The gym isn’t just for working out; it’s also a great place to meet women.
You might have experienced that moment during a workout when you catch an attractive woman making eye contact with you. Maybe it’s not the first time you’ve noticed the same girl, and she seems to be sending clear signals of interest (or at least, that’s what you think).
You might be asking yourself questions like:
- Is it ok to approach a girl at the gym?
- How do I start a conversation with a girl at the gym?
- How do I approach a girl at the gym without being scary or creepy?
But do not fear because I have created a list of tips and advice that can help:
- Tell you what not to do
- Let you know If she’s definitely interested in you
- Guide you on the best ways to initiate a conversation with women at the gym
What Not To Do When Approaching Women at the Gym
So, before I tell you what you should do to successfully approach a woman at the gym; I’m going to tell you what you definitely should NOT do when approaching women at the gym – and the following rules apply:
Ok, so even if you sense that she might be staring at you – don’t stare back, at least not in a weird, stalker kind of way. Casual glances in her direction are perfectly fine, but space them out and don’t hold your gaze for more than a few seconds at a time.
It’s not a staring competition and we don’t want to freak her out or make her feel weird.
Lifting Weights Heavier Than You Normally do to Impress Her
The temptation to try and show off in front of a girl at the gym who is giving you “the eye” can be pretty intense – but heed my advice and refrain from doing anything outside of your normal gym routine as this could actually backfire on you.
For example, if you decide to try out the heaviest weight on the rack just because you feel like she’s watching you and you’re not used to lifting them – chances are you could injure yourself, or worse drop them and look really stupid in front of her.
Don’t Approach Her Too Soon
My advice is not to walk straight over to every girl who you might feel “likes” you at the gym and ask for her number within the first 10 seconds of noticing her.
This is a definite NO, NO!
Play. It. Cool. – Very cliched, I know – but that sentence exists for a reason, so pace yourself, carry on with your workout routine while exchanging glances with her for sure, but let her simmer for a bit.
If this isn’t the first time that you have seen her checking you out during your work outs, as in – if this has happened on two or three definite occasions previously, then I’d say – ok – go for it, it’s time to think about making a move.
However, if this is the first time that you’ve seen her and felt “a vibe” wait at least until towards the end of your work out before approaching her
Don’t Make Loud Grunting Noises
But for the record, for her sake and also for the sake of the other gym goers – do not make loud grunting noises during any type of exercises!
I don’t care if you feel like your hamstring is tearing (awful image I know, obviously do seek help if that ever happens!) but we are not making any kind of weird, creepy grunting noises in front of attractive women at the gym, ok – got it?
I can tell you now that my female friends tell me stories about this, and you do not want to be That Guy.
Women hate guys who try too hard at the gym by making overtly loud grunting noises, and I can tell you that instead of attracting women, this behavior is sure to repel them.
Remember that the gym is a public and social place, so we don’t want to embarrass ourselves or others.
Don’t Compliment Her Body
Although this might seem like an obvious thing to lead with, trust me, avoid making comments or giving compliments about her body straight away, as many women can feel a little on guard about their bodies at the gym anyway, and you don’t want her to feel self-conscious or that you’re only interested in her physically.
Initiate a low-key conversation about training, local races, or anything that allows you to actually have a back-and-forth conversation. That way, she won’t be put on the spot and you’ll both be able to determine whether you have things in common.
Also, most women are genuinely at the gym to work on their fitness and health, and are not necessarily there to meet men, so they may not be in a “flirty or sexually attractive headspace”.
So, even though I know that you might be thinking about how great she looks in those sports leggings, but I wouldn’t say it out loud just yet.
Maybe once you have got talking to her a little bit and the vibe feels chill – sure.
But keep the first time that you speak about something more practical and low-key, like about what your favorite machine is to train on.
Knowing how to approach a woman at the gym or in any setting for that matter can be a little nerve-wracking and it’s completely normal to feel a bit self-conscious about it.
How to Know for Sure if A Girl at the Gym Likes You
Before we approach a woman at the gym, which is a public space and could therefore potentially lead to some awkward vibes if we get rejected in front of other gym goers – it might be worth making sure that we are picking up the right signals.
So, what signals should you be looking for before you make your approach?
This one is kind of obvious, but I couldn’t not include it as it is the biggest sign that a girl at the gym is into you if she keeps looking at you across the room.
Now, everyone can catch our eye once or twice – but what we are specifically looking for here is that she is continually looking at you, glancing at you and also maybe smiling or smirking at you a repeated number of times.
If a girl keeps coming near to you at the gym, let’s say for example, you’ve noticed her repeatedly walk past where you are working out and using equipment close to you – this is a pretty good indication that she likes you, especially if you combine this with the point above – eye contact – it’s looking good.
Also, notice if she is touching her face or playing with her hair as these are both what’s called “self-grooming” behaviours and women do these unconsciously whenever they are attracted to you.
Pay attention to whether she keeps looking at you with a smile or cheeky look in her eye, as these are both subtle flirty signs that she likes you.
Maybe she will be the one to actually make contact with you first by asking for your help loading a machine or even just by making a simple conversation.
If a woman at the gym approaches you to ask for help or just begins talking to you in general conversation, this is a brilliant sign.
Now, it may just be that she is generally asking a question about some equipment – but, if this happens and it happens in conjunction with body language signals and/or eye contact as well – you can be confident that this female is attracted to you and it’s time to make your move.
How to Approach Women at the Gym
Ok, so we’ve read the signs, we’ve confirmed the signals and we’ve played it a little bit cool – excellent – now’s the time to “go in for the kill” – figuratively speaking, of course.
Take note – you don’t always need a pickup line these days to approach a woman romantically, in fact, if anything pickup lines are outdated and are more likely to take away from your level of “game” than add to it.
I’ve collected some top tips from female gym goers, personal trainers, and athletes to give us the heads up on the best ways to approach a girl at the gym.
1. Ask for Her Help
This is a great way to initiate a low-key conversation – ask for her help to figure out how to use the buttons on a machine, or if she’s finished using a machine you’d like to work on.
Then you can initiate some small talk. Ask about her workout routine. Wait until she’s either stepping on or getting off the machine, or else you run the risk of annoying her..
2. Wait Until She’s in Between Sets
Try not to talk to anyone when they’re in the middle of an intense set as this can not only be distracting, but it could also be dangerous, annoying and awkward as she will most likely be out of breath and not able to talk freely.
For example, women aren’t likely to appreciate being approached by guys at the squat rack, especially mid squat – #Awkward.
It’s definitely better to wait until she’s taking a fitness break.
It can be annoying for anyone to approach you when you’re in the middle of a set or a workout, so the best time to make a move is right when she’s finished.
Instead, wait until she’s walking in between machines or going towards the water fountain to refill her water bottle, you could even catch her at the front desk on her way in or out; this is your best bet for a natural, relaxed interaction.
I feel like the water fountain is the perfect time to approach a woman at the gym as it will give her some time to rest, and catch her breath, and everyone needs water when they are at the gym – right? yourself included.
You could use this opportunity to ask if she’s finished with the last machine she was just on and take it from there…. chat a little bit, see how it goes and if you’re getting good vibes, you could even ask her out on a date.
3. Take Notice of Her Routine Times
Sometimes it can feel a bit too forward to approach the very first time that you notice an attractive woman at the gym and maybe you’d prefer to wait until you have seen her a couple of times, both to let it feel more natural and so that you feel more confident in the fact that she is sending you signals.
In this instance, take note of the day and time that you see her in the gym and then try and attend more regularly around this time.
This can help to spark her interest and create a sense of attraction as we tend to feel more attracted to and comfortable with people that we see often.
4. Eye Contact
So, you might have noticed that she is giving you some eye contact – but make sure that you are returning it too.
Without staring in a creepy way, let her know that you are interested. Don’t hold your gaze for too long and keep your glances fleeting and not too frequent.
This will let her know in a non-threatening way that you like what you see and also help to build some flirty attraction between you both.
5. Attend the Same Workout Class as Her
Science shows that we are more likely to be attracted to people that we are around often and who feel familiar, so in order to become more familiar with her it might be a good idea to start attending the same workout class as her.
Maybe you noticed that she goes to a spin class at the same time every week? Great – start going too, this will give you an opportunity to be around her more often and also give you both something in common to talk about.
You’ll be able to have a natural, real-life conversation about class times, or the new exercise routines.
Seeing each other regularly and having a shared hobby are both great for creating attraction.
6. Compliment What She’s Wearing
Girls love compliments about their clothes and it’s an easy way to talk to her on a low key, superficial level.
Remember that it’s natural to feel a little self-conscious when approaching a woman for the first time, but trust me, she’ll enjoy receiving a positive comment about her outfit, as this is something she will have put effort into.
You can use the fact that she’s wearing sports gear to your advantage and say something about how much you love the brand on her t shirt or leggings – this not only compliments her choices, but also shows that you both have something in common which helps to create attraction.
Honestly, compliments about clothes are something that all the girls simply love!
The dating world can be rough, and it’s not easy to meet people these days. Dating apps seem to be becoming less popular and trickier to navigate, especially if you are looking for a relationship. Hopefully, these tips can point you in the right direction when approaching women at the gym.
If approaching women in general is something you’re currently struggling with – we can help! If you are ready to level up in all areas of your life, increase confidence around women, and start dating the woman you really want, we have dating coaches specially for men like you.