Few things will impact your life more than the balance of your confidence account.
If you are confident in yourself and your abilities, you will be able to attract high-quality relationships, build amazing business partnerships, and tackle your goals with ease.
If you doubt yourself, then you will fail… Period.
Here are 9 easy habits that will help you double your confidence in 45 days.
1. Take Charge of Your State
“The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.” – Winston Churchill
Few things will impact your confidence more than how you show up in the world physically.
Tony Robbins refers to this as being able to maintain your peak state.
Now before you go scoffing, shaking your head, and laughing at the computer screen, let me clarify.
Peak state is not about smiling whenever your life sucks and putting a fist in the air and cheering when you get devastating and life altering news.
Maintaining a peak state is simply having the ability to control your emotions in a given situation by consciously controlling your physiology, language, and thoughts.
If you find yourself in a bad mood, irritated or frustrated throughout the day use these techniques to get back to your peak state.
Change Your Physiology
The easiest way to change your state and instantly increase your confidence is to change your physiology.
Right now I want to you to make a mental note of how you are showing up in the world.
Are you sitting? Standing? Laying in bed?
What about your posture? Are your shoulders slumped or is your chest pressed out? How are you breathing? Is it slow and shallow or deep and rhythmic?
Did you know that, according to many popular studies, your posture can directly influence your mood, social standing, and even your hormonal balance?
If you sit around with slumped shoulders, bad posture, and your head down, not only will you feel less confident, but you will experience a drop in testosterone levels and a spike in cortisol.
On the other hand, if you maintain powerful posture, keep your shoulders spread wide, your head up, and your breath deep, you can actually lower cortisol levels and increase your testosterone by a significant percentage!
So next time you start to feel depressed, anxious, or unconfident, get up and change your state.
Put your hands up in a “V”, breathe loudly and deeply, and go for a 10 minute walk where you swing your arms like McGregor.
Practice Gratitude
If you’re not in a peak state you are probably focusing on what is wrong with your life instead of what is right.
Maybe you are thinking about what a dick your boss was earlier today, or about how stressed you are with these upcoming bills, or how frustrated you are with your spouse.
Whatever it is… quit focusing on it.
Instead of dwelling on the negative find something you appreciate. It could be the run you took this morning, your dog, your health, or the aroma of that sweet sweet dark roast wafting through the house as you prepare for work.
By practicing gratitude throughout the day you will be more appreciative, happy and thus more confident throughout the day.
Change Your Diet
Sometimes we aren’t in our “peak state” because of what we put in our body. Simply put, eat like crap and you will feel like crap.
Look, I love Five Guys and Taco Bell as much as the next guy, but I know that there’s no chance in hell that I will be running a 5K or doing anything important in my business after I indulge.
I’m not telling you that you can’t ever have junk food again, but I am telling you to be conscious about what you are putting in your body.
Cut out sugar as much as you can and try to eliminate grains if at all possible.
Add superfoods into your diet like salmon, quinoa, blueberries, and avocados.
And always, always, always drink plenty of water.
Once you implement these simple strategies into your life, your confidence and self perception will increase dramatically.
And the best part?
Not only are these tactics easy, but you can get started… Right now!
2. Start Setting Micro Goals and then Crush Them
“Write your goals down in detail and read them every single day. Some goals may entail a list of shorter goals. This will keep your subconscious mind focused on what you want step by step.” – Jack Canfield
If you are like me, then you probably have a long list of big, hairy, audacious goals that you have set for yourself.
And these are great!
But, if you want to build your confidence account, then you must first start by rewiring your brain and teaching yourself that you can actually achieve the goals that you have set for yourself.
And the best way to do this is by setting and crushing micro goals.
When you have a huge project at work or big goal you are trying to accomplish sometimes getting started is the hardest part.
Instead of being intimidated by your big goal make it easy on yourself and set micro goals to build up the momentum and gain confidence with each victory.
The easiest way to crush little goals is to set deadlines every day and week of what you want to accomplish.
Map out the steps you will need to accomplish the task or goal by setting a deadline that creates urgency.
Once you learn to work on small tasks and achieve mini-goals consistently your confidence will soar as you see you can achieve any goal you set in your life.
3. Improve Your Appearance
“Always dress to what is accurate to whom and what you are.” ~ Daymond John
Listen, looks don’t matter as much as people think, but how you present yourself to the world does.
Go buy some nicer clothes, get a tailored suit, whiten your teeth, wash your face and show up in the world making the most of your physical assets. I promise you will feel more confident if you do.
If you aren’t sure where to get started on the highway to handsome, here are a few ideas to help get the ball rolling.
Get a Clean Shave
Next time you have a big date or interview for the promotion you have wanted, treat yourself to a straight razor shave at the barber.
Not only do you feel like James Bond, but having a sharp blade only inches away from your jugular can teach you a thing or two about the brevity of life.
Dress The Part
CEO’s, PGA Tour golfers, and Wall St. guys always dress the part – the confidence usually follows.
When you know you look like Will Smith in Hitch you feel great about yourself and your body language will show to others. A small effort goes a long way and trust me, others will notice.
As the old saying goes, “The clothes make the man.”
Build your confidence by making the effort to take care of yourself every day.
4. Train Your Body for War
“Training for me is a metaphor for life, period. The dedication, determination, desire, work ethic. The great successes and the great failures -I take that into life.” Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
As a man, it’s hard to be confident if you know that every other guy in the room could kick your ass into next Tuesday.
Hit the gym, start boxing, learn some BJJ and train your body for war so that on a subconscious level you know you can handle danger if the unlikely situation arises.
If you want to be a strong, confident man you need to have consistent daily rituals to train like you are about to go to war with Leonidas and the 300 Spartans.
I’m not saying you need to work out four hours a day like the Rock but you need to consistently exercise and practice some sort of combat sport in order to be your most confident self.
This isn’t about machismo or masculinity either. It’s about biology.
On a subconscious level, your 10,000-year-old brain is constantly scanning the environment for threats, and if you are physically weak and incapable, your brain will kick into overdrive.
However, if you have trained your body and practiced controlled violence, then subconsciously, you will be much more relaxed, poised, and able to enjoy life without much care.
5. Do One New Thing that Scares You Each Week
“You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.” – Roy T. Bennett
If you want to 10X your confidence you need to get out of your comfort zone…immediately.
As human beings, we run away from pain, suffering, and rejection. This mechanism is ingrained in our brains from a very early age.
But if we become conscious of this pattern and deliberately do the things that we fear, we will embark on a path of lasting greatness.
Don’t worry, you can change it.
Most men wake up, maybe workout, eat the same foods, make the same meals, and talk to the same people a majority of days.
This monotonous life is not only boring but downright dangerous.
You only get one shot at life. Make the most of it and put yourself out there! Get uncomfortable and grow.
Talk to Strangers
One of the easiest ways to do something scary each week is to simply talk to strangers.
In 2017 people are so distracted and glued to their damn cell phones that it can seem like a massive undertaking just to grab someone’s attention and say hello.
I promise it’s not that big of a deal.
You won’t die, they won’t kill you, and at worse, they’ll give you a single finger salute and walk off.
Even though it might scare you senseless, it’s a risk-free way to quickly become comfortable with the uncomfortable.
Conquer Your Fears
To have high levels of confidence, you must conquer your fears. And the sooner the better.
Scared of public speaking? Sign up for Toastmasters to learn how to speak professionally in front of crowds.
Not only will you conquer your fear of public speaking but you will have more confidence at work, leading a meeting, or coaching a team.
Or maybe you are you scared of heights? Jump out of a plane, this weekend…..Do it!
I hated heights until one drunken night I committed to going skydiving the next day. The hangover got scared away at 10,000 feet, I survived, and my fear is gone.
Next time something scares you don’t avoid it — go straight towards your fear and conquer your fear.
6. Look Yourself in the Mirror and Affirm Your Awesomeness
“By repeating an affirmation over and over again, it becomes embedded in the subconscious mind, and eventually becomes your reality. That is why you need to be careful what you think and believe because that is exactly what you will get.” – Tony Robbins
Affirmations and incantations have been scientifically shown to improve your mindset and train your brain to become more confident.
These are much more effective if they are said out loud as our minds tend to believe what we tell ourselves repeatedly.
Create a list of affirmations that will reaffirm your badassery and make you feel great.
Here are some ones to get you started:
- I am intelligent, confident, and powerful.
- I have more than enough money for what I need.
- I focus only on the positive things in life now.
- I deserve to be healthy, wealthy, and successful.
Print these out and put them next to your mirror so you can regularly read them as part of your morning routine. Read them out loud, look yourself in the mirror, and say each affirmation with confidence.
I’d also recommend reading them each night as well…studies have shown that the last 1-2 hours of your day can have a huge impact on your subconscious mind while you are sleeping.
To get your brain to respond to them more quickly change them into a question form as our brains are always trying to answer the questions we ask ourselves.
7. Do Something that Sucks Every Day
“It’s so easy to be great nowadays, because everyone else is weak. If you have any mental toughness, if you have any fraction of self-discipline. The ability to not want to do it, but still do it. If you can get through to doing things that you hate to do – on the other side is greatness.” – David Goggins
If you want to be more confident, you need to start by developing grit and determination.
Do one thing you hate every day.
After watching David Goggins on a podcast I couldn’t believe how the bad ass ex-Navy Seal inspired me to start challenging myself to new levels.
For me, it’s training for a sprint triathlon next month. It doesn’t sound that bad but I suck at swimming, despise running, and only bike to happy hours.
Training sucks — but I make myself do it every day.
Once I finish the grueling training I always feel like a badass. I know the training sucks but it’ll all be worth it once I cross the finish line.
Did Michael Phelps want to train 12 hours a day in the pool? Absolutely not.
But he trained so much that he set countless Olympic records and gained so much confidence from consistently do something he didn’t want to do every day.
By challenging yourself just enough every single day you will raise your standards and become mentally and physically stronger.
Whether it’s a five-minute cold shower, an hour of weightlifting, or a 3-mile hill run in the rain… Do something you don’t want to do every day and prove to yourself that you have what it takes.
When you suffer you grow and gain confidence throughout the process.
8. Kill Negative Thoughts
“Change your thoughts and you change your world.” – Norman Vincent Peale
Do you want a sure fire and easy way to tank your confidence?
Listen to all of those negative thoughts that enter into your brain (seemingly at the worst times).
The voice that says, “You can’t get that promotion, you don’t deserve that girl, or you will never reach that goal.”
Kill it in its tracks – now!
If you encounter these thoughts – you’re not alone and it isn’t really your fault.
Humans remember negative experiences 5X more than positive ones.
But just because you remember the experience doesn’t mean that you have to dwell in the experience.
The next time you feel doubt or fear replace your negative thought with a positive one through affirmations or meditation (as we will talk about in a second).
If you do this over and over again you will train your mind that you are do not allow negative thoughts. The more you accomplish with these positive thoughts the more your confidence will grow.
Instead of waiting to replace negative thoughts learn how to beat them before they enter your head with these techniques:
Daily Meditation
Meditation provides clarity and gets rid of distractions.
When you add meditation to your morning routine you can filter out all the noise in life and lead to more productive and efficient day.
If you start each day without distraction and become aware of what you want to accomplish you will inevitably crush more of your mini goals and build confidence.
Get The Losers Out of Your Life
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, choose wisely.” – Jim Rohn
If you surround yourself with negative friends or god forbid, live with someone who is negative or pessimistic… good luck growing the balance of your confidence account.
You aren’t able to control the family that you were born into, but you can control the people you spend time with and associate with.
This is going to sting, but if you are serious about increasing your confidence, then you need to get the losers out of your life and start surrounding yourself with the right people who will lift you up and encourage you .
9. Seek Guidance
“A coach is someone who tells you what you don’t want to hear, who has you see what you don’t want to see, so you can be who you have always known what you could be.” – Tom Landry
If you are serious about upgrading your confidence account and doubling or tripling the quality of your life, then the only “Shortcut” that I know of is a men’s coach or personal mentor.
If you really want to increase your confidence and feel like the man you were born to be, then you need someone in your life who can cut through the crap, keep you accountable, and point out the blindspots that you didn’t even know you had.
Coaches can help you get to new levels that you didn’t know were possible. As Michael Jordan said, “A coach is someone that sees beyond your limit and guides you to greatness.”
Final Thoughts
Now it’s your turn.
If you take action on only half of these habits over the next month and a half, I promise that you will seethe balance of your confidence account quickly rising into the stratosphere.
If you take action on all of them? Well, I’ll just go ahead and get out of your way because your confidence is about to launch forward faster than a bullet.
So get out there, master your state, set and crush your goals, get uncomfortable, train your body for war, raise your chest, look at yourself in the mirror, and affirm that badass within.
You’ve got this.
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