How to Get Good With Women And Why It’s the “Gateway Drug” to Your Life’s Success

The trajectory of my life was about to change, and I had no idea..

It was a Saturday night.

Glancing at the surrounding faces, I saw 15 men in their twenties. Businessmen, engineers, scientists, doctors, magicians, waiters, and more.

The goal? Go out to the bars and pick up women.

“What the Hell am I getting myself into?” I thought. “This seems weird…no…weird is an understatement.”

And so began my first dive into the ‘pickup’ scene. How I got there is a story for another time. I knew about this secret world for a while, but I never thought I’d get involved.

It was too late to back out now.

After some quick introductions, we went out to the bars.

“Are you really drinking wine on a Saturday night?” I laughed. The seven hottest girls in the bar turned towards me. I locked eyes with the stereotypically-hot blonde. Barbie girl swag.

“You know what? I like you. You’re the first guy who’s had the balls to approach us all night,” she said.

“Girl please. It takes more than a few mini-skirts to scare me.”

She bought me a Patron shot.

I was in the zone.

Within three hours, I made a name for myself. I kissed a sexy blonde and showcased my ‘game’. I felt cool—and validated.

I made friends with some of the other guys too. Maybe it wasn’t so weird after all. (Okay okay, I know it still seems kind’ve weird, but I promise I’m not a freakazoid.)

I had an epiphany and its as this: You can learn how to get good with women.

Fast forward 2 years. Some of those guys are now my best friends. We’re no longer in the ‘pickup’ scene, nor do we fit into traditional roles of society.

We run businesses across the world.

One has a growing entertainment company…another is CEO and founder of an extremely successful marketing firm. One is a health coach, and helps guys with cancer. Another has a coveted position with an internet marketing company. I’ve worked with some of the top guys in the dating industry and started a copywriting business. The list goes on.

Businessman Forward Path

Our goals? Freedom…wealth…make an impact…live with passion…destroy our limits and work for our success instead of dream about it.

And our journeys began on that Saturday night.

Your journey begins now.

The “Gateway Drug” To Success?

For hardcore addicts, it’s marijuana. For gamblers, it’s a harmless game of basement poker.

For entrepreneurs…at least many I know…the “gateway drug” is how to get good with women—and getting good at it. In order to get the women you desire, you need to become an attractive man.

As strange as it may seem, there’s a correlation between getting good with women, entrepreneurship, and success in life. I’ll explain the reasons later on (don’t worry if you’re not an entrepreneur). For now, here’s a hint:

“Once I realized I could actively choose the women in my life, the same attitude trickled over to every other area. If I can choose one aspect, why not choose all?”

This realization changed my world.

I can’t promise you’ll transform into a Casanova after reading this. But you will understand the fundamentals of how to be an attractive man—and that alone gives you an edge over 99% of guys.

It’s your job to take action.

But who am I to tell you all this?

 The Man Behind The Curtain


I’m Dave Perrotta—AKA Mr. Steal-Yo-Girl (just kidding, don’t ever call me that). I’ve been called “an asshole, but in a good guy sort of way”.

When I was ten, I wanted to know how to talk to girls. Not just casual conversation, but the exact words to make them like me (cue the painful years of embarrassing failures). Now, I’m twenty-three and I say ridiculous things to women—and they dig it.

After I graduated, I noticed the “real world” was a lot different than college—especially when it came to meeting women. So I started a blog to help guys figure it out. And then I skipped grad school because I was bored with accounting. My parents were thrilled.

When I got ‘good’ with women, I transformed from a passionless accountant to a passionate entrepreneur.

Oh, and somehow I beat out 300 guys to get featured on Simple Pickup’s Project Go program, a leading international pick up community, where I got filmed picking up girls in Hollywood, CA. It was fun.

But I’m not a freakazoid pickup-artist. I’m a cool guy who’s pretty good with women. And I want to help you get pretty damn good too.

Let’s begin.

How to Naturally Attract Women

A girl can tell what type of guy you are…before you even say a word.

She knows if you’re confident and cool, or nervous and creepy. And it has little to do with your appearance.

It’s all about the vibe you give off.

If you have a confident, cool vibe, you’re naturally attractive. You enjoy instant rapport with women, instead of forced conversations.

A strong vibe conveys you’re a confident, sex-worthy man.

So how do you give off an amazing vibe that makes women swoon?

Develop the mindset of an attractive man.

The Three Fundamental Beliefs of an Attractive Man

1. Women Are Part of My Journey—Not My Destination

Or, the fun comes first, girls come second.

When I was a kid, I swore great men only did great things so they could get laid. I thought Edison was like, “Bro, once I figure out this whole light bulb thing, I’ll get more hoes than a gardener. The ladies will be SWOONING!”…Edison—just so gangster.

starker mann hebt gewichte

I never met Edison, but I’m willing to bet his motives were a little more…refined.

Like many successful men, he had an overarching purpose that drove him to persist through thousands of failures—and transform his vision into reality. He didn’t cling to his phonograph, waiting for the cute girl from the saloon to call him back.

See, women are attracted to men with purpose; a driving goal, propelling them forward despite the obstacles. Men with purpose don’t depend on women’s approval.

 Once your mindset changes, everything on the outside will change along with it. Steve Maraboli

Compare this to the conventional “nice guys,” who do everything to make women happy. He buys flowers, hides his intentions, and tries to be Mr. Wonderful. And he wonders why he repels women.

So how do you develop this mindset, that women are part of your journey, and not your destination?

You can’t fake it. You have to be a man of purpose. Find something you love, and immerse yourself in it. Give it a priority in your life and don’t let anything stop you. When you have a clear ambition—an unwavering goal—beautiful women can’t help but be attracted to you.

2. I Am Comfortable in the World of Women

Or, ya’ll can chill on Mars. I’ll be on Venus with the sexy women.

Does the thought of approaching a woman, sober, scare the living crap out of you?

You’re not alone.

Most men are uncomfortable in the world of women. They’re afraid to say the wrong thing, or make the wrong move.

But you have more in common than you think. Women like fun, adventure, and excitement. There’s a good chance you do too.

How do you become comfortable in the world of women? Think of it this way: every conversation is like an inside joke between you and the girl. You’re the cool guy she can introduce to her friends, without being embarrassed.

Imagine the “cool kid” party in high school. If you act uncomfortable, like you don’t belong, the cool kids treat you that way, and pretty much ignore you.

But if you act chill, like it’s no big deal, then you’re part of the crew.

The world of women is a lot like the “cool kid” party. A lot of guys come across as the losers, trying to get in on the party.

Walk in like you fucking own the place. It’s your party, and she’s just along for the ride.

So few guys are really comfortable in the world of women—so when she meets one, it’s like, “Okay, let’s do this.

You are comfortable in the world of women. Repeat this to yourself, every day until you believe it. When you see a beautiful woman, you know she’s waiting for a fun guy like you to approach her.

3. I am Enough

Or, I don’t need women to validate me.

Think of dating/picking up your dream girl. What excites you more? Experiencing her beauty, personality, and passion? Or bragging to your friends about getting such a ‘hottie’?

Unfortunately, for most men, it’s the latter. I used to be one of those men.

My shallow motives ruined my vibe. I was less interested in her, and more concerned with how she’d boost my reputation. If I slept with her, I’d have proof I was cool (in reality, no one cared).

The result? Lots of empty (and often bad) sex, and a gigantic ego.

When I adapted the “I am enough” mindset, everything changed.

Women know when you have an ulterior motive. You convey a threatening vibe—you’re out to get something. Your intent is unclear and you have emotional baggage.

When you believe you are ‘enough,’ you don’t need validation. Instead of relying on outside sources for happiness, you depend on yourself.

It’s a powerful mantra that accelerates your success with women—and in life.

Internalize these beliefs, and you’ll convey an incredibly attractive vibe. Women will check you out, and some will even approach you.

I used to go out to ‘pick up’ women. My nights depended on it. It was a shallow experience.

Now when I go out, fun is my priority. Women are a part of the night, but not the end goal. I dance around, cheers random people, and make funny observations.

I usually get several inviting stares. You know, that “come talk to me” gaze.

I never got these gazes before—now it happens all the time. I promise I didn’t get any sexier (ladies, feel free to object).

As I backed up these fundamental beliefs with real-world evidence, my perception shifted. And my reality followed suit. Women gravitate toward attractive men. And it doesn’t have to do with their physical appearance.

Here’s the thing: beliefs, without evidence, don’t hold their power for long. If you don’t reinforce them with reference-experiences—real-life proof—you’ll revert back to your old beliefs.

But as you gather reference experiences, you’ll go from believing to knowing.

Now that you have a solid foundation, let’s talk about how to approach and interact with beautiful women and build these experiences.

How to Meet Beautiful Women

“BRO. That chick was CRAZY. She walked away like TWO minutes after I started talking to her.”

You’ve heard it before. The drunk dude who stumbles up to girls and slurs his words; the ‘nice guy’ who just wants to have a ‘nice’ conversation; the interview-mode guy who asks 21 questions; the weird pickup-artist guy who does magic tricks (much less prevalent). They get rejected—fast.

Flirtatious young girls staring at handsome guy

Because they’re doing it wrong.

Women don’t like boring, normal, and creepy. They like fun, adventure, and excitement.

If you don’t add value, you suck away their fun. Don’t be a fun-leech.

So how do you approach an attractive woman? I could write a ton about each of these things, and probably will. But for now, here’s a quick breakdown:

Do These 5 Things When You Approach Women

1. Make Playful Eye Contact

Eye contact is hard to explain through writing. I don’t want you gawking at women like you’re in a one-sided staring contest. Don’t gawk and stalk, bro.

When you make eye contact with a woman, you want to convey you’re a sexual man with a ton of value. You’re the prize. Is she fun? What does she have to offer?

Try some different levels of eye contact in the mirror (in the least creepy way possible).

2. Smile

Nobody likes the tough guy. Stop trying to look miserable.

Flash those pearly whites. You’re comfortable in the world of women. Smile like you’re in on the joke.

3. Say Something

There’s three ways you can do this:

-State your intentions and tell her you think she’s beautiful/cute/sexy.

-Just casually say “Hi, what’s up?”

-Say something random and ridiculous.

I like being ridiculous because it’s funny.

4. Use “Down-Talk”

When men speak to attractive women, they’re often nervous. When they get nervous, their voice is higher-pitched—and it’s an instant turn-off for women.

Practice speaking from your chest and projecting your voice. I call this ‘down-talk.’ When you speak with confidence, you make a great first impression.

5. Stay Grounded

If you fidget around, you’ll make the girl uncomfortable. Don’t walk from side to side, tap your leg, or any other weird thing you can think of.

The best way to stay grounded is to slightly lean back on one leg, while the other leg is slightly forward.

Now that you’ve approached the girl, what’s next?

Have you ever had an interaction with a girl turn from amazing to stagnant? You had a great connection, but somehow you fell into boring conversation—and now you can sense her interest fading fast.

Most men don’t approach women because they’re afraid of this. They don’t know how to hold the conversation.

And even when the conversation flows, there’s something missing.

Let’s dive in.

How to Never Run Out of Things to Say

I’ll let you in on a little secret. I never run out of things to say. It’s not because I have millions of stock lines for every situation. Nope. Because that’d be weird as Hell.

I’ve figured out a conversation hack so simple, you’ll smack yourself for not thinking of it.

Happy friends at cocktail bar enjoy drinks

Have you ever wanted to say something, but stopped yourself short because your brain told you it was risky…maybe even inappropriate?

I say that thing.

I call it “being unfiltered.”

It’s simple. Instead of saying the ‘safe thing’, I say whatever the fuck I want.

I’ll make random statements and observations. The result is ridiculous and unpredictable. And it makes the conversation a LOT more fun.

Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. Marilyn Monroe

If I’m wearing my coat and sweater in the bar, and a girl asks why I have so many layers on… I don’t say “I’m cold.” I say “I’m just trying to cover up my insecurities.”

Instead of, “Oh, you’re from Georgia? Cool!” I’ll say, “Damn girl. Southern Belles make my heart ring. This is perfect for me.”

These random real-life examples transformed conversations from normal to ridiculous and fun. They were the funniest things in my mind at the moment.

It really boils down to this: I think of something ridiculous in the situation, blurt it out, and laugh (sometimes hysterically), with no regard for the girl’s reaction.

And they love it. Why? It’s funny, yes. But mainly because it’s obvious I don’t need her approval. I do it for my own self-amusement.

I don’t just do this with words though. If I want to kiss a girl, I go for it. If she rejects me, I shrug it off and go for the kiss ten minutes later. Because what’s there to be afraid of? “Oh nooo! I went for the kiss. Now she knows I have a dick.”

It doesn’t make sense.

When you filter yourself, you’re concerned with the girl’s reaction. You walk on eggshells, hoping you don’t do anything she doesn’t approve of. Ipso facto, you’re not being genuine.

Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.
Lao Tzu

When women tell you to “be yourself,” they want the ‘unfiltered you’ who doesn’t hold back. Not the ‘polite you’, who seeks their approval.

Silence your inner critic. Tell the awkward joke. Go for the kiss at the wrong time. Live a little. Your conversations will flow and your interactions will be exciting.

Now that you’ve approached and silenced your inner critic, there’s one more thing you need to know.

How to Lead

Indecisiveness will destroy a woman’s attraction for you. It’s your responsibility to lead.

If you’ve just met her, don’t stand in the same place for three hours. If you’re at the bar, take her hand and bring her to the dance floor. And then back to the bar for a drink. And then back to the dance floor. And then to get pizza afterwards. And then…well, you get my point.

Instead of asking what she wants to do for a date, suggest plans. Make a decision.

Confident men take initiative and lead.

Chances are, you’ve missed opportunities with women because you didn’t lead them. They hoped you’d make a move…and you didn’t. And it disappointed them.

Stop asking for permission. Have a fucking edge…some backbone. Don’t be a spine donor all your life.

All of this boils down to being a man.

There you have it. If you’ve read all the way through this manifesto, you’re ahead of 99% of men. You understand how to meet beautiful women, and how to develop the mindset and vibe of an attractive man.

Most men depend on their social circle to meet women. When you’re an attractive man, you can meet women anywhere. You control your dating life.

It’s up to you to take action and meet the women you desire. As you take action, you’ll get references experiences to reinforce the core beliefs. You’ll embrace your authentic manhood.

And you’ll set the wheels in motion for something more amazing to happen. Your life will never be the same.

The Gateway Drug to Your Life’s Success

Nobody talks about it, and yet it’s so obvious.

At its very core, getting good with women requires you to take action, face rejection, and question yourself.

You no longer hope for beautiful women to walk into your life; instead, you’re responsible for your success.

Driving on empty road towards the sun

This causes a shift in consciousness. You move from helpless to courageous.

As you realize the power of taking action, you thirst for more out of life.

For passion…adventure…excitement…abundance.

You have control. This is YOUR fu#king life.

The habit of self-improvement transfers to other areas. You begin to strive for career, health, and financial success.

You think differently. New possibilities emerge.

People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Why work a crappy job when you can quit, take action, learn skills, and build a business that adds value to the world and creates abundance in your life?

Why go to college when you can teach yourself everything you need to know in months…instead of years…and saves tens of thousands of dollars?

Maybe you never considered entrepreneurship before. Now it’s a viable option.

Your limits become obstacles. And then you destroy them

The Breakthrough

Most people never go for what they really want in life. They bury their true passions and desires and replace them with…interests.

Ignoring their intuition, they grit their teeth through years of work in hopes that something will change. One day, somebody will swoop in and save them, and help them unleash their passions onto the world…to fulfill the potential they feel deep in their core.

But it never happens. So they go on in quiet desperation.


People want to do great things, but aren’t really sure how to operate outside the realm of what society thinks is possible.

But with just one small breakthrough, they’d see the bullshit of society’s limitations.

Getting good with women is one of those breakthroughs.

I’ve seen evidence in my life and many others—quitting their jobs, traveling, and building businesses that impact the world.

What starts as meeting beautiful women…becomes a journey of self-development, passion, and a burning desire to live life on your terms.

It’s not just about attracting women. It never was.

But that just might be the ‘gateway drug’ that catapults you to the next level—and changes the way you think. Forever.

So yeah…chew on that one the next time you talk to a pretty girl.

Dave Perrotta is a copywriter, dating coach, and overall sarcastic a**hole. His life is one gigantic inside joke, and you’re in on it. When he’s not writing for, he’s helping guys master their dating lives and unleash their authenticity. You can reach him at dave{at}

5 Responses to How to Get Good With Women And Why It’s the “Gateway Drug” to Your Life’s Success

  1. Terry March 5, 2014 at 4:58 am #

    Wow this was deep. Really helped me understand the mindsets, something I had trouble with before. Very unique take on talking to women as well. Great article. Thanks for the contribution Dave!

    • Dave P March 12, 2014 at 12:00 am #

      Thanks terry,

      Glad you liked it. Yeah, mindsets are extremely important, both with women and in life. That’s why getting good with women leads down this crazy path of self improvement

  2. John March 11, 2014 at 11:42 pm #

    I can’t tell you how many men can benefit from reading this article. From the philosophy to the practicalities of living a more productive life, it explains how the cards will fall into place if you have your shit straight. I’ll have to try the 5 steps next time I’m out.

  3. Bruno Babic @PickUpFlow March 28, 2014 at 1:19 am #

    Hey Dave, your article so strongly resonates with me and it’s definitely one of the most inspiring pieces of high value content on the subjects of dating and personal development that I’ve ever read.

    Here’re my two cents. Since you’ve pretty much covered it all, I’d just like to add a couple of things related to eye contact flirting and body language.

    I like the way you’ve related the playful mindset to eye contact because the connection between the two is the key to using one of the most powerful eye contact flirting techniques that’s known as “smiling eyes.”

    The way you can use your “smiling eyes” is not through actually smiling but just through transferring your playful thoughts from your eyes directly into hers as if you’re trying to tell her something down the lines:

    “You’re so adorable and cute but I’ve just met you and I’m not thinking of sleeping with you yet.”

    By the way, when I used this eye contact flirting technique for the first time, it helped me powerfully attract a hot girl while slowly walking towards her with no intention of actually approaching her so that she soon started passionately flirting with me almost before I even said a word to her.

    At the time I experienced this flow state of being able to effortlessly attract a random woman and make her chase me, I didn’t know that I was actually using my “smiling eyes.” Only a few months later when I got on my self-improvement journey where I was studying the alpha male body language in depth, I happily found out that I wasn’t the only one benefiting from this super easy but super powerful eye contact flirting technique.

    In addition to using your eye contact as your attraction tool, there’s another type of body language that’s largely ignored and overlooked by most guys out there. That’s negative body language.

    The truth behind the attraction power of negative body language is that when used in combo with your playful lines, it helps you optimally project your non-neediness toward the woman that you’re interacting with. Negative body language is all about you making sure that during your conversation with the woman that you’ve just met, you don’t face her with your whole body.

    Negative body language can be demonstrated in different ways like standing or sitting side by side with a woman, or standing next to her the way your right shoulder and her left shoulder make up the angle of 90 degrees so that neither of you are forced to directly face each other.

    Another way of using your negative body language is by playfully turning your body away from the woman for 2-3 seconds or by playfully facing away from her for a second immediately after you’ve said your playful thing to her.

    If you like to be cocky and playful with women, then I warmly recommend that you try out using your negative body language in combo with saying your banter lines because this combo is proven to help guys make women chase them.

    So, for example, you could walk up to a hot woman and say to her: “So, you’ve come all the way over here to just flirt with me?” Immediately after you say this banter line and get her laughing at it, you playfully turn your body away from her for 2-3 seconds and kind of try to smile at her over your shoulder. After the 3 seconds are gone, you slowly turn back around and face her again. By the way, you completely turn back around and face her again, she’ll try very hard to get back your attention.

    In short, she’ll be officially chasing you.

    OK, these are my two cents. Hope you’ve found my comment helpful and insightful in the context of harnessing the attraction power of body language when meeting women.

    Bruno Babic @PickUpFlow

  4. Jason Rafferty May 27, 2014 at 9:40 pm #

    Nice article, I can attest to having found very similar results after studying, practicing, failing, and learning a lot in regards to meeting women. I’m your age, actually, funny, we’ve probably had a similar trajectory. I’ve now just started being an entrepreneur as well, as a full-time artist. And have had an amazing attractive, intelligent, and creative girlfriend for the last four years.