Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Connor Beaton is a thought leader in the men’s community who founded ManTalks, has spoken at events around the nation, including TEDx.
Favorite Success Quote
“Aim for fulfillment and success will follow”
1. Stop Chasing the Golden Handcuffs
In most modern western societies, there is one great expectation placed upon all men.
Can you guess what it is?
It’s not to get married and have kids.
It’s not to find a career that they love and find spiritually fulfilling.
Rather, all men are expected to earn.
And not just to earn a living so that they can pursue a life of their choosing, they are expected to earn as much money as they can regardless of the cost.
And while there is nothing wrong with money, most men who pursue those greenbacks with a single-minded intensity soon find themselves financially wealthy, but spiritually, emotionally, and relationally broke.
You need to realize that money is great.
It can enable you to do so much good in the world and make a difference in the lives of countless people.
But it can also become a prison.
Men who chase after careers they dislike in order to achieve a financial status that they don’t really need will often find themselves sitting at home alone, millions in the bank but utterly, and completely miserable.
You see, the real secret to life is to chase fulfillment.
Chase what makes you feel alive, chase what you love, and the money will come.
And even if it doesn’t, you still had a helluva ride and enjoyed life to the fullest.
2. Allow Yourself to Experience Your Success
How many times has this happened to you?
You have spent hundreds of hours working yourself down to the bone to achieve your goals.
You haven’t slept in days, you haven’t allowed yourself to go out with friends in months, and you are on the verge of mental collapse, when finally, you reach your goal.
Whether you hit an income goal, increase your subscriber base, or finally got your first client, you have finally achieved the thing that you had been pursuing for so long.
But there’s a problem.
You don’t allow yourself to acknowledge your victory and enjoy the rewards of your labor.
Instead, you are off to the next goal, the next milestone, the next big thing before you even pause and appreciate what you already have.
One of the most essential parts of success is taking the time to fully experience each of your accomplishments.
No matter what you have achieved, you need to give yourself adequate time to bask in the glow and enjoy the successes you have already reached before you start chasing after the next big thing.
3. You Need to Have Men Who Call You Forward
When was the last time you messed up?
I mean really messed up?
You know, the time that you made the mistake that ended your relationship, that lost you 6-figures in business, or that cost you a trip to the hospital.
Who did you call?
Undoubtedly, you had friends who came to the rescue and told you everything would be alright, but did you have anyone in your life who cut through the crap of the situation and was willing to call you to a higher standard?
Most men have lots of friends on their level and below them, but few of those men have high-level mentors who are willing to call them on their B.S. and tell them when they have messed up.
But you need to realize that the only way forward is to surround yourself with men who are willing to challenge you to achieve at a new level, men who are willing to call you out, and men who are willing to brave your disapproval in an attempt to make you better.
4. If You Want to Achieve Your Goals You Have to Eliminate Porn
Porn is one of the most insidious creations of the modern age.
How many nights have you spent alone in your room, ignoring the real issues and tasks in your life while you were silently kept company by dozens, if not hundreds of virtual women?
How many times have you suppressed the frustrations that you were facing with real women by resorting to a form of “entertainment” where you have unlimited access to any type of woman on the planet, who will do anything that you want, all from the comfort of your own bed?
How many men do you know who lack the passion and drive that they should have because they are wasting all of their energy “experiencing” women online?
The simple fact is this, if you want to achieve the greatest levels of success in your business, your health, and your relationships, then you have to cut out the porn.
There are no questions about it.
It is draining you of your masculinity, of your sex drive, and of your energy to get shi!t done.
Eliminate it from your life as quickly and permanently as you can.
5. Reinvest in Your Creative Side
One of the great travesties of the modern male is that we have all become so caught up with becoming successful in our health, finances, and relationships, that we have completely abandoned all of our creative energies that fulfill us and reinvigorate other aspects of our lives.
If you are feeling lost in your life, if you are feeling unsure of where to go, or if you are simply lacking the motivation that you need to begin pushing the envelope forward in a given area, then you need to reinvest in your creative side.
Whether you take up an instrument, begin writing, dancing, woodworking, or anything else that engages your mind in a new and exciting way, I can guarantee that you will begin to see the world in a new light.
Have you ever noticed how musicians appreciate and describe music (and even the world) in a way that non musicians simply cannot.
Have you ever noticed how writers are able to captivate their audience’s at social gatherings with riveting stories?
Have you ever noticed how men who have learned how to dance are often some of the most creative and enthusiastic partners that a woman will ever experience?
This is not a coincedence.
Engaging in your creative energy will change your life in unexpected and exciting ways.
So whether you are killing it in life right now or are in an existential funk, get out there and get creative.
1. The Wisdom of Insecurity by Allan Watts
2. Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl
3. To Be a Man by Robert Augustus Masters
4. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius