I want you to take a minute and think about something: when was the last time you saw your partner lust over you? When was the last time you noticed her truly eyeing you with desire?
Does it feel like a rare sight these days? Are your sexual encounters becoming few and far between? Do you feel like your confidence is starting to wane and that—despite your best efforts—self-doubt is starting to creep into your head?
Does it seem like no matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to ignite that spark of desire in her eyes? Maybe you fear that she’ll leave you or start seeing someone else. Maybe you worry that you’ll be enticed to start cheating in an attempt to fill the void left by your current relationship.
If any of this sounds familiar, it’s time to take action. Because if your relationship isn’t already in serious trouble, it won’t be long until it’s on life support.
This is your opportunity to awaken the alpha within, become the best version of yourself, and cultivate an irresistible magnetism that your partner simply won’t be able to resist. This is about taking your life back into your own hands, building your confidence, and becoming the absolute best version of yourself.
Just understand that this advice is for serious men who are prepared to stare their shortcomings in the eye and confront them head-on. In other words, this is for the men who are ready to conquer their demons and understand that real change doesn’t happen overnight.
Does that sound like you? If so, good—you’re in the right place. And if you follow the tips I’m going to outline below, you’ll be well on your way to becoming a man that your partner simply can’t resist. So, are you ready to dive in?
1. Unleash your inner beast—elevate your fitness routine to godlike levels
I’m going to take a moment to call some of you out…
The majority of men I meet “work out.” The majority of men I meet “go to the gym.” The majority of men I meet think they are in great shape… But only a handful actually are.
Look, the gym is just like anything else in life: if you go there just to inflate your own ego and pretend like you’re being productive, you’re only going to go so far. You can show up at the front doors at six every morning, but if you hardly break a sweat, snap a few selfies, and spend your time bullshitting with the dude manning the front desk, you’re not working really out.
Do you want to know who’s really working out? The dude who goes walks into the gym doesn’t carry his phone with him, doesn’t say two words to anybody, and just does what he has to and walks out the door. You don’t notice him because he’s in and out without making a fuss.
So, if you really want to make yourself more desirable, take a page out of this dude’s book and just shut up and get to work.
Plus, lots of guys are under the impression that the “dad bod” is attractive these days. Bullshit. Maybe for actors like David Harbour, but for the average Joe, it just doesn’t work like that.
But you don’t need to take my word for it. Studies have shown that women—almost without variation—prefer a muscular and toned man. Across a survey of over 150 women, the opinion was literally unanimous: the stronger a man’s body is in appearance, the more attractive he is seen.
So, if you’re getting the impression that your partner isn’t that into you, it could be because she perceives you as physically weak. In other words, if you’re not going to the gym, it’s time to start. And if you are already going, then it’s time to get serious.
2. Unleash the magnetic power of dressing with purpose
If we’re being objective here, men’s clothing is usually vastly more comfortable than women’s clothing. That’s one of the privileges that come with being a man, but the problem is that some guys take it too far and spend their entire lives in loose-fitting shorts and T-shirts.
And if you’re one of those men who like to be comfortable, that’s fine. I like to be comfortable too. But I know when and where I need to look my best, and I would never spend every waking hour walking around like Jeff Bridges in The Big Lebowski.
What’s that, you say? “But dressing up is just not my style.” Well, you might want to consider making it your style.
And again (big surprise), I’m not just making this shit up. A survey conducted by King Allen found that 80% of women found men in a suit more attractive than those who were casually dressed.
It turns out men even feel better wearing a suit. Men’s Warehouse found that the majority of men who wear suits regularly feel more confident, successful, and attractive compared to when they wear more casual clothing.
Now, that’s not to say you have to wear a suit every time you go out with your partner, but you should consciously be trying to impress her. I can almost guarantee she’s doing the same for you, even if you’re not aware of it. So be a good partner and return the favor.
3. Transform your presence with the irresistible power of alpha body language
One time, I had two brothers—three or four years apart in age—walk through my door looking for help. While they each had their own unique problems, I was immediately struck by the younger brother’s completely dejected body language.
This man looked like he had just gotten the crap kicked out of him emotionally—his shoulders were slouched, his chin was in his chest, and he walked without any vitality or charisma whatsoever.
While his brother needed to boost his confidence as well, he looked absolutely regal by comparison.
There is so much to be gained by improving your posture and body language that I can’t emphasize this enough. Plus, it’s one of the easiest things to improve compared to some of the other items on this list. Trust me, once you master your body language, the change can be profound.
For example: if you walk into any corporate setting in America, I guarantee you would be able to pick the CEO out of a lineup without knowing a single thing about the company.
If you had never watched a baseball game in your life, you’d instinctively know which player was the captain of the team just by how he carries himself.
This is true in all walks of life. When you’re in the presence of an alpha, you can just sense it. And women are especially attuned to it.
So, if you want to be the epitome of desire in your partner’s eye, own that alpha energy. I know it’s lurking inside you somewhere—because it’s inside all men. The difference is that only a select few know how to harness it.
If you’re one of the ones who don’t, my team and I are specialists at teaching men how to embrace their dormant alpha-male energy, and we can help you embrace yours, too.
4. Use those pearly whites and lock eyes like a hawk
Just in general, you probably know that’s it a good idea to look a person in the eye when you’re speaking to them, right? But did you also know that doing so makes you appear more attractive to the opposite sex?
A psychology study revealed that smiling and having a pleasant gaze increases attractiveness, but when people look directly at the viewer, it noticeably increases their attractiveness to the opposite sex.
If you want to get your partner to be more excited about you, using your pearly whites and locking eyes could be all you need.
Why does this work? Dr. Claire Conway, the study’s author, states: “It is possible that our brains are wired this way to allow us to invest our time in attracting members of the opposite sex who seem the most receptive to our interest in them.”
So, in other words, when you smile and lock eyes with someone, you’re pulling a little trick on their ego. If it’s been a while since you looked at your partner like she’s the apple of your eye, maybe it’s time to experiment a bit and see if this simple technique can help reignite the flames in your relationship.
5. Become a master of pleasure and do what you have to do to make yourself desirable in the bedroom
Look, let’s just face the facts here: the vast majority of men don’t know how to sexually satisfy their partners. According to researchers at Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, only 31-40% of women achieve an orgasm during sex.
Interestingly enough, men thought that women achieved orgasms closer to 70% of the time—which is quite a large disparity.
The point is, if you know that you and your partner have a problem in the bedroom, you need to address it. And even if you think you don’t have a problem, you might want to double-check to make sure.
How do you make yourself more desirable in bed? Simple. Figure out what women want. For single guys, that can be a tall order, but you’ve got an advantage: if you’re in a long-term, committed relationship, you can just ask your wife or girlfriend what turns her on.
As simple as it sounds, you might be surprised at how effective it is.
And if this makes you uncomfortable, work on owning that alpha energy. If you exude confidence and show that you’re comfortable in your own skin, your partner will feed off it. Sex is supposed to make you and your partner feel good—and that goes beyond just physical pleasure.
Go back to the basics. Get reacquainted with the art of courting, and remember how to make your partner feel good about herself. Even if you’ve been together for quite some time, women still like to feel like they’re being ‘wooed’ every now and again.
Talk to her during sex—get her aroused. Make it perfectly clear that you’re there to satisfy just as much as she’s there to satisfy you.
And when all else fails, treat sex like anything else you’re trying to master. Study, experiment, and figure out what’s working and what’s not. It’s common for sex to become an afterthought in long-term relationships, but any couple who was able to achieve long-lasting chemistry will tell you how important it really is.
6. Show her the power of your intellect and harness your mental muscle
If you believe that ripped muscles and a chiseled six-pack are the only keys to a woman’s heart, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Yes, as I mentioned earlier, a good physique can spark that initial intrigue, but this is only half the battle.
If you want to really take your desirability to the next level, you have to keep her interested in the words that are coming out of your mouth.
If you’ve got the right balance of wit, conversation skills, and—most importantly—the ability to listen and engage with what she’s saying, you’ll keep her attracted to you for years to come.
To build your intellectual prowess, start by embracing a mindset of continuous learning. And no, I’m not talking about hitting the books like you’re preparing for a Ph.D. thesis. Start by developing a curiosity about the world around you, a thirst for knowledge that extends beyond your job description or your fantasy football leagues.
Haven’t read a book in a while? Then go out and pick one up. Can’t find one that interests you? Then you probably just aren’t looking at the right books.
Find anything that challenges you to engage in stimulating conversations and expand your horizons. The aim is to become a man of substance, a man she can engage with on a deep, intellectual level.
However, this isn’t just about being book smart. It’s also about becoming emotionally intelligent. Understand her needs, wants, and fears. Show empathy. Make her feel seen and heard.
Because—whether or not most men can admit it—nothing is sexier than a man who can understand a woman’s mind and meet her on an emotional level.
Moreover, your intellect extends to your wit and humor. You probably discovered how much girls value humor way back in high school, and that remains true with women no matter what their age is.
If you can manage to be stimulating intellectually, you’ll create an irresistible allure that will make you unstoppable.
7. Own your ambitions and show her you’re not afraid of climbing mountains
Would you consider yourself to be an ambitious man? If the answer is no, ask yourself why? Did you achieve all your goals in life, or did you rest on your laurels and settle on the easy path?
Well, here’s a little secret: women see men who have ambition as sexy—real sexy. If you can find that raw, unyielding passion that is evident in your action, words, and how you carry yourself, you will become instantly more desirable to the opposite sex.
And to be clear, I’m not talking about money, power, or fame here. If that’s what you’re chasing after, that’s perfectly fine, but a man doesn’t need to turn into a celebrity to become ambitious.
Hell, for all I care, you might just want to become the owner of the best landscaping business in the neighborhood.
The point is not what you want to be great at but that you always strive to be the best.
Women respect men who have goals and aren’t afraid to go after them. They’re attracted to the drive, the determination, the resilience of a man who is constantly striving to be the best version of himself.
When you have ambition, it speaks volumes about your character. And it shows her that you have the motivation and the mettle to navigate life’s storms—for both of you.
The key here is authenticity. Don’t inflate your ambitions or exaggerate false achievements in an attempt to impress. Women have a sixth sense for bullshit, and your false façade will crumble faster than you can imagine.
Whatever your ambition entails, own it. Be the guy who isn’t afraid to climb the mountain that no one has ever survived before. This attitude isn’t just the key to increasing your desirability; it’s the key to being successful in life.
Embrace your ambition and become the man you were destined to be. Be the leader who is standing at the top of that mountain, looking down and laughing at all the people who said it couldn’t be done.
8. Want her to treat you like a king? Embody respect and treat her like a queen
Listen, respect is not a one-way street. Do you want to amp up your desirability? Start by treating your woman with the dignity, love, and reverence she deserves because a man who respects his partner doesn’t just earn her love—he earns her adoration, her devotion, and her utmost respect.
Many men I meet think that this means having deep pockets and the ability to shower their women with gifts, but that’s nothing more than a common misconception. It’s not about grand gestures; it’s about acknowledging her worth, valuing her opinion, and appreciating her contributions.
Respect her time, her space, her dreams, her ambitions. Learn to support her, encourage her, and uplift her.
Notice the little things—her new haircut, the dress she’s wearing, the effort she put into cooking your favorite meal. Compliment her, appreciate her, and make her feel valued. There’s nothing more attractive to a woman than a man who sees her and respects her for who she is.
But what’s respect got to do with turning up the dial on your allure? Because when you show a woman genuine respect, you’re showing her you’re a man of decency, a man who gets the big picture. And here’s a news flash: 99% of men out there don’t understand that.
But don’t get it twisted; I’m not talking about worshipping her or catering to her every whim. The point is you have to view her as an equal, as a comrade who is always in your corner. And she has to view you as one, as well.
Because at the end of the day, this is the one person you are going to spend more time with than anyone else on the planet. You owe it to yourself and to her to forge a bond that can go the distance.
Now that you’ve been given the roadmap, are you ready to get behind the wheel and take control of the journey? Because let’s face it—reading the article is great and all, but it will do little to help you if you can’t put it into action.
And as much as I love writing these things—and as much as I love that men like yourself read them—what I appreciate even more is when I can provide men with the power and mindset to make a real, lasting change in their lives.
If this article did that for you, then great—go out there and take life by the horns. But if you’re ready to go all-in but still feel like you need a little guidance, our coaching program at Knowledge for Men is the perfect place.
We’re not just about self-improvement; we’re about complete transformation. We’re about flipping the switch on everything you thought you knew and transforming our clients from average to alpha.
Again, this is no place for the weak-minded, but if you have the resolve and will to devote yourself to making the most out of what we have to offer, you can expect to experience a change that can only be described as profound.
You’ll get access to top-tier coaching, practical tools, and a community of men who are just as driven as you are. These are guys who will push you to be your best in all walks of life.
So, if you are truly ready to put in the work, push your limits and make a lasting mark, this is the time to shut up, step up, and actually do it.
Are you ready to learn more?