Where have all the great men gone?
Do you ever get that sinking feeling that your life isn’t what you thought it was going to be? Sitting silently wondering – is this it?
Do you ever think back to all of the dreams of grandeur, success, and adventure that you had as a young man, and wonder what happened?
Right now, are you excited, fired up, and ready to take your life head on? Or do you feel tired, beaten down, and frustrated by the stress and monotony of life…
Nearly 200 years ago, Thoreau wrote:
“The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation.”
Look around you – this is as true now as it was back then!
How many men sit in traffic absent-mindedly, dreading the day ahead of them?
These men know they were meant for so much more, but they just don’t know how to get there.
He longed to…
- Travel the world with the love of his life, a woman who excites him… but instead, he settled with Becky from accounting.
- Discover his mission in life and live every day with passion and purpose… but instead, he’s stuck between a job that just pays the bills.
- Do work that truly matters and makes him feel like he’s making a difference in the world… but instead, he’s confined to a 5 x 5 cubicle crunching numbers for a company he cares very little for.
- To live a life of adventure, taking on new challenges and fighting new battles… But instead, he ended up crashing on his financed couch while he binge watches another TV series.
He did everything right growing up and wanted his life to be this incredible adventure, but here he sits in traffic on the 101 freeway living a life of quiet desperation.
There is a silent disease among men today.
It’s the disease of “average” and “settling” and no one seems to be talking about it…
Instead, we numb ourselves with just enough Netflix, porn, and alcohol to get us through the day until we have to do it all over again.
Did you know:
- The suicide rate for men is 3.5x higher than that of women?
- The divorce rate hovers above 58% (mostly initiated by women leaving men devastated and hopeless with no support system to recover)?
- Men are 3x more likely to become alcohol and drug dependent – masking their problems their entire lives rather than facing and solving them to free themselves?
You’d think men would reach out for help, but they instead keep this struggle to themselves.
Why is it that the males are depicted today on TV as Homer Simpson, Al Bundy, and Peter Griffon…?
Men who drink endlessly, do drugs and degrade women.
Is this what we choose to glorify and have slowly become?
Where are the Julius Caesars…Winston Churchills… the Abraham Lincolns?
Now, before we get started, I want to set the record straight.
Working with a men’s coach does NOT mean that you are weak or incapable of doing something yourself.
Every great man throughout history had a team of coaches, advisors, and mentors helping him to get to the next level.
- Michael Jordan had Phil Jackson
- Mark Zuckerburg had Steve Jobs
- Warren Buffet had Benjamin Graham
- Alexander the Great had Aristotle
- Tony Robbins had Jim Rohn
- David Letterman had Johnny Carson
I doubt anyone here would challenge these men’s success or masculinity or try to redact their ‘Man Card’ because they were “too weak” to accomplish their goals alone.
The best in the world all have coaches. Period!
Coaching allows you to grow faster by closing the gap from where you are now to where you want to be in the shortest amount of time possible.
If you want to be great, then you need help getting there. You are not going to do it alone and thinking otherwise is delusional and egoic.
Men, more than ever, need coaches to guide them to unleash their greatness in their life, career/business, and relationships.
Let’s dive into the 10 reasons how a men’s coach can support you on your journey today.
1. You Have No Clear Purpose or Mission for Your Life
You’re lost and have no idea what you’re doing. You’re winging it and hoping for the best thinking that time will solve the problem.
You follow the crowd aimlessly moving through life without presence or purpose, bouncing from one “project” and lofty goal to the next without ever giving any real thought as to WHY you do the things you do.
You haven’t taken a step back and looked inward and asked yourself the most powerful question any man can ask himself, “what do I really want as a man?”
Because you haven’t done this you grind Monday through Friday and live for the weekends. You sacrifice 5 days so you can enjoy only 2.
Vacations are your escape and alcohol, your drug of choice or even porn becomes your remedy to reduce the pain of not knowing who you are or where you’re going in life.
You tend to spend money on lavish external things like cars, clothes, and needless household items in the hopes of finding some tiny spurt of happiness – Because it’s artificial, it goes away the following week so you’re left in an endless cycle of consumption.
Every man needs a fight. Not a fist fight, but a mission to fight for, a purpose, a legacy that you want to leave behind and are willing to work day and night for.
“Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it.” – Gautama Buddha
Something that’s greater than yourself and for some men possibly noble enough that it’s worth dying for. The two most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why.
A men’s coach empowers you to find your path and purpose and give your life real meaning that is in 100% alignment with who you are as a man.
And once this happens… your whole life changes.
Instead of living for the weekends, you can’t wait to start the week because every day is an adventure where you get to pursue your highest calling.
Instead of sedating yourself with drugs, alcohol, and porn, you feel fully alive and present in each moment because you know your mission and what you want to leave behind. You don’t have time to waste!
Instead of going through yet another day wallowing in the land of mediocrity, you stand for greatness and hold yourself to the highest standards… Because anything less would mean depriving the world and those you love of your greatest gifts and passions.
Once you have uncovered your purpose, average ends and life begins.
2. You Don’t Have a Strong Brotherhood of Men to Support You During Your Biggest Life Challenges
I’m not referring to your ‘boys’ who you throw back beers on the weekend and talk of nothing of real substance. I’m talking about authentic men who have your back and demand that you share your truth and be real.
Most men go their entire lives with surface level friends who never challenge them to go deeper and share the journey together.
Men are typically scared to approach the male friends they do have in fear of judgment or thinking they’ll just say “Come on, just be a man!” or something that doesn’t help at all.
Show me a man who can’t connect with another man, and I’ll show you a man who is depressed, alone, and suffering.
Humans need to connect at a deep and authentic level to be emotionally free and healthy.
But most men are unwilling or unable to have the real and vulnerable conversations with their male friends that can help them grow and work through their problems.
And it’s no wonder that according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention the suicide rate for men is 3.5x higher than women.
This is a very real social problem that people aren’t talking about and very few men are aware of themselves.
Do you have strong men in your life that you can share the good, the bad and the ugly with who will listen and support you?
Men who will hear your truth without judgment or reprisal? Men who allow you to fully experience your pain and hardships without laughing at you or telling you to “Toughen up”?
Men who live in the world of truths tend to be more connected to the world and those around them and find more joy, happiness, and fulfillment.
And this is exactly what a a strong brotherhood of men can do for you.
They will provide a space for you where you can share your authentic truth without fear, without judgment, and without worry.
They’ll allow you speak from the heart about what is really going on and then give you the support you need to move forward.
3. You Need Heavy Masculine Accountability to Move Forward and Get Real Results
Let me ask you something…
If Tony Robbins, Nelson Mandela, or Julius Ceasar. came up to you and asked you to do something… Would you do it?
Of course you would!
When a strong grounded man with absolute conviction in his beliefs asks you to do something – you do it.
Letting a men’s coach down is very different from letting your counselor down.
There is a deeper respect and bond that’s developed with your men’s coach. It’s the masculine nature to be a man of your word. If you tell a strong grounded man you’ll do something and don’t – you’re breaking your word and bond with your coach and subconsciously signaling to yourself that, “I’m a liar and a fraud”.
It’s not about the money with the men’s coach it’s about being a man of integrity.
If your word means nothing… then you don’t stand for anything.
When a man is held accountable by someone he deeply respects then he focuses harder and takes the right actions and gets positive and satisfying results.
You can’t hide.
You can’t play small.
You can’t live with the excuses that you’ve used for decades anymore.
The pain you feel when you let down someone you greatly respect will propel you into action. It’s a big reality check for you when your men’s coach does not buying into your little fake story.
You’ll be thinking in the back of your head, “He’s right. I can’t believe I’ve gotten away with this for this long and it’s time to change.”
“If you hang out with chickens, you’re going to cluck and if you hang out with eagles, you’re going to fly.” – Steve Maraboli
Having a men’s coach doesn’t make you weak or incapable. It makes you smart for investing in yourself with a person who will help you become great.
Any coward can shy away from help because he’s afraid to look foolish… it’s the truly strong and couragous man who stands up and asks for a guiding hand.
4. You Were Not Raised by a Strong Grounded Man or Had Weak Role Models Growing Up
I’m sure that your father is a good man (or maybe he isn’t, I don’t know).
But if you’re anything like me, then your father probably wasn’t the best role model for being a grounded man of purpose, action and results.
He probably went to work, made money, and then came home to watch sports or drink with friends… leading you to believe that being a ‘man’ in modern society is all about making money and paying bills.
This isn’t a put down of your father – he likely did the best he could with what he was given from his father and so on.
But this doesn’t change the reality that you were probably left completely clueless and lost with regards to navigating the difficult challenges of being a modern day man.
- You may struggle with how to attract and communicate with women (especially beautiful women)…
- You may struggle standing up for yourself and prioritizing your needs over your bosses, friends, and family members.
- You may avoid or put off conflicts so as not to “upset” anyone or cause any problems…
- You may hold some deep frustration inside– where sometimes it uncontrollably explodes
- You may be a “nice guy” who does things in order to get people to like you. You don’t stand up for your own values because others’ approval is more important.
Men who experience this lean towards a more feminine nature which is beneficial at times. However, to be a Grounded Man, that masculine energy must be there too.
Balancing both the masculine and feminine energies is more important than ever for you to have that masculine energy to get to the next level in your life, business and relationships.
The other side of this coin is the over-achiever guy. These men hustle hard to mask their pain and validate themselves through external success in work, creating wealth and buying flashy toys like a house, car or name brand clothes. It can be a never-ending cycle for decades to prove to others that you are worthy of respect, love and connection.
There’s nothing wrong with achievement – so long as you achieve for yourself and not to simply win the approval of others and silently say “look I am enough can’t you see my successes!”
With a men’s coach, you have someone with real backbone to boost your masculinity and increase your confidence in a healthy mature way.
You’ll no longer settle for mediocre relationships, getting walked on by other men, or suffering from “nice-guy-itis” where you prioritize everyone except for yourself and allow your dreams to wither away and die.
You learn the right ways to get your needs met, speak your truth, and be respected by others and most importantly – yourself.
5. You Surrender Your Masculine Power to Women (Hoping that It Will Help You Find Love)
Woody Allen said, “90% of success is showing up.”
The problem is real men aren’t showing up in the world for women!
Men have lost the beauty of their masculine edge and women are starving for it.
When you look at an attractive woman, you immediately start thinking of what it would be like to have sex with her. In your conversations and interactions, you’re constantly checking out her breasts, legs, butt and hips.
You’re not present with her at all – and she knows this.
You’re trying to “get” something from her rather than trying to build something with her.
She could tell you to do something and without question, you would bend over backward for her.
You’ve put women on a pedestal and allowed them to take control of your life because you operate from a scarcity mindset.
This behavior puts you at the mercy of women.
She owns you – and loses all respect for you.
She treats you like a little boy because that’s exactly how you’re acting. A physically big man with no inner backbone (one of the biggest turn-offs for women).
The whole time she’s confused why you do this to yourself but of course, she’ll happily take advantage of this opportunity for gifts, free dinner dates, and all-expenses-paid trips to wherever the hell she wants. And you may dislike that but it’s not a woman’s job to make you a Grounded Man. It’s yours.
Working with a men’s coach helps you regain your masculine power and become more respected and attractive to women.
This isn’t about becoming a ‘bad boy’.
It’s about learning how to prioritize your needs, valuing yourself and your mission more and realizing that women respect a man who respects himself first.
Your coach will not only help you uncover your masculine power and unleash the primal man caged inside of you, he’ll teach you how to amplify this power in a healthy way so that you can earn more respect, love, and admiration from the women closest to you.
Is this message resonating with you?
If so, I want to offer you 7 days free access to my best online training courses for men, my exclusive brotherhood of men, and live weekly group coaching calls with professional men’s coaches here.
6. You Crave the Freedom to Do the Things that You’ve Always Wanted to Do But Are Held Back By the Fear of Other People’s Opinions
At the core of every man is the desire to be free.
To do the things that he wants, the way he wants, with whom he wants, when he wants.
The freedom to pursue his dreams, express his deepest feelings and live true to himself without worrying about what others think of him.
But there’s a problem…
Your ancient brain evolved to keep you safe… Not to set you free. It’s designed to stop you from facing your fears and instead to sit in the land of mediocrity where everything is safe and comfortable.
And there’s no greater fear than what other people will think of us if we are true to ourselves.
Because this fear has taken over your life, you’ve locked your emotions up and pretend to be a “strong man” when you’re hurting inside and barely holding it together.
Or maybe even worse you’re completely unaware of this – and you don’t even feel this pain anymore since it’s been locked away in a cage for so long.
You bought into the story that big boys don’t show emotion or even cry (an entirely human emotion)… That men should, somehow, never show or feel fear and should courageously tackle any obstacle without a second’s thought.
When a man does this he shuts down a piece of his heart and becomes less human and more of a robot programmed by society.
The greatest fear in the world is of the opinions of others. And the moment you are unafraid of the crowd you are no longer a sheep, you become a lion. A great roar arises in your heart, the roar of freedom.” ~Osho
Emotionally handicap men, men who have locked their true self in a cage, become distant, angry, frustrated and apathetic.
Their fear of other people’s opinions causes them to let their dreams die and, as a result, they walk through life resenting other people… Especially the people who have the courage to live true to themselves.
Friendships and relationships feel more like chores. When someone asks how you’re doing you reply with superficial answers to avoid expressing how you really feel.
“I’m alright, good, great, fine”… then you quickly turn the conversation back to them.
When a man is disconnected from his heart, he becomes disconnected from the rest of the world.
A men’s coach will help you to boldly face your fears and authentically express your emotions so that you can live a life true to yourself and achieve the success that you’ve always desired instead of settling for the status quo.
Your men’s coach unlocks your emotional cage so you can finally experience what true freedom means and live it.
7. You Need Someone Who Doesn’t Just Listen to You… But Challenges You to Step Up and Take Massive Action
Therapists, counselors and psychiatrists might be able to help you identify past traumas and problems, but they don’t stand for your greatness like a coach does.
Instead, they give you drugs and put you in a circle of other sobbing individuals who have not recovered from their pain and are still living in the past, and then they tell you that “Everything is ok” and you’re perfect just the way you are. Wrong!
You’re going to therapy because something isn’t working and you want to know how to fix it.
Complaining about the problems and lying to yourself so that you can pretend everything is okay doesn’t solve the underlying problem. It allows you to play small and hide behind the facade of “solving” your problems.
Truthfully you know within minutes of meeting your therapist, counselor or psychiatrist that they aren’t going to work. That they won’t get through to you and you secretly like it because you can keep doing what you’ve always done.
You still pay for it because it feels like you’re “trying” something and now… You get to blame someone else when you’re life doesn’t work out the way you want it to.
A men’s coach spots your BS before you open your mouth and you aren’t able to hide and play small any longer. You have to step up with your coach whereas therapists, counselors and psychologists let you get away with your BS, often childish behaviors that prevent you from moving forward in life.
Here’s one way to look at it:
Counseling: let’s solve a short-term issue and if I can’t solve it then I’ll refer you to one of the options below…
Therapy: Let’s dig into your past, live there and find 10 other issues we should also now focus on and once in a blue moon I’ll tell you what you need to do with zero accountability or a clear plan of action.
Psychiatry: let’s get you hooked on this new drug and see if it works, if not I’ve got another drug for you – you’re actually a science experiment for these new drugs by the way – so don’t worry and just sign here!
Men’s coach: Let’s move forward and grow from this challenge. I understand where you’re coming from and I feel the pain you feel and have solved it for myself and many others without any drugs, taking years or costing you a fortune in healthcare.
Men’s coaches listen deeply, speak in truths and are more direct and action-oriented to help you get a specific result so you can move forward and grow.
In this process, you learn that your past challenges if overcome are exactly what makes you a strong, grounded man after all.
Men’s coaches won’t let you hide from your challenges instead you’ll face them head on and grow stronger as a result.
Hey, I didn’t say creating the life you want was going to be easy… yet it is worth it.
8. You Believe that Being a Strong Man Means Complete Self Reliance and an Unwillingness to Ask for Support
As a society, we’ve bought into the lie that being a “Real Man” means that you are totally self-reliant. That you never ask for help, don’t need support, and are able to handle every single one of your problems alone.
Remind me again… How’s this working out for us?
Suicide rates are on the rise. Depression is at an all-time high. The rates of divorce and career dissatisfaction just keep growing.
But we keep trudging on thinking that we are the problem and that somehow we’re broken while all of the successful men around us have their life figured out.
Our hubris has stopped us from making real progress and achieving what we really want.
You don’t want to ask for help at the cost of looking “weak” so you’d rather spend more money, time and energy trying to figure something out on your own rather than just asking for help from someone who has an answer and more experience than you do.
- How is a white belt ever supposed to become a black belt without asking for help…?
- How is a student ever supposed to master the subject without asking questions…?
- How could Rocky face Apollo Creed without asking for Mic’s help…?
What makes you a strong man is your ability to admit that you can’t do it alone, you don’t know everything – and even if you could or did, how boring would that be to get to the top of a hill and find yourself all alone.
Wouldn’t you want to celebrate with others who have supported you all along?
Imagine celebrating your 50th birthday, and you have people canceling last minute, and very few people show up to celebrate your life with you…
Asking for help from a men’s coach isn’t a sign of weakness… your coach won’t judge or belittle you… you get a partner with only your best interest at heart and tap into the true power that lies within.
9. You Are Holding Back Your Greatness and You Know It – But No One Else Can Tell
Have you ever said any of the following things to yourself?
“I’m fine where I am. I should be grateful for what I already have instead of trying to achieve more.”
“It’s not that bad… At least I’m not (in debt, divorced, depressed, fill in the blank)”
“I’m doing better than most of my friends so why should I feel unhappy with where I am right now?”
Maybe you played all out for a short period of time in your life, reached a level of comfort and stability… And then just stopped.
This is fine for a little while…
Everyone needs periods of rest and recovery so that they can fully recharge and tackle the next mission with precision and power.
But after a while… Your life starts to feel like Groundhog Day.
You become complacent and comfortable, doing well by society’s standards, but knowing deep down that you’re holding back and not giving life your all.
When you play small, you stop growing – and as Tony Robbins says “if you aren’t growing you’re dying.”
There is less gusto, fight and vigor in a man when he’s playing small. Deep down inside the man loses respect for himself and often falls victim to the quick hits of instant gratification that society offers alcohol, drugs, entertainment to keep his mind occupied.
This is never allowed with a men’s coach.
They’re one of the few people in your life who will be willing to stand up to you, look you in the eyes, and call you out for playing small and hiding your greatness from the world.
You’ll hate him at times because he will push you and challenge you to do the things YOU know you should do but society tries to convince you are unnecessary.
You may say “Screw him! I hate that guy, and I’m not doing this anymore!
But you’ll come to realize that you’re just retreating into old habits and you know he’s right. That you know, he stands for your greatness and is only supporting you in making your dreams become a reality.
Your excuses won’t work with him, so you’ll have no other option but to take appropriate action, be consistent and reap the benefits of becoming a stronger Grounded Man.
10. The Future is Yours if You Have the Courage to Seize It
There’s a new breed of coaches that stand for men and are on a mission to reignite true masculinity in our modern society.
I’ve interviewed and dated dozens of women and I have yet to meet a SINGLE woman who wasn’t excited, supportive… Heck, even a little awe-struck by the men who are taking advantage of coaching to grow and become their strongest selves.
Men’s Coaches give men the power to become stronger Grounded Nen, so they enjoy more success, freedom and happiness in their personal and professional lives.
Men’s coaches help men and women benefit too because they get to be with a strong, Grounded Man. A man focused on his purpose, fighting his fight, a lover of women and a man of integrity.
There is a powerful man deep inside of you that has been suppressed for far too long.
It’s time to lead.
This is a call to all men – to be great!
To rise up and shatter the bonds society has trapped us in.
From this point forward you are going to stand on this earth as a strong, Grounded Man.
We can and will do better.
It isn’t too late to take a stand in our own lives and be the hero of our own adventure once again.
Yes, it is a scary journey, but you don’t have to do it alone. There are men out there who will stand for your greatness and help you rise to the top.
Are you ready to unleash the powerful man inside you and rise to the greatness you deserve?
I’m on a mission to impact 1 million men and if you deeply resonated with this article then I want to offer you 7 days free access to my best online training courses for men, my private brotherhood of men, and live weekly group coaching calls with professional men’s coaches here.