Do you remember the girl that made you feel the way that no one else could? The energy, excitement and sexual tension that could never fade away. Do you want to make her feel that way about you too?
Can you think of a woman that you so badly want to be with right now.
Naked. Passion. Music. All night…
Imagine being with this dream girl, getting along just perfect, deeply in love, and having passionate sex every day. No fights or arguing just absolute pleasure and ecstasy everyday.
If any of the above sparks your interest then you need to read this article because it’s not impossible to achieve.
I am going to help make this a reality for you.
You see, so much about becoming good with women and dating is about becoming good with yourself. Being a man is about reaching your own personal apex. It’s about becoming the best version of yourself, improving your confidence, honing your social skills and understanding female psyche.
Warning: This article is long, but if you don’t read this article you may experience:
- being friend-zoned by the women you desire
- massive amounts of sexual frustration
- excessive porn use and chronic masturbation
- depression, loneliness and social anxiety
- being cheated on by the woman you love
- girlfriend breaking up with you after several years for another man (possibly your friend)
Spend the next half hour reading this article or you may experience a lifetime of mediocrity with women, settling for less than you deserve and boring sex to the point where Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones is more pleasurable than sex..
You only live once so let’s make the best of our relationships with women. I assure you that at the end of this article you will have a new understanding of women and experience significant improvements with women and dating.
I will show you what no other article or website would ever dare show you for free: what women actually respond to.
Use this article as a guide. Bookmark it. Share it with friends.
Lesson 1: Money & Looks are Constructs of Society
Money and good looks will get the woman’s attention, but that is all. The media has done a great job at making you believe in the erroneous assumption that money will get you your dream girl.
When you use money to get a woman out to nice dinners and to buy her gifts too early in the relationship, the woman will begin to think the man is trying to BUY her. Women see this as manipulation… and a LACK OF CONFIDENCE. Both these things are attraction killers. The woman may still answer your calls and let you take her out, but that is simply because she enjoys free shit.
And who doesn’t?! Think about it.
You take this woman out and buy her stuff. You take her to a nice dinner. And then she heads home and meets the guy she really wants to be with. This guy does nothing for her except hang out and have fun with her, yet he is the one sleeping with her while the other guy just dropped $100+ in one night on a date.
After a certain point, money is meaningless. It ceases to be the goal. The game is what counts. – Aristotle Onassis
Women want men who have the confidence to know that he can please her without pulling out his wallet for everything. Very few men know this, and the rich guy who worked his ass off for the sole purpose of attracting women through power cannot even comprehend this fact. If you spend too much money on a woman or do too many favors for her, you are subtly telling her that your pocketbook is ALL YOU HAVE TO OFFER.
Personality is the key to being good with women and dating. It’s organic, it’s natural, and it’s who you are.
Deep down, women are attracted to your personality more-so than any other trait of a man. When you build up your personality so high women will chase you, want to have your babies and will get extremely pissed off and depressed if you date them for years and don’t marry them.
Lesson 2: The Paradox of Mr. Nice Guy and the Inner Wussy
When you ask a woman what she want’s in a man one of the first thing she’ll say is “a nice guy”. Yes, it’s what women want, but it’s not what they respond to. And I am not suggesting that you go completely 180 right now and turn into an arrogant asshole either.
Ok, you eat Snickers right? Deep down in there is the soft chewy center of a man. It’s not a bad thing to be soft inside, but just be aware that women are not necessarily ATTRACTED to the soft, limp man until she’s first seen the HARD side of him.
Because when you’re soft (expressing feminine character), you put the woman above you on a pedestal (forcing her to take on the masculine role). Typically, a woman can only feel attraction for a man when she is in her feminine, therefore as a man you need to step into the masculine dominant role.
You become soft because you have the scarcity mentality. You’re not thinking about the big picture. You’re looking at the few trees and missing the entire damn forest. You think there are just a few women out there and there’s nothing you can do about it. You think: “There is NOBODY out there for me so I better treat this one girl amazing because I don’t know when I will ever experience this again”.
Having a low opinion of yourself is not “modesty”. It’s self-destruction. Holding your uniqueness in high regard is not “egotism”. It’s a necessary precondition to happiness and success. – Bobbe Sommer
When you start thinking like this, you start liking girls that remotely shows any signs of interest in you. You think you can’t create that same connection with another girl, so you settle for less than you deserve and you don’t even know it.
YOU NEED TO REMOVE THE SCARCITY MENTALITY FROM YOUR LIFE AND SWITCH TO THE ABUNDANCE MENTALITY.
It is strictly social conditioning.
There is more than one girl that you can have this feeling with. In fact, there are billions of women out there. And you can date these women if you’d only kill the inner nice guy inside of you and take women off the damn pedestal you hand crafted out of gold for her.
Stop placing women on pedestals!
Check this out: Let’s say you meet a chill guy as a friend and then after only a few days he started buying you a bunch of shit and paying for all your food and drinks. Then texts to make sure you got home ok, and “likes” all your facebook posts. What a lame dude..
Do you know what the pedestal does? It allows women to recline into the comfort you lavish them with, put their foot in your mouth that gives too many damn compliments, buys too many gifts, always being available and lets her walk all over you. Too early man…
Always be a gentleman, yet don’t be a little bitch. Women will only respect you for how much you respect yourself.
Believe it or not, women hate being put on a pedestal! When you put women on pedestals, you see them as an overly valued commodity and not as a regular human being, which further pushes her away and into the arms of another man who respects himself.
Put yourself in the girl’s shoes…
Imagine a girl chasing you. She is constantly calling you. Every damn morning you get a text and you only hung out twice. She gets upset when you chill with your friends and you are not even dating. She left you an emotional voice mail when you forgot to respond to her text one time…This girl is crazy’ right? That’s the same as the nice needy guy. Don’t be that guy!
Nothing scares a woman off faster than a guy who becomes emotionally involved way too quickly. It is desperate, and makes the girl think things like: “What is wrong with this guy? Why is he in love with me already? Why is he pausing his life for me when we just met? Something must be wrong with him! I’ll stop talking to him.”
The guys that care too much don’t create sentiments of allure because guys that care too much are telling women– through concern, through availability, through his being there just a little too much- that he is in fact, not special or unique at all. He is just kinda there. He is more available than hydrogen, more common than dirt, and freer to talk to girl than the operator. But a smooth operator he is not..
Ultimately, the girl wants the guy that doesn’t need her, but wants her. Ideally, the guy wants her really bad. But NEVER should he want her so much that he’ll start putting her on a pedestal and start valuing her over himself.
Lesson 3: Become Good with All Women
High quality women only date high quality men.
Now, to attain a relationship with the woman of your dreams, you need to create an ABUNDANCE MENTALITY.
When you’re coming from this frame of mind, you demonstrate that you are a man of value. A man who has options is a man with power. Being a man of value is not something you can fake with little tricks and gimmicks, it’s something you are or you aren’t.
Go out and meet new women all the damn time. Stop rejecting yourself by not even talking to women you see all around you.
When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears. – Anthony Robbins
Socialize with more women, date more women, have sex with more women (never cheat). A lot of guys are put off by socializing with women they wouldn’t normally date. This is a weak mentality of worrying about what others think. Listen up man I have news for you: If you want to be good with high quality women, you need to be good with all women.
Take surfing for example: During the course of learning how to surf, you can’t just say, “I only want to surf 10 foot waves. Anything lower is a waste of my time..” NO! You have to be good with all waves. No matter how wide, how tall, or how scary, you must try to ride them all in all environments. Just like surfing, with continuous practice, you can become good with women and dating.
See, once you know and understand the kinds of personality traits that attract women, then you focus on cultivating those traits in yourself. Get in touch with your adventurous side and make an effort to develop your sense of humor, self confidence and social skills. The more you improve yourself, the more high quality women will want you.
Lesson 4: Stop Being a Logical Lawyer
You will never, ever logically convince a girl to feel attraction for you. Telling a woman about your fancy car, nice house, big paycheck, or even your ability in bed will never go over well with a woman. This is the part that many rich guys just don’t seem to understand.
Women are emotional. Men are logical.
To get better with women and dating you must begin to speak their language. You must get on their emotional wave length. Women like you because of the vibe you give off. The way you make them feel is everything. It is all they will remember about you.
All God does is watch us and kills us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring. – Chuck Palahniuk
When you are with a woman, you are not in court okay. Most men are way too logical…If you have struggled with women and dating in the past, then you’re probably way too logical. Always think less logic and more emotions.
Don’t change her mind. Change her mood!
Those are words to live by…If you want something from a woman then explaining it to her will not work. Change her mood and her mind by changing her emotions.
If you want to take a girl out and you just tell her let’s go to the new Italian restaurant and she responds, “Ugghhhh”, “Mehhhh”, or “Ummm, ok” she is already bored…The better alternative would be to grab her and sweep her off her feet. Say something with bravado like: “Be ready by 7pm! We’re going to experience Italy tonight.” In this scene, she’s thinking: “O-M-G! this is new and exciting. What dress will I wear?” You cannot logically explain your way to sweep a woman off their feet. It’s done through emotions.
Stimulate her emotions. Have fun. Be the wild man she can’t control, but so badly wants to tame. Make sure they are reacting to you. She will want to go out with you again because of the vibe, energy, and emotions you give off and the adventures you create for her. Energy creates motion, motion creates emotions, and women are highly emotional beings.
Remember, ultimately a woman is attracted to you because of your personality and the emotions you create in her mind. You need to show your personality. Let it shine. Be someone. Be EVENTFUL. Go out and have a freakin’ blast!
Lesson 5: Be the Prize and Instantly Boost Your Value
Let her chase you. Be a challenge. All humans want what they cannot have.
Why do people want diamonds? It’s just a rock. However, it is rare rock. And shiny perhaps. The fact that it is rare and aesthetically pleasing fits exactly within the parameters of stuff people want. Things that are rare are not easily obtained. When things are not easily obtained, everybody wants those things and they go up in value. Humans have egos, and egos have the need to be unique and distinct from other egos.
I conceive that the great part of the miseries of mankind are brought upon them by false estimates they have made of the value of things. – Benjamin Franklin
Women are not to be valued more than your own life. A woman will not chase you if you view her as the prize. No. Enough of that. You are the damn prize!
It’s what she undeniably wants.
Women want you to be interesting. Women want a challenge. It’s fun for them. Games are fun and challenging, and that’s why you should be more playful.
Beautiful women are used to men fawning over any sign of interest from them. If you have the balls to hesitate on returning such a sign, you send a powerful message about how self-confident you are and how little you need from her.
The 3 mindsets to have with women you really like:
1. You want the girl, but you don’t need her.
2. You want the girl, but you don’t need her.
3. You want the girl, but you don’t need her.
No, the above is not a typo. It’s just that important.
Furthermore, attraction isn’t something you decide upon—it’s an uncontrollable reaction to the right qualities. Attraction is sub-conscious, not conscious. When you hit the right emotional triggers, the attraction follows. There are no if’s, and’s, or but’s…when you hit her emotional attraction triggers she will be sexually attracted to you.
It’s a compulsion on her part, not a decision. One surefire way to kill the attraction impulse before it grows is to appear worried about whether or not she likes you (lack of confidence, scarcity mentality, pedestal thinking).
Assume she does, and she will. When a woman senses that you’re a tough catch, your value increases in her eyes. She doesn’t want the guy that any pretty girl can sway—she wants the one that can’t be tamed, the wild one, the one who couldn’t care less about the girls that come and go. She wants the mystery that not just anyone can unravel, but only her.
Lesson 6: It’s a Numbers Game
Look, to meet and attract beautiful women you have to realize one thing: it’s a numbers game and not every girl you talk to is going like you no matter how good you get with women and dating.
In the 20-35 age demographic, the breakdown is:
- 1/3 of girls are in a relationship
- 1/3 of girls are just not interested
- 1/3 of girls are open (woohoo!)
There will be some girls that do not like you and there’s nothing you can do about it. And depending on how you can handle this dilemma will determine how long you can last in this game.
A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success. – Bo Bennett
Acknowledge this. Accept this. But, realize this is a good thing. Know that the more you build yourself up to become the man you want to be, the less of this you will see. Keep in mind there is no man, not even the best pick up artist in the world or billionaire that can sweep any woman off their feet. Nobody’s perfect.
The key is that you can’t let this get to you.
You can’t let it bring you down and prevent you from moving forward to the next girl. Always keep the abundance mindset in your thoughts both consciously and subconsciously.
There are billions of women out there, many of whom who would love to be with you! You just need to put yourself out there, take action and not take rejection so seriously.
Fall down 7, Get up 8.
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Lesson 7: If you want a girl, then go get her.
Girls like guys who make moves like Jagger. Women want men who are aggressive and go after whatever they want in life. Stand up, go after what you want, and get what you want. If you are rejected, then respectfully bow out and keep going on to the next.
See, a lot of guys simply reject themselves. They don’t even give a woman the chance to reject them. They do this by not going out, not following up with numbers, not trying to set a date, not escalating, allowing themselves to be friend-zoned. Every shot you don’t take in this game is a missed shot. Do not do this! Do not ever reject yourself!
Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. – Abraham Lincoln
Women want men who go after what they want. Never hide your interest in a girl. She may reject you at first. Keep going. Try again later. Persistence does pay off. It may seem annoying at first, but the end result will be either you get the girl you want or you don’t and nothing more or less. It really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.
Success is good because it is SUCCESS. Failure is also good because you learn from it and then it becomes SUCCESS. Just think of it that way.
Nothing bad can happen. Remember, it’s all a learning experience. Go after what you want in life and don’t let anything stop you. Take action. Be decisive in life and your results will come.
It’s the law of the universe (or did I just make that up).
Women want men who will change the world around them. Men who change the world take massive action and persist against all odds.
Lesson 8: Be a Purpose Driven Man
What women really love is a guy that has ambitions and goals in life. A man who goes for his dreams and lives purposefully is also a man with the power to allure. You must become a man who knows who he is, knows what he wants, and knows that he has the determination to get there. It could be in school, career, business, or even just a hobby.
I want to live my life in such a way that when I get out of bed in the morning the devil says, “aw shit, he’s up! – Steve Maraboli
Do not leave things to luck, guessing or wishing. Having passion in life is absolutely vital. Maybe your mission is to just enjoy life to the fullest. Perhaps you simply want to enjoy spending time with your friends and family, playing sports, traveling the globe. Or you simply want to enjoy nature, art, music and more. That is great. Just show the women you want in your life that you have many things going on besides them.
Choose to be alive and maximize every damn second of life.
The past is the past and the future is not something to live for. You must understand that this present moment is the best moment of your life.
Listen, you don’t need to be a millionaire, you just need to have that drive to be more, do more and want more. Go after the things you want in life and let her know that those are your priorities. She can come along for the adventure if she wants to, but you’ve got work to do and you’re never going to abandon your dreams for her. She is not your path and purpose in life.
This is so important because all too often girls will come into a man’s life and the man will divert his purpose to the girl. Impressing and keeping the girl becomes the man’s mission. This is pedestal thinking and scarcity mentality! And this ultimately pushes the girl further away into another man’s arms. She wants to chase you, so let her.
You are the prize on your path and purpose in life, always remember that.
Lesson 9: Be Your Best Self
Men tend to make the mistake of thinking that attractiveness solely means aesthetically pleasing. In reality, women determine if a man is attractive through the whole picture: personality, goals, drive, look, fitness, dress, grooming, hygiene, and status. They don’t just simply look at your face and think, “oh he is sexy I want to have babies and spend the rest of my life with him.”
No they are looking at the whole package as they should.
The good thing is that almost every man can present himself in an attractive way. It really doesn’t matter how good your genes are. No matter how tall, small, fat, thin, you are, you can always be successful with women and dating.
Your level of success is proportional to your level of personal development – Hal Elrod
Most of the successful men with women and dating that have ever lived would never have won a beauty pageant; they simply did the most with what they were born with. These men were confident, they dressed well, they maximized their strengths, had a well developed personality and they were well groomed.
You don’t have to be the best looking guy, but you have to take care of yourself. Practice confident body language and try to stand out with your own unique style. Shower regularly, clean your nails, shave, no weird beard, no neck hair, get a new hairstyle, maintain white teeth, straighten your teeth, get a natural tan, get inspiration from fashion magazines, go to the gym 4x per week, eat nutritious food, and clean your place.
But do not do these things for her, do these things for YOURSELF, because a man should have the ambition and drive to motivate himself.
See, you stack the odds in your favor by constantly improving your personal appearance. When you make an effort to get in shape, maintain great hygiene, and keep your wardrobe and hairstyle updated, looking great is only a fraction of the benefits you will accumulate. You’ll also quickly build your confidence and women will begin to notice.
Lesson 10: You Must Feel Entitled to the Woman You Want
Entitlement is knowing that you are the best possible person a girl could have. When you speak from the core, this comes out as 100% authentic and the girl feels it. If you don’t feel entitled then you start caring too much about the girl, feeling too self conscious, nervous and fidgety when interacting with the woman.
Psychologists found that people ended up dating other people of similar attractiveness to them. “you attract who you are.” So, a guy who is a 7 will date girls that are 7′s. A guy who’s a 10 will date girls who are 10′s.
But, here’s the interesting part: a guy’s value on the 1-10 scale is made up by his own beliefs system whereas society unfortunately dictates a girl’s value mostly by her beauty. By looking hot, she receives external validation from society and, from that validation, she behaves appropriately as a 10.
So, when a guy that believes he’s a 6 approaches a girl that’s an 8, he doesn’t feel entitled. He is shaky. Deep down, he doesn’t believe in himself and that she’ll be better off with someone else. If he does happen to get her, he’ll be super happy because he got a woman out of his league. By being with her, he’s constantly sucking value because he’s always looking for reassurance and validation that she won’t leave him. Therefore, she is out of his league after all and will leave to find a man who feels more entitled to her.
So how do you get entitlement with the women you want?
1. Change your environment so that you are consistently meeting the women you want on a regular basis. This becomes the new norm. If you live in an area where beautiful women are scarce (small suburban city) then yes this will make it hard for you to ask her out, but if it’s in abundance (Los Angeles) you will feel like its normal.
2. Understand that women are regular people who eat, shit, bitch, sleep and occasionally go through the McDonalds drive through at midnight just like you do. They are not special goddesses from heaven. And in 7-10 years most of her physical beauty will fade away.
3. Take more action and get more positive reference experiences with the women you want so you begin to reinforce your current belief system.
4. Improve your overall life. Build your personality, hit the gym, advance in your career or build your business, be more social and learn to just have fun.
Lesson 11: Playful Communication
The way you communicate with women will determine whether you are viewed as a potential friend or lover (this happens in less than 30 seconds too).
Communication goes hand and hand with your personality. An attractive man is able to communicate and present a masculine energy. He is able to sexually excite women, to touch them on an emotional level. He does this by carrying himself with total confidence, ease and playful cockiness.
The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives. – Anthony Robbins
By learning how to communicate with a cute girl, aka flirting, you set the underlying tone of the interaction as fun and playful. When you show a woman that she has no sexual power over you, this makes her excited. She begins to view you as a challenge, her best opportunity and begins to seek validation from you.
In the beginning it’s important to simply build and release tension (push/pulls). Take an interaction two steps forward and then one step back. Play with the things she gives you (words or actions); call her a dork, tell her she’s not making the cut then later switch it up and say I like you when she says something silly.
Show that you have a well-developed sense of humor, don’t take anything too serious, know how to laugh at yourself, and at the rest of the world.
A couple other key points for communication are your vocal tonality and body language. Know that what you have to say is valuable, purely because it comes from you. But also remember how you say it. Slow down when you speak, enunciate, increase your volume, and deepen the tone of your voice.
Practice good body language by taking up space, standing up straight, having your shoulders back, chest out and head straight. Learn strong eye contact, never be the first person to look away. Have slow, comfortable and relaxed movements, no nervous fidgeting or blinking.
Lean back in a conversation and allow other people to lean into you. Practice your ability to tell stories, build rapport, and direct more attention towards yourself for the sole purpose of giving value to the interaction.
In a relationship you want to have strong lines of open communication between the both of you. Never let anything build up or hold resentment towards each other. Speak your mind confidently and thoughtfully to your partner.
If you let something go unspoken then you’ll always be holding something against your partner which will hinder your ability to have a good time together. Get out of your head and just say it.
Lesson 12: Be the Master and Commander
Women want to be with leaders. Leaders are a dying breed of men. Women know this, so when a woman spots a leader she instinctively knows he’s someone worth knowing.
Hey, where do you want to eat? Where should we go this weekend? What are we going to do about this!? And other women questions need answering. You need to make a decision. Sometimes she’s not sure and you are there to reassure here. You need to know what the fuck you’re doing because she needs to know everything is going to be alright. She could be as Independent Woman as Beyonce, but she still needs Jay-Z to take care of her bcuz it’s a hard knock life, bay-beh.
Some men avoid taking the lead because they don’t want to be criticized. They think they’re playing it safe. But in playing it safe, you’re playing it wrong. You’re not being alpha. A man should say, “I’ll handle it,” and take the initiative to find a solution. Everybody wants to be the guy that can handle his shit.
A man needs to make decisions and take responsibility for the outcome. If he’s reluctant to make decisions, she may resent him. She doesn’t want someone controlling her, but she also doesn’t want someone who leaves every decision to her. Balance is the key.
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women. – Groucho Marx
A TRUE LEADER can lead without any followers. He doesn’t mind if people go in the direction that HE CHOOSES but he doesn’t NEED them to follow because he would do it anyways.
He doesn’t manipulate or control others into going where he wants to go. He simply goes WITHOUT PERMISSION, on his own accord, in the direction he desires.
A true leader goes without the approval of the pack. It takes courage and strength to push beyond group mentality because as humans we fear losing approval of others (it’s hardwired into us).
If you don’t make the decisions in a relationship, she’ll automatically begin to think that she is wearing the pants. If your woman starts wearing the pants, then the following will happen:
Loss of respect –> Loss of attraction –> Loss of sex –> Disconnecting herself from relationship = Cheating or Break up
Prevent the above from ever happening: MAKE THE DECISIONS. BE A MAN. LEAD.
Lesson 13: Show Appreciation
Now, the key with this is to not go overboard. See showing appreciation is necessary for when she does a little extra.
“Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid” – Fyodor Dostoyevsky
If you don’t appreciate the little things a girl does for you, then she will slowly stop doing it and may even resent you for not acknowledging her efforts. And by the time she mentions “you don’t even appreciate this”.
It is simply too late. You don’t need to go overboard with appreciation comments, but you do need to show that you appreciate the things she does for you. A simple smile, a kiss and a “I like when you” will go a long way and keep more of it coming.
Lesson 14: Stay Calm
Always stay calm. You are a rock. You are her rock. She chose you because you’re hard and steady enough to produce a rock on her hand when she needs it?
Be calm when she becomes emotional. All women are emotional to an extent. You can’t change it. There is no point in even trying. But also, do not run away from the situation. This doesn’t work either and she’ll resent you for it. What you must do is face her head-on like a MAN. Do not react to her. She’s testing to see whether you can be pulled into her un-needed drama.
She wants to see if she can bring shitstorms into your life- don’t give in. A hallmark of a great man is composure.
Obviously, if it’s a SERIOUS issue, than handle it with compassion and sincerity. Otherwise, staying calm, humor and positivity is usually the way to go 90% of the time.
Things Men Should Do ALL THE TIME
Lesson 15: Authenticity
While authenticity is somewhat of a vague concept, think about it like this: An authentic man lives in the reality he creates. He sucks other people into it because he acts congruent, coherent and convincing. The man he presents on the outside is the same guy that prevails inside him. Don’t construct your sense of reality around external factors or the reactions of other people. Never be impressed by outward symbols, status or good looks. Be impressed by the value of someone’s character.
Authenticity is simply how real and genuine you are in your dealings with other people and with yourself. There is nothing more alarming for a woman than a guy who acts fake or a man who is in-congruent with his intentions.
To be nobody but myself-in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make me somebody else-means to fight the hardest battle any human can fight, and never stop fighting. – e.e. cummings
Authenticity is about being honest and able to stand up for your ideas in appropriate ways in appropriate contexts. You are not scared of disapproval and not changing your opinion or code of conduct so that people will like you.
Never lie; it cheapens your value and your relations with other people. When you are honest, upfront, and direct about your intentions, you are much more attractive. It is very powerful to simply state what you want and to go for it without hesitation.
Lesson 16: Be Social and Have Fun
Here are 5 easy ways to become more social and to have fun doing it.
1. Listen. You must be focused 100% on the social conversation and not simply thinking about what you are going to say next. Be genuine. If the person who is talking is interesting, be interested. If the content is boring, still listen. Sometimes they talk 75% of the time and you talk 25% of the time. Sometimes you talk for a majority of the conversation. There are no scripts with this, just flow.
2. Stay Present. You cannot be social if you are thinking about the past or the future. You must be in the now. LIVE IN THE NOW. This increases your self-awareness and allows you to be present, active, and therefore, sociable in every situation.
the future depends on what you do today – Gandhi
3. Humor. Making people laugh is attractive, not only to women, but to everybody. Insert jokes where you can. Heck, insert jokes often. Don’t be the comedian of the group, but show that you aren’t a robot. Everyone likes the man who doesn’t take life too seriously and can have fun in the moment. If people are laughing, then you’re doing it right. Not everything you say will be funny, but don’t let this stop you.
4. Charisma. You emit an energy wherever you go. Consistently going out will give you a passion for socializing, communicating with others, and having a powerful avenue for conveying your personality onto others. By exercising your social muscle, you enable yourself to develop your charisma. Bill Clinton epitomizes charisma. Many people remember a minute with the former president forever. This is what you are striving for.
5. Strong Eye Contact. Eye contact is an indicator of a strong alpha male who emanates strength, lust, and sex. So much of social interaction is just about having strong eye contact and holding your frame. Practice and learn to control your eye contact in all interactions, especially with women and dating.
Quick suggestions for improving communication and social skills:
- Toastmasters International
- Improv classes
- Stand up comedy classes
- Speed dating
- Talk to 3 strangers per day for 1 minute each
Lesson 17: Stop Taking Value and Start Giving More Value
Think about the people you interact with in life. Have you ever met somebody who just made you smile, feel better about yourself, or elicited positive emotions? That’s value. Such people add value to your life by making you feel positive emotions.
Giving value can be as simple as a smile. It can be contributing to a conversation by having a unique or interesting opinion. Or it can be as easy as making a girl feel attractive and sexy.
It is vital that you are a relaxed, non-needy guy if you want to add value. Once you are relaxed and non-needy, everything you say will be value giving. Giving value is when you’ve done something to make another person feel good because you wanted to.
Happiness doesn’t result from what we get, but from what we give. – Ben Carson
Go first. Approach. Be a giver. Give her emotions, then you can easily ask for emotions from her. So much of social interactions, flirting and intimacy are about the exchanges of emotions from one person to the other.
Anytime you are communicating with someone in person, phone or text, ask yourself: Am I taking value from this person or giving value?”
Lesson 18: Believe in You
There is no reason why you are not enough for any woman. Girls want guys that don’t need them, but simply want them, by showing that:
- You are present, living in the moment
- You accept everything about yourself
- You are exactly where you want to be and only improving
You show these women that they can be a part of your life, but you don’t need them to be in your life to be happy. Trust in yourself. Do not doubt yourself. Accept that you may get social anxiety when you go out sometimes. Accept that you will get rejected from time to time, probably often, but it’s a part of the process.
Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.― Henry Ford
Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.― Henry Ford
This acceptance will actually make you more congruent, which is a sign of a strong reality, self-certainty, and– you guessed it– self-esteem. If you want a high quality beautiful woman then you must believe that you can attract a high quality, beautiful woman.
You must feel that all women are in your league and no woman is out of reach. If you look at certain women and immediately think, “no” not for me or “she wouldn’t go for a guy like me”, then you are right. It is a self fulfilling prophecy. If you think you can, then you will. If you think you can’t, then you’re absolutely right as well.
Lesson 19: Self Esteem
Self Esteem is simply about feeling good about yourself.
It is the consciousness to trust yourself, to put yourself first in a non-selfish, but self respecting manner. You do this when you feel competent to handle the challenges of life and prove yourself worthy of everything that is good. You become comfortable in your skin; believe that being you is the greatest thing on earth. You take up space in the world. You stop caring what other people think about you.
The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself – Mark Twain
Women are looking for a man that is an independent, self-sufficient entity. Women are looking for a man that does not put her in the highest position of his life. Show respect, but never be blinded or intimidated by the beauty of a woman. Don’t try to impress women or put them on a pedestal. They must demonstrate quality and work for your attention.
You are the prize women are trying to win over.
Your success with women, dating and anything else in life greatly depends on your standards and expectations. If you feel that you deserve beautiful, intelligent women, then you will get that when you earn it. Everything in life is a self fulfilling prophecy. Feel worthy and go for what you want. Leave no room for insecurity and stop caring about failure.
When you have self esteem, you practice being really good at being you. Nothing else matters. No one in the world will be as good as you simply being you. So be you 100% of the time because that’s all that matters.
Lesson 20: A Woman Should Not Be the Reason You are Happy in Life
You need to build up your own life and create that bad-ass lifestyle that you want.
Whatever bad-ass means to you, live that life. Women are a part of that life, but not the whole part. You need to be a whole and complete person on your own. Enjoy being single. Needing a woman in your life screams desperation.
Happiness depends upon ourselves. – Aristotle
You don’t want to find happiness in a woman because you are placing too much importance on one person in your life. Love her, treat her right and make her feel special, but absolutely do not place your entire life and happiness on one person’s shoulders.
Have other things going on in your life. Have a strong social network. Mingle with good friends, develop meaningful relationships, work on your career, and invest time in hobbies that you love.
The best time to get a girlfriend is when you don’t need one or want one…
Don’t get me wrong, an awesome girl is something that can magnify an already great life, but it cannot make your life go from average to great. That’s your job.Photos: © Andrey Kiselev © yanlev © konradbak © lassedesignen © Кирилл Рыжов © Valua Vitaly © stillkost © Maridav – Fotolia.com
As a man, you must lead your relationships, but also lead your life. Know where you are going and start taking actions toward your goals. It’s fine to care for a women, but also focus on creating a well balanced life. Think about your career, your health, your hobbies, your friends and family. You are great just the way you are, and that is why she wants you.
LEAD. People will follow you. She WILL FOLLOW.
Make the decisions, stay calm in times of chaos, and have control over your emotions. Be clean, well-organized, and fit, both physically and mentally.
You see a girl across the room who you like, and now you’re not afraid. You know that you can get her. You know that she wants you because of who you are.
Go get the women you want. Develop your life every damn day so it just keeps getting better and better. You wake up everyday and it feels like Christmas morning when you were a child.
This is your life. Your only life, so squeeze all the awesome out of it.
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