33: Mike Hrostoski: Master Your Relationships and Your Work

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Mike Hrostoski, The Men’s Coach, helps high performing men master their relationships with their women and their work. And he’s on a mission to make the world a better place one man at a time.

Favorite Success Quote

“The greatest fear in the world is of the opinions of others. And the moment you are unafraid of the crowd you are no longer a sheep, you become a lion. A great roar arises in your heart, the roar of freedom.” – Osho

Key Points

1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel Pain

As men, we are told from a very young age not to cry, to be tough, and to be a man.

And while these sentiments might be well intentioned, they are ultimately damaging to our goals and desires.

We have vast depths of emotion that we never allow ourselves to experience.

We hide behind a mask of faux masculinity, never letting our true selves and our true emotions show.

And this is a tragedy.

Because true masculine power comes from a place of being able to experience our emotions and feel pain.

If you never allow yourself to experience the hurt and the frustration of a situation, you will simply numb yourself to life.

And not just the bad parts of life either.

When you cut off one emotion, you begin to cut them all off and you will find yourself in a zombie like existence where you can’t experience the highs or the lows of life.

As a man, you need to give yourself permission to feel pain.

It’s ok to cry, it’s ok to feel hurt, and it’s ok to show it.

Quit supressing your emotions and start experiencing them.

2. Surround Yourself with the Right People

Life is going to be hard.

There are going to be ups and downs.

There are going to be struggles, trials, and tribulations.

But if you are surrounded by the right people, people who love you deeply, who care for you, and who are willing to both praise and criticize you, you will have an almost unlimited power in times of distress.

So much of life is determined by the quality of the people we associate with.

If you don’t have a social circle full of strong grounded men who you love and trust, then make this a priority.

Not only will they raise your standards and help you live a better life, but they will also provide the support and care that you need when life gets hard.

3. You Are Where You Are Supposed to Be 

In this moment, you are where you are supposed to be.

You are reading this article and listening to this interview right now because you are supposed to be. 

You are on your own path and your own journey, and you need to realize that this very moment, and all the circumstances leading up to it are in your life for a reason.

So stop worrying about other people’s progress and how you don’t feel like you are enough in this moment and just accept that things are the way they are for a reason.

And it is only when we look back on our lives that we will understand why events needed to play out the way that they did.

4. Stay Open in Every Moment 

In every moment of life, you need to stay open.

Open to new people, to new ideas, to new ways of thinking, and to new realities you might not have realized.

You and I don’t have everything figured out.

And as easy as it is to stay closed off to things that make us uncomfortable and unhappy, it is essential that we stay open so that we can take full advantage of every moment.

You never know when simply listening to someone’s opinion could change your life or theirs.

You never know when staying open to a person that you had previously disliked can result in a friendship that will last you a life time.

You never know!

And because you never know, you need to stay open, no matter how much you want to close yourself off and retreat.

5. The Elixir of Life is Integrity

One of the greatest accomplishments in life is to live in total congruence.

To be the same man at home, in the board room, and out with your friends.

When you show up to each and every one of your different responsibilities as the same man, you have a power that cannot be understated.

You feel strong in your identity and in yourself, others see your integrity and respect you, and no matter how difficult life might be, you can sleep easy knowing that you are living your life on your path and purpose.

Influential Books

The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida

Finding your Own North Star by Martha Beck

Mode One by Alan Roger

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Connect with Mike Hrostoski

The Men’s Conference

hrostoski.com

One Response to 33: Mike Hrostoski: Master Your Relationships and Your Work

  1. Tim March 29, 2014 at 3:30 pm #

    This is my favorite podcast so far. The “conscious dude” movement is upon us!

    But seriously, as guys, we are built to be stoic and tough. We hate feeling vulnerable and weak.

    I love how Mike recommends embracing our feelings and sharing them. I have made this a focus point within the past year and it has made a tremendous difference.

    When you open up to friends and family, you build trust and respect that you wouldn’t have otherwise. You realize it’s okay, and actually feels great, to share your emotions.

    Solid Interview Mike and Andrew. I will be looking to attend Conference for Men in the future.