The 20 Lessons to Learn About Women And Dating or Be Single Forever

Do you remember the girl that made you feel the way that no one else could? The energy, excitement and sexual tension that could never fade away.

Can you think of a woman that you so badly want to be with right now.

Laughing. Naked. Passion. Music. All night…

Imagine being with this dream girl, getting along just perfect, deeply in love, and having passionate sex every day. No fights or arguing just absolute pleasure and ecstasy everyday.

Bliss…

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If any of the above sparks your interest then you need to read this article because it’s a life you can achieve.

I am going to help make this a reality for you.

You see, so much about becoming good with women and dating is about becoming good with yourself. Being a man is about reaching your own personal apex. It’s about becoming the best version of yourself, improving your confidence, honing your social skills and understanding female psyche.

Warning: This article is long, but if you don’t read this article you may experience:

  • being friend-zoned by the women you desire
  • massive amounts of sexual frustration
  • excessive porn use and chronic masturbation
  • depression, loneliness and social anxiety
  • being cheated on by the woman you love
  • girlfriend breaking up with you after several years for another man

Dedicate the time to read this article or you may experience a lifetime of mediocrity with women, settling for less than you deserve and boring sex to the point where Breaking Bad, House of Cards and Game of Thrones is more pleasurable than sex..

You only live once so let’s make the best of our relationships with women. I assure you that at the end of this article you will have a new understanding of women and experience significant improvements with women, dating and relationships.

I will show you what no other article or website would ever dare show you for free: what women actually respond to.

Use this article as a guide. Bookmark it. Share it with friends.

Lesson 1: The #1 Myth About What Women Really Want Debunked For Good

Men often think they can’t have the women they want because they don’t have enough money or good enough looks.

Let’s be real – money and good looks will get the woman’s attention, but that is all. The media has done a great job at making you believe in the erroneous assumption that money will get you your dream girl.

When you use money to take a woman out to nice dinners and to buy her gifts too early in the relationship, the woman will begin to think the man is trying to BUY her affection. Women see this as manipulation… and a LACK OF CONFIDENCE. Both these things are attraction killers. The woman may still answer your calls and let you take her out, but that is simply because she enjoys free stuff.

And who doesn’t?! Think about it.

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You take this woman out and buy her stuff. You take her to a nice dinner. And then she heads home and meets the guy she really wants to be with. This guy does nothing for her except hang out, have fun with her and build sexual tension yet he is the one sleeping with her while the other guy just dropped $100+ in one night on a date that lasted 2 hours.

After a certain point, money is meaningless. It ceases to be the goal. The game is what counts. – Aristotle Onassis

Women want men who have the confidence to know that he can please her without pulling out his wallet for everything. Very few men know this, and the rich guy who worked his ass off for the sole purpose of attracting women through power cannot even comprehend this fact. If you spend too much money on a woman or do too many favors for her, you are subtly telling her that your pocketbook is ALL YOU HAVE TO OFFER.

Personality is the key to being good with women and dating. It’s organic, it’s natural, and it’s who you are.

Deep down, women are attracted to your personality more-so than any other trait of a man. When you build up your personality so high women will chase you, want to have your babies and will get extremely pissed off and go borderline insane if you date them for years and don’t marry them.

Lesson 2: How To Take Women Off The Pedestal And Reclaim Your Masculinity

When you ask a woman what she want’s in a man one of the first thing she’ll say is “a nice guy”. Yes, it’s what women want, but it’s not what they respond to. And I am not suggesting that you go completely 180 right now and turn into an arrogant asshole either.

Ok, you eat Snickers right? Deep down in there is the soft chewy center of a man. It’s not a bad thing to be soft and vulnerable inside, but just be aware that women are not necessarily ATTRACTED to the soft, limp man until she’s first seen the HARD side of him.

Because when you’re soft (expressing feminine character), you put the woman above you on a pedestal (forcing her to take on the masculine role). Typically, a woman can only feel attraction for a man when she is in her feminine, therefore as a man you need to step into the masculine dominant role.

You become soft because you have the scarcity mentality. You’re not thinking about the big picture. You think there are just a few women out there and there’s nothing you can do about it. You think: “There is NOBODY out there for me so I better treat this one girl amazing because I don’t know if and when I will ever experience this again”.

Having a low opinion of yourself is not “modesty”. It’s self-destruction. Holding your uniqueness in high regard is not “egotism”. It’s a necessary precondition to happiness and success. – Bobbe Sommer

When you start thinking like this, you start liking girls that remotely show any signs of interest in you. You think you can’t create that same connection with another girl, so you settle for less than you deserve without even realizing it

YOU NEED TO REMOVE THE SCARCITY MENTALITY FROM YOUR LIFE AND SWITCH TO THE ABUNDANCE MENTALITY.

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It is strictly social conditioning.

There is more than one girl that you can have this feeling with. In fact, there are billions of women out there. And you can date these women when you take women off the damn pedestal you hand crafted out of gold for her.

Stop placing women on pedestals!

Check this out: Let’s say you meet a chill guy as a friend and then after only a few days he started buying you a bunch of stuff and paying for all your food and drinks. Then texts to make sure you got home ok, and “likes” all your facebook posts. What a lame dude…

Do you know what the pedestal does? It allows women to recline into the comfort you lavish them with, put their foot in your mouth that gives too many damn compliments, buys too many gifts, always being available and lets her walk all over you. Too early man it’s over before it started…

Always be a gentleman, and don’t be a little boy. Women will only respect you for how much you respect yourself.

Believe it or not, women hate being put on a pedestal! When you put women on pedestals, you see them as an overly valued commodity and not as a regular human being, which further pushes her away and into the arms of another man who respects himself.

Put yourself in the girl’s shoes…

Imagine a girl chasing you. She is constantly calling you. Every damn morning you get a text and you only hung out twice. She gets upset when you chill with your friends and you are not even dating. She left you an emotional voice mail when you forgot to respond to her text one time…This girl is crazy’ right? That’s the same as the nice needy guy. Don’t be that guy!

Nothing scares a woman off faster than a guy who becomes emotionally involved way too quickly. It is desperate, and makes the girl think things like: “What is wrong with this guy? Why is he in love with me already? Why is he pausing his life for me when we just met? Something must be wrong with him! I’ll stop talking to him.”

The guys that care too much don’t create sentiments of allure because guys that care too much are telling women– through concern, through availability, through his being there just a little too much- that he is in fact, not special or unique at all. He is just kinda there. He is more available than hydrogen, more common than dirt, and freer to talk to girl than the operator at Home Depot. But a smooth operator he is not..

Ultimately, the girl wants the guy that doesn’t need her, but wants her.

Ideally, the guy wants her really bad. But NEVER should he want her so much that he’ll start putting her on a pedestal and start valuing her over himself.

Lesson 3: How to Date the High Quality Women You See in Magazines

High quality women date high quality men.

Now, to attain a relationship with the woman of your dreams, you need to create an ABUNDANCE MENTALITY.

When you’re coming from this frame of mind, you demonstrate that you are a man of value. A man who has options is a man with power. Being a man of value is not something you can fake with little tricks and gimmicks, it’s something you are or you aren’t.

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Go out and meet new women daily. Stop rejecting yourself by not even talking to women you see all around you.

When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears. – Anthony Robbins

Socialize with more women, date more women, have sex with more women (I don’t support cheating). A lot of guys are put off by socializing with women they wouldn’t normally date. This is a weak mentality of worrying about what others think.

Listen up man I have news for you: If you want to be good with high quality women, you need to be good with all women.

Take surfing for example: During the course of learning how to surf, you can’t just say, “I only want to surf 10 foot waves. Anything lower is a waste of my time..” NO! You have to be good with all waves. No matter how wide, how tall, or how scary, you must try to ride them all in all environments. Just like surfing, with continuous practice, you can become good with women and dating.

Driving a car at 80mph with other cars on a freeway is more dangerous than approaching and talking to a girl you find attractive. Over 1.3 million people have died in a car accident whereas not one person has died from saying “hello” to a girl. Yet you drive everyday without any fear.

See, once you know and understand the kinds of personality traits that attract women, then you focus on cultivating those traits in yourself.

Get in touch with your adventurous side and make an effort to develop your sense of humor, self confidence and social skills. The more you improve yourself, the more high quality women will want you.

Lesson 4: The Grim Reaper of Attraction that 97% of Men Always Do and How to Stop It!

You will never, ever logically convince a girl to feel attraction for you. Telling a woman about your fancy car, nice house, big paycheck, or even your ability in bed will never go over well with a woman. This is the part that many rich guys just don’t seem to understand.

Women are emotional. Men are logical.

To get better with women and dating you must begin to speak their language. You must get on their emotional wave length. Women like you because of the vibe you give off. The way you make them feel is everything. It is all they will remember about you.

All God does is watch us and kills us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring. – Chuck Palahniuk

When you are with a woman, you are not in court trying to prove your case why this girl belongs with you okay. Men are way too logical…If you have struggled with women and dating in the past, then you’re probably too logical and boring. So how do you do that you might ask?

Don’t change her mind. Change her mood!

Those are words to live by…If you want something from a woman then explaining it to her will not work. Change her mood and her mind by changing her emotions.

Are you getting this?

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For example:

If you want to take a girl out and you just tell her let’s go to the new Italian restaurant and she responds, “Ugghhhh”, “Mehhhh”, or “Ummm, ok” she is already bored.

The better alternative would be to grab her and sweep her off her feet. Say something with bravado like: “Be ready by 7pm! We’re going to experience Italy tonight.” In this scene, she’s thinking: “O-M-G! this is new and exciting. What dress will I wear?” You cannot logically explain your way to sweep a woman off their feet. It’s done through emotions.

Stimulate her emotions. Have fun. Be the wild man she can’t control, but so badly wants to tame. Make sure they are reacting to you. She will want to go out with you again because of the vibe, energy, and emotions you give off and the adventures you create for her. Energy creates motion, motion creates emotions, and women are highly emotional beings.

Remember, ultimately a woman is attracted to you because of your personality and the emotions you create in her mind. You need to show your personality. Let it shine. Be someone. Be EVENTFUL.

Go out and have a freakin’ blast!

Lesson 5: The #1 Secret to Instantly Increase Your Status As a Man

All humans want what they cannot have. Let her chase you. Be a challenge.

Why do people want diamonds? It’s just a rock. However, it is rare rock. And shiny perhaps but the fact that it is rare and aesthetically pleasing fits exactly within the parameters of stuff people want. Things that are rare are not easily obtained.

When things are not easily obtained, everybody wants those things and they go up in value. Humans have egos, and egos have the need to be unique and distinct from others.

BE DIAMONDS.

I conceive that the great part of the miseries of mankind are brought upon them by false estimates they have made of the value of things. – Benjamin Franklin

Women are not to be valued more than your own life. A woman will not chase you if you view her as the prize. No. Enough of that. You’ve been doing that for decades and look at where it got you. You are the damn prize! Flip the script and wah-lah your status increases.

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It’s what she undeniably wants.

Women want you to be interesting. Women want a challenge since it makes you stand out unlike the rest of all the other men who have the scarcity mentality, they chase, they put her on a pedestal.

It’s fun for them. Games are fun and challenging, and that’s why you should be more playful.

Beautiful women are used to men fawning over any sign of interest from them. If you have the balls to hesitate on returning such a sign, you send a powerful message about how self-confident you are and how little you need from her.

The 3 mindsets to have with women you really like (write all 3 down):

1. You want the girl, but you don’t need her.

2. You want the girl, but you don’t need her.

3. You want the girl, but you don’t need her.

No, the above is not a typo. It’s the truth.

Look, attraction isn’t something you decide upon—it’s an uncontrollable reaction to the right qualities. Attraction is sub-conscious, not conscious. When you hit the right emotional triggers, then attraction follows. There are no if’s, and’s, or but’s…when you hit her emotional attraction triggers she will be sexually attracted to you.

It’s a compulsion on her part, not a decision. One surefire way to kill the attraction impulse before it grows is to appear worried about whether or not she likes you (lack of confidence, scarcity mentality, pedestal thinking).

Instead of thinking “I hope she likes me” you must switch to “I hope I like her”.

Are you getting it now?

Take the lead and she will follow suit. Assume she does, and she will. When a woman senses that you’re a tough catch, your value increases in her eyes. She doesn’t want the guy that any pretty girl can sway—she wants the one that can’t be tamed, the wild one, the one who couldn’t care less about the girls that come and go. She wants the mystery that not just any attractive woman can unravel, but only her.

Lesson 6: How To Overcome Rejection From the 9s and 10s and Stay in the Game

Look, to meet and attract beautiful women you have to realize one thing: it’s a numbers game and not every girl you talk to is going like you no matter how good you get with women and dating.

In the 20-35 age demographic, the breakdown is:

  • 1/3 of girls are in a relationship
  • 1/3 of girls are just not interested
  • 1/3 of girls are open (woohoo!)

There will be some girls that do not like you and there’s nothing you can do about it. Let me repeat that one more time: There will be some girls that do not like you and there’s nothing you can do about it.

And depending on how you can handle this dilemma will determine how long you can last in this game and if you will ever date the woman of your dreams.

I find it interesting that when Kobe Bryant was playing ball he had the most points per game in the league but also had the most missed shots too (mind blown I know!).

A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success. – Bo Bennett

Acknowledge this. Accept this. But, realize this is a good thing. Know that the more you build yourself up to become the man you want to be, the less of this you will see. Keep in mind there is no man, not even the best pick up artist in the world or billionaire that can sweep any woman off their feet. Nobody’s perfect. You’re on the same playing field as every man.

Cool huh?

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The key is that you can’t let this get to you.

You can’t let it bring you down and prevent you from moving forward to the next girl. Always keep the abundance mindset in your thoughts both consciously and subconsciously.

There are billions of women out there, many of whom who would love to be with you! You just need to put yourself out there, take action and not take rejection so seriously.

Fall down 7, get up 8, let’s go!!!

Lesson 7: How to Stop Waiting For the Right Time and Get in the Game!

Women want men who are assertive and go after whatever they want in life. Stand up, go after what you want, and get what you want. If you are rejected, then respectfully bow out and keep going on to the next.

Act, fail, learn, succeed. That’s all it is baby!

See, a lot of guys simply reject themselves. They don’t even give a woman the chance to reject them. They do this by not going out, not following up with numbers, not trying to set a date, not escalating, allowing themselves to be friend-zoned. Every shot you don’t take in this game is a missed shot. Do not do this! Do not ever reject yourself!

Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. – Abraham Lincoln

Women want men who go after what they want. Never hide your interest in a girl. She may reject you at first. Keep going. Stay grounded. Try again later. Persistence does pay off. It may seem annoying at first, but the end result will be either you get the girl you want or you don’t and nothing more or less. It really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

You did not lose anything. You are exactly where you started.

Success is good because it is SUCCESS. Failure is also good because you learn from it and then it becomes SUCCESS.

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Nothing bad can happen. Remember, it’s all a learning experience and your on your journey to becoming the best version of yourself. Go after what you want in life and don’t let anything stop you. Take action. Be decisive in life and results will follow.

It’s the law of the universe… or did I just make that up ;)

Women want men who will change the world around them. Men who change the world take massive action and persist against all odds.

Hey, real quick check out my free online workshop on becoming a stronger grounded man so you can have more success in your life and relationships here.

Lesson 8: Why A Purpose Driven Man is Deadly Attractive to Women

What women really love is a guy that has ambitions and goals in life. A man who goes for his dreams and lives purposefully is also a man with the power to allure. You must become a man who knows who he is, knows what he wants, and knows that he has the determination to get there. It could be in school, career, business, or even just a hobby.

I want to live my life in such a way that when I get out of bed in the morning the devil says, “aw shit, he’s up! – Steve Maraboli

Do not leave things to luck, guessing or wishing. Having passion in life is absolutely vital. Maybe your mission is to just enjoy life to the fullest. Perhaps you simply want to enjoy spending time with your friends and family, playing sports, traveling the globe. Or you simply want to enjoy nature, art, music and more. That is great. Just show the women you want in your life that you have many things going on besides them.

Choose to be alive and maximize every second of life.

The past is the past and the future is not something to live for. You must understand that this present moment is the best moment of your life.

Listen, you don’t need to be a millionaire, you just need to have that drive to be more, do more and want more. Go after the things you want in life and let her know that those are your priorities. She can come along for the adventure if she wants to, but you’ve got work to do and you’re never going to abandon your dreams for her. She is not your path and purpose in life.

This is so important because all too often girls will come into a man’s life and the man will divert his purpose to the girl. Impressing and keeping the girl becomes the man’s mission. This is pedestal thinking and scarcity mentality! And this ultimately pushes the girl further away into another man’s arms. She wants to chase you, so let her.

You are the prize on your path and purpose in life, always remember that.

Lesson 9: This Isn’t About Women – It’s About Becoming Your Best Self

Men tend to make the mistake of thinking that attractiveness solely means aesthetically pleasing. In reality, women determine if a man is attractive through the whole picture: personality, goals, drive, look, fitness, dress, grooming, hygiene, and status. They don’t just simply look at your face and think, “oh he is sexy I want to have babies and spend the rest of my life with him.”

No they are looking at the whole package as they should.

The good thing is that almost every man can present himself in an attractive way. It really doesn’t matter how good your genes are. No matter how tall, small, fat, thin, you are, you can always be successful with women and dating.

Your level of success is proportional to your level of personal development – Hal Elrod

Most of the successful men with women and dating that have ever lived would never have won a beauty pageant; they simply did the most with what they were born with. These men were confident, they dressed well, they maximized their strengths, had a well developed personality and they were well groomed.

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You don’t have to be the best looking guy, but you have to take care of yourself. Practice confident body language and try to stand out with your own unique style. Shower regularly, clean your nails, shave, no weird beard, no neck hair, get a new hairstyle, maintain white teeth, straighten your teeth, get a natural tan, get inspiration from fashion magazines, go to the gym 3x per week, eat nutritious food, and clean your place.

But do not do these things for her, do these things for YOURSELF, because a man should have the ambition and drive to motivate himself and not do it with the hopes of getting a woman.

See, you stack the odds in your favor by constantly improving your personal appearance. When you make an effort to get in shape, maintain great hygiene, and keep your wardrobe and hairstyle updated, looking great is only a fraction of the benefits you will accumulate. You’ll also quickly build your confidence and women will begin to notice.

Lesson 10: You Must Feel Entitled to the Woman You Want Or She Won’t Even Know You Exist

Entitlement is knowing that you are the best possible person a girl could have. When you speak from the core, this comes out as 100% authentic and the girl feels it. If you don’t feel entitled then you start caring too much about the girl, feeling too self conscious, nervous and fidgety when interacting with the woman.

Psychologists found that people ended up dating other people of similar attractiveness to them. “you attract who you are.” So, a guy who is a 7 will date girls that are 7’s. A guy who’s a 10 will date girls who are 10’s.

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But, here’s the interesting part: a guy’s value on the 1-10 scale is made up by his own beliefs system whereas society unfortunately dictates a girl’s value mostly by her physical appearance. By looking hot, she receives external validation from society and, from that validation, she behaves appropriately as a 10.

So, when a guy that believes he’s a 6 approaches a girl that’s an 8, he doesn’t feel entitled. He is shaky. Deep down, he doesn’t believe in himself and that she’ll be better off with someone else.

If he does happen to get her, he’ll be super happy because he got a woman out of his league. By being with her, he’s constantly sucking value because he’s always looking for reassurance and validation that she won’t leave him. Therefore, she is out of his league after all and will leave to find a man who feels more entitled to her.

So how do you get entitlement with the women you want?

1. Change your environment so that you are consistently meeting the women you want on a regular basis. This becomes the new norm. If you live in an area where beautiful women are scarce (small suburban city) then yes this will make it hard for you to ask her out, but if it’s in abundance (Los Angeles) you will feel like its normal.

2. Understand that women are regular people who eat, shit, bitch, sleep and occasionally go through the McDonalds drive through at midnight just like you do. They are not special goddesses from heaven. And in 7-10 years most of her physical beauty will fade away.

3. Take more action and get more positive reference experiences with the women you want so you begin to reinforce your current belief system.

4. Improve your overall life. Build your personality, hit the gym, advance in your career or build your business, be more social and learn to just have fun.

Well, there you go i’ve just given you 10 of the 20 lessons to get the women, dating life and relationships you want. The next 10 lessons go way deeper and give you everything you need. Don’t miss out click the link below:

>>>Go to PART II for the Next 10 Lessons<<<

If you like this article then you’re going to love my best selling book on dating and relationships: The Dating Playbook For Men 

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Also, I’m doing a free online workshop on becoming a stronger grounded man so you can have more success in your life and relationships. Register here

And if you enjoyed this article so far, please share it on your preferred social network on the left. I spent over a month writing this article. Let’s make an impact on thousands of men around the world together so they can have the dating lives they want :)

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5 Responses to The 20 Lessons to Learn About Women And Dating or Be Single Forever

  1. Danielius October 28, 2013 at 11:20 pm #

    Where are you getting these awesome pictures? They look so professional! :O

    P.S. I wish I had this list before I found a girlfriend. Oh well. :))

  2. Fxn Awesom December 17, 2013 at 3:19 pm #

    O
    I knew some of it
    Some new I learnt here :)
    Good stuff
    Thanks fo doing this social service!

  3. edwin January 22, 2014 at 6:32 pm #

    i wanna know what how to felling loved

  4. Leon February 20, 2014 at 1:36 am #

    This is great stuff that I think every man should know. As a guy that grew up without guidance as to how and what it means to really be a man I appreciate the efforts put into this site. Thanks and keep it up.

  5. Nika September 22, 2014 at 5:28 pm #

    Wow as a female, this is dead on. Is there version for girls!???