30: Dr. Robert Glover: No More Mr. Nice Guy

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Dr. Glover is an internationally recognized authority on the Nice Guy Syndrome. He is a frequent guest on radio talk shows and has been featured in numerous local and national publications.

Through his book: No More Mr. Nice Guy, online classes, workshops, podcasts, blogs, consultation, and therapy groups, Dr. Glover has helped change the lives of countless men and women around the world.

Favorite Success Quote

“I’ll handle it” – Dr. Susan Jeffers

“What one man can do another man can do.” – Anthony Hopkins, The Edge

Key Points

1. What One Man Can Do Another Man Can Do 

What one man can do another man can do.. if it has been done before, it can be done again.

There is no goal that you can set, if it has already been achieved, that is impossible.

If one man can discover the keys to a passionate and vibrant relationship and sustain a happy marriage for years, then so can you.

If one man can build a side hustle, quit his job, and travel the world for years, then so can you.

If one man can transform his body, drop fat, gain muscle, and inspire others, then so can you.

Do not limit yourself.

What has been done before can be done again.

And you can be the one to do it.

2. Who Cares if You Get in “Trouble”

When men get older they tend to carry their child like habits with them into adult hood.

They are afraid of “Getting in trouble” if they speak their mind, go against the grain, or break the rules.

Well guess what?

You can’t get in trouble  anymore gentlemen! You are grown men, so you might as well act like it.

Short of breaking the law or committing a felony, you don’t get in trouble for telling someone no, prioritizing yourself, or going for what you want even if it pisses other people off.

Quit acting like a child who is afraid to get grounded and start living your damn life.

If you want to say something, then say it.

If you want to voice your opinion, then do it.

If you want to go for something that inspires you and leave the mundane life you are living behind you, then go for it!

Life is too short to play by the rules, so stop worrying about getting “in trouble” and start living your life.

3. Live with “Authentegrity”

If you want to live a truly fulfilling and congruent life then you need to live with what Dr. Glover calls “Authenegrity”.

This is where you are living authentically and with integrity in all areas of your life.

A man of authentegrity is the kind of man who speaks his mind, the kind of man who goes for what he wants, and the kind of man who is unafraid of other people’s opinions.

It means that you show up as the same person at home, in the bedroom, in the board room, and with your friends.

You are not bitching about your wife to your co workers and then bitching about your co workers to your wife.

You are up front and honest with people.

You experience and share your emotions and refuse to live life based on other people’s rules and restrictions.

4. Focus on Progress Not Perfection

Breaking free of the Nice guy and living a life of authentegrity is hard.

It will not be easy.

But just like any worthwhile endeavor, it will be worth it.

Remember that progress, not perfection is the road to success.

You will mess up, you will fall down, you will say yes when you should say no, and you will keep quiet when you should speak up.

What is important is that you recognize these patterns as they arise and take steps to intervene and reprogram yourself to do what you know is right.

Don’t get down on yourself for each failure.

Just pick yourself up, make a mental note, and move on with your life.

5. You Need to Kill the “Nice” Guy 

The nice guy is the ultimate thief of success and fulfillment.

He is the embodiment of weakness, deception, and a deferred life, playing by someone else’s rules instead of living by your own.

If you want to live a 10/10 life and experience true fulfillment, then you need to kill the nice guy.

This doesn’t mean that you immediately become a total ass hole or a condescending jerk.

It means that you start standing up for yourself and taking responsibility for your life.

Stop letting other people’s opinions limit your possibilities, stop doing things because you “should” and not because they are what you need to do to achieve your dreams, and most of all, stop holding your tongue and allowing others to walk all over you because you are too scared of getting in trouble.

Be a man, kill the nice guy, and live a life of meaning and purpose.

Influential Books

Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Dr. Susan Jeffers

The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida

The Road Less Traveled by Scott Peck

Passionate Marriage by Dr. David Schnarch

The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

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Connect with Dr. Robert Glover

Dr.Glover.com

No More Mr. Nice Guy

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