11: Carlos Xuma: Stay on Your Path and Live the Alpha Lifestyle


Carlos Xuma is a dating and attraction advisor, as well as a black belt martial arts instructor and motivational life counselor. He’s the author of The Dating Black Book, Secrets of the Alpha Man, the Power Social Skills program, and many others. Carlos’ programs teach the essence of attraction between the sexes.

His approach is called R.E.A.L. Game, which he’s been teaching for the last 8 years with his programs and seminars. Carlos shows you how to use your authentic personality to attract the opposite sex, and make enhance your entire LIFESTYLE – to see and feel the Big Picture of attraction and success in social dynamics.

Favorite Success Quote

“The dreams of youth are the regrets of maturity.” – The Lord of Darkness, Legend

“Every man dies but not every man lives.” – William Wallace, Braveheart

Key Points

1. You Are Going to Die… So Make Damn Sure You Live

In our hyper-stimulated society, it is easy to sedate the cold realities of life with movies, porn, and drugs.

But the simple fact is… You are going to die.

I am going to die.

Everyone you love is going to die.

I don’t say this to down the mood, but rather to remind you that you only have one shot at this life, so you had better make damn sure that you are living.

The inevitability of death is actually a good thing.

It gives us ultimate freedom.

It means that no matter how badly you mess up or how highly you achieve, at the end of the day we are all headed to the same place.

So why not take a chance.

Why not do the things that light you up?

Why wouldn’t you live life to the fullest each and every day?

Every man dies, but not every man truly lives.

2. Success Requires Massive Action (Not Just Knowledge) 

We live in an era where we have more information available at the click of a button than the most learned scholars of history had in their entire libraries.

And while this might seem like a good thing, it also presents an interesting dilemma.

Because most men mistake knowledge with action.

If you want to truly succeed at the highest level, you need to take a disproportionate amount of action for every bit of knowledge that you glean.

For every hour you spend learning about health, wealth, and relationships, you should spend four hours applying that knowledge and taking action on what you have learned.

Because the simple truth is that knowledge is not power.

Applied knowledge is power.

3. Identify Men You Look Up to and Model their Qualities 

One of the greatest struggles we face as men in the 21st century is that we no longer have real men to look up to.

Everywhere we look around us, it seems that all of the great men have left this world and in their wake we are left with Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin.

This has caused many young men to wander aimlessly, confused about what it means to be a man and more importantly what it means to be a good man.

The simplest way to remedy this situation is to find men you admire and emulate their qualities.

Whether they are family friends, men from history, or even action heroes.

Find men whom you admire and do what they do.

Read autobiographies of great men to understand how they thing.

Watch movies with badass men to see how they walked, talked, and interacted with others.

Spend time around men of excellence and impeccable character and follow their lead.

At the end of the day, nothing will short cut your success more than having a role model that you can emulate.

4. Knock Women off the Pedestal 

Women do not want to be on a pedestal.

They hate it.

They are people just like you and me.

So why don’t you start acting like it.

Quit making women out to be these magical fairies and princesses and instead realize that they are flawed creatures with their own insecurities and problems just like you and men.

When you remove women from the mental pedestal that you have placed them on, you will be able to interact with them fearlessly.

You won’t be afraid to go and say hello or be your unashamed and unabashed self.

And this is when you can truly embrace your inner alpha with women.

5. Get Women Emotionally Invested

If you want to become a master at interacting with and seducing women, then you need to learn how to get them emotionally invested.

You can’t sit around interviewing them like a bad version of Larry King.

You need to get them emotionally invested in the conversation so that they feel like they have something to lose.

Tease them, joke with them, challenge them, call them out on their crap.

Most men are so scared to do this that you will immediately stand out and display a higher perceived value.

Influential Books

It by Stephen King

You Can Be Happy No Matter What by Richard Carlson

48 Laws of Power, Art of Seduction and Mastery by Robert Greene


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