchy granola here.