356: Wade Alters: Clearing Your Subconscious and Mastering the Inner Game of Success

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Wade Alters is a professional dating and relationship coach turned lifestyle entrepreneur and business consultant. He currently runs Wade Alters Consulting, a company where he helps men master the inner game of success and achieve the life of their dreams.

Favorite Success Quote

“It’s never your identity, it’s always your strategy”

Key Points

1. Anything You Desire is an Attainable Skill 

Since birth, most of us have been conditioned to believe that who we are is set in stone.

We think that we are naturally bad with numbers, introverted, crap with women, or just not as smart as everyone else.

Not only are these beliefs detrimental to our health and well-being, they are also completely false.

Short of physical characteristics like height, bone structure, and other unchangeable genetic factors, anything in your life can be changed.

Through the power of hard work, neuroplasticity, and intentional reconditioning, you can become anyone that you want.

You can learn to become more extroverted, you can learn different skill sets, you can change aspects of your personality that you don’t like.

And for most people, this is a scary realization.

Because as soon as you accept that nearly every facet of your personality and life are within your control, you are now “burdened” with the realization that you are completely responsible for everything in your life and everything not in your life.

And with this realization comes two choices.

You can take the blue pill, and continue living life by other people’s terms and by your societal and parental conditioning, resigning your power and allowing circumstances and other people to control your destiny.

Or you can take the red pill and accept the uncomfortable responsibility that you are in control.

You can take charge of your life, move the ball forward, and shape your own destiny.

So…

Which pill are you going to swallow?

2. Understand the Effect of Your Childhood Conditioning 

While it is possible to change nearly anything in your life and any aspect of your identity, you cannot change anything if you don’t know what you were conditioned to believe and act like.

If you don’t understand the mindsets and habits that you adopted from your childhood and the beliefs that you developed around money, women, relationships, success, and happiness, then you cannot change it.

Maybe you had perfect parents who filled you full of empowering beliefs and attitudes, who taught you how to make, keep, and grow your money and how to lead a balanced, fulfilling, and great life.

But for most of you, you are walking around conditioned to view the world in a way that is not serving you.

The first step to changing this conditioning is to simply become aware of it.

What did your parents teach you about money?

Is it the root of all evil? Something that you should have just enough of but never more? Or did they teach you that money is a tool that you can use to better the world?

What did they teach you about women and relationships?

Did you learn that you should be nice to women? That you should pander and supplicate at the pedestal? Or did they teach you that you must be a strong, assertive man who can lead his woman to a more empowering future?

Once you dive into your subconscious and understand past conditioning, you will have the power to change it.

So take the time now to truly understand what your beliefs and patterns are in every area of life.

3. Take Care of Yourself First

If you are anything like the majority of men reading this, then chances are good that you are ambitious, driven, motivated, and hungry for more.

But with that hunger and drive comes a dark side.

It becomes so easy to get caught up in your mission, vision, and business that you forget about yourself.

You work longer hours, sleep less, allow your health to slide, and no longer take time for the things that you love.

And soon, the very things that you love become a danger to your overall success.

You must take care of yourself first.

Take care of your health, exercise daily, eat well, and get great sleep.

Take care of your emotions, spend time with people you love, pursue your hobbies and passions, and be grateful for what you have in your life.

Take care of yourself, love yourself, and allow yourself the room to mess up and make mistakes.

Life is precious.

And while your goals and ambitions are important, so are you. 

Take care of yourself and the money, love, and prosperity will follow.

4. Success Doesn’t Have to Happen Right Now

In our modern age of instant gratification and “We want it now” mentality, it’s easy to sabotage yourself by trying to become too successful too quickly.

If you are lucky, you will probably be around for at least a few more decades.

So stop burning yourself out and beating yourself up because you haven’t achieved your goals right now!

Half of you reading this are probably under the age of 30, and yet, despite your youth and inevitable naivety, you are angry and frustrated that you are not already a Tony Robbins or Mark Zuckerberg.

Just stop!

You don’t have to achieve wildly right now.

Give yourself the time that you need to smell the roses.

Give yourself permission to mess up.

Focus on the long game.

And like Tony Robbins says, remember that “We drastically overestimate what we can do in a year and underestimate what we can do in a decade.

Success doesn’t happen overnight.

So enjoy the ride and relax a bit.

5. Model the People You Want to be Like  

There is an old saying “Success leaves clues.”

And if you want to be successful in any endeavor whether it’s in your business, with your finances, or with women, the simplest shortcut is to find someone who has what you want and do what they do.

Success is not an accident, it’s the result of habit and hard work.

Study successful individuals and you will start to notice patterns that they all follow.

Most of them wake up early, work on a clear schedule, exercise daily, and give 10% of their income to charities.

Find your personal “guru” and commit yourself to doing exactly what they do.

If you follow their habits and routines for long enough, you will eventually achieve the success you desire.

Influential Books

1. The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Brandon

2. The E-Myth Revisited by Micahel Gerber

3. The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida

4. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand

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Connect with Wade Alters

wadealters.com

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