32: Matthew Ferry: Transforming Fear Into Action

Matthew Ferry creates lasting results by teaching you how to be happy now, regardless of the circumstances of life. Since 1994, he has coached and trained CEOs, top sales professionals, entrepreneurs and Wall Street heavy hitters to thrive during chaotic and devastating circumstances.

Matthew Ferry is the worlds preeminent authority on The Drunk Monkey, his nickname for the mind, and the underlying cause that blocks you from attaining what you truly desire. As a happiness and success expert, he literally wrote the book on The Drunk Monkey and is passionate about teaching street-tested techniques to get it under control so you can make more money, have better relationships, and finally experience the balance and life satisfaction you’ve been craving.

Favorite Success Quote

“Success is a series of well managed breakdowns.” – Matthew Ferry

Key Points

1. We Know What We Need to Succeed 

We live in a day and age where information abounds.

With the simple click of a button, you can become an “expert” on almost any topic.

There are nearly 2 million articles published on the internet each and every day covering all topics and modalities of thought.

So clearly, when we face a problem in our lives, the issue is not a lack of knowledge, it’s a lack of action.

We know what we need to do to succeed.

We know how to get healthier, wealthier, and wiser…

And yet we still don’t do it!

We continue on doing the same things that we have always done, getting the same results that we have always gotten, and feeling frustrated about the whole darn thing.

We suffer from a lack of action, not from a lack of knowledge.

2. Gain Awareness of Your “Drunk Monkey”

We all have what Matthew calls a “Drunk Monkey” ruling over our minds.

This is the subconscious part of our mind that evolved to protect us on the plains of the Sahara… not to help us thrive in the concrete jungles of the 21st century.

This Drunk Monkey makes us second guess ourselves, creates stress and anxiety around benign subjects, and distracts us from our larger goals.

The first step to tame the drunk monkey is to simply acknowledge that it even exists!

Once you realize that the voice inside of your head that is working to stress you out and keep you from your goals is not you then you will begin to gain power over this voice and can learn how to control it.

3. You Need to Leverage Rational Thinking to Overcome Fear

One of the best strategies for overcoming irrational fears is to engage your prefrontal cortex and approach the situation with rationality.

Start by working through the problem in your head.

What is really going on?

What is really at stake?

What do you really have to lose?

Are you afraid of losing your job?

Ok… what does that really mean.

It probably means that you would need to downsize your home, sell your BMW, and cut back on dining out for a few months.

However it also means that you now have the opportunity to start something of you own, find a job that you are more passionate about, or just take time off of working to rest and recover.

Think through all the possibilities rationally and you will be amazed at how quickly you can eradicate fear.

4. Take Action to Overcome Problems

The quickest way to overcome any problem that you are facing is simple… take massive and immediate action.

If you are broke, go get three jobs or start your own company and work 16 hours a day until you are financially secure.

If you are fat, get off your butt, throw out all of your processed food, and find a workout partner to hold you accountable.

If you aren’t seeing any success in your dating life, then go out and talk to five new women every day!

The more action you can take and the faster that you can take it, the quicker you will be able to succeed and live the life of your dreams.

5. Having a Purpose is Crap 

There is no such thing as having a purpose.

No one has a “purpose”.

We are simply here to live a life of fulfillment and joy.

That’s it.

If what you are doing stresses you out and causes you more anxiety than it will ever be worth, then you are off purpose.

If what you are doing fulfills you and provides you with a deep internal sense of joy, then you are on purpose.

Plain and simple.

To find your “purpose” all you need to do is try out different paths until something resonates and fulfills you.

Once you have found your “thing” then keep going at it until you are ready to try something new.

Influential Books

The Eye of the I by Dr. David Hawkins

Infinite Self by Stuart Wild

The Strangest Secret by Earl Nightingale

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Connect with Matthew Ferry

matthewferry.com

@matthew_ferry

The Times Have Changed. This is the Way Forward in 2024.

Here’s how I can help in my new FREE training on becoming a stronger Grounded Man:

1. The new path for men that creates a purpose driven life and doesn’t require you to lose your personal power, put women on a pedestal or sacrifice your goals.

2. Why men consistently settle and ignore the most important areas of life like the quality of their intimate relationships, social life and happiness and how to optimize all three without sacrificing professional growth.

3. The biggest mistake 97% of men make that breeds loneliness, breakups and emasculation that is absolutely reversible with this counter intuitive strategy.