Do you remember the girl that made you feel the way that no one else could? The energy, excitement and sensual tension that you wanted to last forever.
Can you think of a woman that you so badly want to be with right now.
Laughing. Intimacy. Passion. All night…
Imagine being with this woman, getting along just perfect, deeply in love, and having great connection every day. No fights or arguing just absolute joy and pleasure everyday.
If any of the above sparks your interest then you need to pay attention.
I am going to help you improve your dating and relationships with women and reveal everything I’ve learned after interviewing 200+ dating and relationship experts and going on my own personal journey of success in dating and relationships.
You see, so much about becoming good with women and dating is about becoming good with yourself. Being a man is about reaching your own personal apex. It’s about becoming the best version of yourself, improving your confidence, honing your social skills, understanding female psyche and being able to make bold moves.
My goal in this article is to significantly reduce and prevent men from the following:
- being friend-zoned by attractive women
- massive amounts of sexual frustration
- excessive adult website use
- depression and loneliness
- being cheated on
- giving up on their dating life and relationships altogether
You only live once so let’s make the best of our relationships while we’re here. I assure you that at the end of this article you will have a new understanding of women and experience significant improvements with women, dating and relationships.
I will show you what no other article would ever dare show you for free: what women actually respond to.
Tip: Use this article as a guide. Bookmark it. Share it with friends and discuss it together.
Lesson 1: The #1 Myth About What Women Really Want Debunked
Men often think they can’t have the women they want because they don’t have enough money or good enough looks.
Let’s be real – money and good looks will get the woman’s attention, but that is all. It’s like a nice billboard advertisement it gets your attention but it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll buy the product. The media has done a great job at making you believe in the erroneous assumption that money and six pack abs is the path to get your dream girl.
When you use money to take a woman out to nice dinners and to buy her gifts too early in the relationship, the woman will begin to think the man is trying to BUY her affection. Women see this as manipulation… and a LACK OF CONFIDENCE. Both of these are instant attraction killers. The woman may still answer your calls and let you take her out, but that is simply because she enjoys free stuff.
And who doesn’t?! Think about it.
You take this woman out and buy her stuff. You take her to a nice dinner. And then she heads home and meets the guy she really wants to be with. This guy does nothing for her except hang out, have fun with her and build sexual tension yet he is the one taking her home while the other guy just dropped $150+ in one night on a date that lasted 1.5 hours.
After a certain point, money is meaningless. It ceases to be the goal. The game is what counts. – Aristotle Onassis
Women want men who have the confidence to know that he can have a good time with her without pulling out his wallet for everything. Very few men know this, and the rich guy who worked his tail off for the sole purpose of attracting women through power cannot even comprehend this fact. If you spend too much money on a woman or do too many favors for her, you are subtly telling her that your pocketbook is ALL YOU HAVE TO OFFER.
And if she actually likes this then my advice to men is: RUN!
Personality is the key to being good with women and dating. It’s organic, it’s natural, and it’s who you are.
Deep down, women are attracted to your personality more-so than any other trait of a man. When you build up your personality you simultaneously increase your attractiveness.
Lesson 2: How To Take Women Off The Pedestal And Reclaim Your Masculinity
When you ask a woman what she want’s in a man one of the first thing she’ll say is “a nice guy”. Yes, it’s what women want, but it’s not what they respond to. And I am not suggesting that you go completely 180 right now and turn into an arrogant jerk either.
Ok, you eat Snickers right? Deep down in there is the soft chewy center of a man. It’s not a bad thing to be soft and vulnerable inside, but just be aware that women are not necessarily ATTRACTED to the soft, limp man until she’s first seen the HARD side of him.
Because when you’re soft (expressing feminine character), you put the woman above you on a pedestal (forcing her to take on the masculine role). Typically, a woman can only feel attraction for a man when she is in her feminine, therefore as a man you need to step into the masculine dominant role.
You become soft because you have the scarcity mentality. You’re not thinking about the big picture. You think there are just a few women out there and there’s nothing you can do about it. You think: “There is NOBODY out there for me so I better treat this one girl amazing because I don’t know if and when I will ever experience this again”.
Having a low opinion of yourself is not “modesty”. It’s self-destruction. Holding your uniqueness in high regard is not “egotism”. It’s a necessary precondition to happiness and success. – Bobbe Sommer
When you start thinking like this, you start liking girls that remotely show any signs of interest in you. You think you can’t create that same connection with another girl, so you settle for less than you deserve without even realizing it
YOU NEED TO REMOVE THE SCARCITY MENTALITY FROM YOUR LIFE AND SWITCH TO THE ABUNDANCE MENTALITY.
It is strictly social conditioning.
There is more than one girl that you can have this feeling with. In fact, there are billions of women out there. And you can date these women when you take women off the pedestal you hand crafted out of gold for her.
Stop placing women on pedestals!
It doesn’t serve you and women don’t like it in the long run.
Check this out: Let’s say you meet a chill guy as a friend and then after only a few days he started buying you a bunch of stuff and paying for all your food and drinks. Then texts to make sure you got home ok, and “likes” all your facebook posts. What a weird dude…
Do you know what the pedestal does? It allows women to recline into the comfort you lavish them with, put their foot in your mouth that gives too many fake compliments, buys too many gifts, always being available and lets her walk all over you. Too early man it’s over before it started…
You minus well lay on the floor and tell her to walk all over you!
Always be a gentleman, and don’t be a little boy. Women will only respect you for how much you respect yourself.
Believe it or not, women hate being put on a pedestal! When you put women on pedestals, you see them as an overly valued commodity and not as a regular human being, which further pushes her away and into the arms of another man who respects himself.
Put yourself in the woman’s shoes…
Imagine a woman chasing you. She is constantly calling you. Every morning you get a text and you only hung out twice. She gets upset when you chill with your friends and you are not even dating. She left you an emotional voice mail when you forgot to respond to her text one time…This girl is crazy right? That’s the same as the nice needy guy. Don’t be that guy!
Nothing scares a woman off faster than a guy who becomes emotionally involved way too quickly. It is desperate, and makes the girl think: “What is wrong with this guy? Why is he in love with me already? Why is he pausing his life for me when we just met?
Something must be wrong with him she’ll think.
The guys that care too much lowers his own value and doesn’t create sentiments of allure because guys that care too much are telling women– through concern, through availability, through his being there too much- that he is in fact, not special or unique at all. He is just kinda there. He is more available than hydrogen, more common than dirt, and freer to talk to than the operator at Home Depot – but a smooth operator he is not..
Ultimately, the girl wants the guy that doesn’t need her, but wants her.
Ideally, the guy wants her really bad. But NEVER should he want her so much that he’ll start putting her on a pedestal and start valuing her over himself and his own life.
She’ll run faster than Usain Bolt in the Olympics and any person who has respect for himself would do the same.
Lesson 3: High Quality Women Date High Quality Men
Wait a minute, so you’re telling me that I can’t play video games, drink booze, watch netflix and smoke who knows what everyday and be attractive to high quality women?
To attain a relationship with the woman of your dreams, you need to create an ABUNDANCE MENTALITY.
When you’re coming from this frame of mind, you demonstrate that you are a man of value. A man who has options is a man with power. Being a man of value is not something you can fake with little tricks and gimmicks, it’s something you are or you aren’t.
Go out and meet new women daily. Stop rejecting yourself by not even talking to women you see all around you.
When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears. – Anthony Robbins
Socialize with more women, date more women, have intimate connections with more women (I don’t support cheating!). A lot of guys are put off by socializing with women they wouldn’t normally date. This is a weak mentality of worrying about what others think.
Listen up I have news for you: If you want to be good with high quality women, you need to be good with all women.
Take surfing for example: During the course of learning how to surf, you can’t just say, “I only want to surf 10 foot waves. Anything lower is a waste of my time..” NO! You have to be good with all waves. No matter how wide, how tall, or how scary, you must try to ride them all in all environments. Just like surfing, with continuous practice, you can improve with women and dating.
Reality Check: Driving a car at 80mph and changing lanes with other cars on a freeway is more dangerous than approaching and talking to a girl you find attractive. Over 1.3 million people every year have died in a car accident whereas not one person has died from saying “hello” to a girl.
Yet you drive everyday without any fear.
See, once you know and understand the kinds of personality traits that attract women, then you focus on cultivating those traits in yourself.
Get in touch with your adventurous side and make an effort to develop your sense of humor, self confidence and social skills. The more you improve yourself, the more high quality women will be interested in you.
When you improve your life you improve your relationships and all of the people inside your life.
Lesson 4: The Grim Reaper of Attraction that 97% of Men Always Do
You will never, ever logically convince a girl to feel attraction for you. Telling a woman about your fancy car, nice house, big paycheck, or even your ability in bed will never go over well with a woman. This is the part that many financially successful guys just don’t seem to get and refuse to understand.
Women are emotional. Men are logical.
To improve with women and dating you must speak their language. You must get on their emotional wave length. Women like you because of the vibe you give off. The way you make them feel is everything. It is all they will remember about you.
All God does is watch us and kills us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring. – Chuck Palahniuk
When you are with a woman, you are not in court trying to prove your case why this girl belongs with you okay. Men are way too logical…If you have struggled with women and dating in the past, then you’re likely too logical and boring or at least when you’re with her.
So how do you do this you might ask?
This statement will change everything: Don’t change her mind. Change her mood!
Those are words to live by… If you want something from a woman then explaining it to her will not work. Change her mood and her mind by changing her emotions.
Are you getting this? This is huge…
If you want to take a girl out and you just tell her let’s go to the Italian restaurant and she responds, “Ugghhhh”, “Mehhhh”, or “Ummm, ok” she is already bored and may go along with the flow unless she has something better to do.
The better alternative would be to grab her, spin her and sweep her off her feet. Say something with bravado like: “Mio amore be ready by 7pm! We’re going to experience Italy tonight.”
In this scene, she’s thinking: “O-M-G what is going on! this is new and exciting. What will I wear?”
You cannot logically explain your way to sweep a woman off their feet. It’s done through emotions.
Stimulate her emotions. Have fun. Be the wild man she can’t control, but so badly wants to tame. Make her react to your actions and stop waiting to be put on. She will want to go out with you again because of the vibe, energy, and emotions you give off and the adventures you create for her.
Every woman is secretly looking for the wild man who will sweep her off her feet and take her on an adventure away from the daily drudgery of life.
Major epiphany: Energy creates motion, motion creates emotions, and women are highly emotional beings.
Remember, a woman is attracted to you because of your personality and the emotions you create in her mind and body. Show your personality more. Let it shine. Be someone. Be EVENTFUL.
Always ask yourself “what would make this a better experience?”
Choose the option that forces you to make a bold move.
You live once my reader, so go out and make it like a movie!
Lesson 5: The #1 Secret to Rapidly Increase Your Status As a Man
All humans want what they cannot have. Let her chase you. Be a challenge.
Why do people want diamonds? It’s just a rock. However, it is rare rock. And shiny perhaps but the fact that it is rare and aesthetically pleasing fits exactly within the parameters of stuff people want. Things that are rare are not easily obtained which increases it’s value.
When things are not easily obtained, everybody wants those things and they go up in value. Humans have egos, and egos have the need to be unique and distinct from one another.
I conceive that the great part of the miseries of mankind are brought upon them by false estimates they have made of the value of things. – Benjamin Franklin
Women are not to be valued more than your own life and ambitions. A woman will not chase you if you view her as the prize. Enough of that. It doesn’t work. You are the grand prize! Flip the script and wah-lah your status increases.
Women won’t tell you this but they actually prefer it this way.
Women want you to be interesting. Women want a challenge since it makes you stand out unlike the rest of all the other men who have the scarcity mentality, they chase, they put her on a pedestal thus they bore her to death.
Games are fun and challenging, and that’s why you should be more playful and adventurous.
Beautiful women are used to men fawning over any sign of interest from them. If you have the ability to hesitate on returning such a sign, you send a powerful message about how self-confident you are and how little you need from her.
The 3 mindsets to have with women you really like (write all 3 down):
1. You want the girl, but you don’t need her.
2. You want the girl, but you don’t need her.
3. You want the girl, but you don’t need her.
No, the above is not a typo. It’s the truth.
Look, attraction isn’t something you decide upon—it’s an uncontrollable reaction to the right qualities. Attraction is sub-conscious, not conscious. When you hit the right emotional triggers, then attraction follows. There are no if’s, and’s, or but’s…when you hit her emotional attraction triggers she will be sexually attracted to you.
It’s a compulsion on her part, not a decision. One surefire way to kill the attraction impulse before it grows is to appear worried about whether or not she likes you (lack of confidence, scarcity mentality, pedestal thinking).
Instead of thinking “I hope she likes me” you must switch to “I hope I like her”.
Are you getting it now?
Take the lead and she will follow suit. Assume she does, and she will. When a woman senses that you’re a tough catch, your value increases in her eyes. She doesn’t want the guy that any woman can sway— she wants the one that can’t be tamed, the wild one, the one who couldn’t care less about the girls that come and go. She wants the mystery that not just any attractive woman can unravel, but only her.
Lesson 6: How To Overcome the Fear of Rejection From Attractive Women
Look, to meet and attract beautiful women you have to realize one thing: it’s a numbers game and not every girl you talk to is going like you no matter how good you get with women and dating or how big your bank account is.
In the 20-35 age demographic, the breakdown is:
- 1/3 of girls are in a relationship
- 1/3 of girls are just not interested
- 1/3 of girls are open (woohoo!)
There will be some girls that do not like you and there’s nothing you can do about it. Let me repeat that one more time: There will be some girls that do not like you and there’s nothing you can do about it.
And depending on how you can handle this dilemma will determine how long you can last in this game and if you will ever date the woman you really want.
I find it interesting that when Kobe Bryant was playing in the NBA he had the most points per game in the league but also had the most missed shots too (mind blown I know!).
A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success. – Bo Bennett
Accept this yet realize this is a good thing. Know that the more you build yourself up to become the man you want to be, the less of this you will see. Keep in mind there is no man, not even the best “pick up artist” in the world or billionaire that can sweep any woman off their feet. Nobody’s perfect. You’re on the same playing field as every man.
Pretty cool huh?
The key is that you can’t let this get to you like so many men do. It will be to your demise if you do.
You can’t let it bring you down and prevent you from moving forward to the next girl. Always keep the abundance mindset in your thoughts both consciously and subconsciously.
There are millions of women out there, many of whom who would love to be with you! You just need to put yourself out there, take action and not take rejection so seriously.
Fall down 7, get up 8, let’s go I’m with you!
Lesson 7: Stop Waiting For the Right Time, Take More Action and Get the Girl!
Women want men who are assertive and go after whatever they want in life. Stand up, go after what you want, and get what you want. If you are rejected, then respectfully bow out and keep going on to the next.
Act, fail, learn, succeed. That’s all it is baby!
See, a lot of guys simply reject themselves. They don’t even give a woman the chance to reject them. They do this by not going out, not following up with numbers, not trying to setup a date, not escalating, allowing themselves to be friend-zoned. Every shot you don’t take in this game is a missed shot. Do not do this! Do not ever reject yourself!
Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. – Abraham Lincoln
Women want men who go after what they want. Never hide your interest in a girl. She may reject you at first. Keep going. Stay grounded. Give it time. Try again later. Persistence does pay off.
I’ve spoken with many very attractive women who are in relationships and married and most of them said at first they didn’t like their current boyfriend/husband when they first met.
That’s refreshing to hear huh?
It may seem annoying at first, but the end result will be either you get the girl you want or you don’t and nothing more or less. It really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.
You did not lose anything. You are exactly where you started.
Success is good because it is SUCCESS. Failure is also good because you learn from it and then it becomes SUCCESS.
Nothing bad can happen. Remember, it’s all a learning experience and your on your journey to becoming the best version of yourself. Go after what you want in life and don’t let anything stop you. Take action. Be decisive in life and results will follow.
It’s the law of the universe… or did I just make that up 😉
Women want men who will change the world around them and men who change the world take massive action and persist against all odds.
Lesson 8: Why A Purpose Driven Man is Deadly Attractive to Women
What women really love is a guy that has ambitions and goals in life. A man who goes for his dreams and lives purposefully is also a man with the power to allure. You must become a man who knows who he is, knows what he wants, and knows that he has the determination to get there. It could be in school, career, business, or even just a hobby.
I want to live my life in such a way that when I get out of bed in the morning the devil says, “aw shit, he’s up! – Steve Maraboli
Do not leave things to luck, guessing or wishing. Having passion in life is absolutely vital. Maybe your mission is to just enjoy life to the fullest. Perhaps you simply want to enjoy spending time with your friends and family, playing sports, traveling the globe. Or you simply want to enjoy nature, art, music and more. That is great. Just show the women you want in your life that you have many things going on besides them and she is not the main reason for getting out of bed every morning.
Choose to be alive and maximize every second of life.
The past is the past and the future is not something to live for. You must understand that this present moment is the best moment of your life.
When you can really embrace that your whole life changes in an instant.
Listen, you don’t need to be a millionaire, you just need to have that drive to be more, do more and want more. Go after the things you want in life and show her know that through your consistent actions towards those goals. She can come along for the adventure if she wants to, but you’ve got work to do and you’re never going to abandon your dreams for her. She is not your path and purpose in life, yet she can be apart of it.
This is so important because all too often girls will come into a man’s life and the man will divert his purpose in life to the girl. Impressing and keeping the girl becomes the man’s #1 mission (I’m guilty of doing this a number of times and it always fails!)
This is pedestal thinking and scarcity mentality! And this ultimately pushes the woman further away into another man’s arms. She wants to chase you, so let her.
You are the prize on your path and purpose in life, always remember that.
Lesson 9: This Isn’t About Women – It’s About Becoming the Best Version of Yourself
Men tend to make the mistake of thinking that attractiveness solely means aesthetically pleasing with 6 pack abs. In reality, women determine if a man is attractive through the whole picture: personality, goals, drive, look, fitness, dress, grooming, hygiene, social life and status. They don’t just simply look at your face and think, “oh he is attractive I want to have babies and spend the rest of my life with him.”
No they are looking at the whole package as they should.
The good thing is that almost every man can present himself in an attractive way to even the most attractive of women. It really doesn’t matter how good your genes are. No matter how tall, small, fat, thin, you are, you can always improve and be more successful with women and dating.
Your level of success is proportional to your level of personal development – Hal Elrod
Most of the successful men with women and dating that have ever lived would never have won a beauty pageant; they simply did the most with what they were born with. These men were confident, they dressed well, they maximized their strengths, had a well developed personality and they were well groomed.
You don’t have to be the best looking guy, but you have to take care of yourself. Practice confident body language and try to stand out with your own unique style. Shower regularly, clean your nails, shave, no weird beard, no neck hair, get a new hairstyle, maintain white teeth, straighten your teeth, get a natural tan, get inspiration from fashion magazines, go to the gym 3x per week, eat nutritious food, and clean your place.
But do not do these things for her, do these things for YOURSELF, because a man should have the ambition and drive to motivate himself and not do it with the hopes of attracting a woman.
See, you stack the odds in your favor by constantly improving your personal well being. When you make an effort to get in shape, maintain great hygiene, and keep your wardrobe and hairstyle updated, looking great is only a fraction of the benefits you will accumulate.
You’ll also quickly build your confidence and women will begin to take notice…
Lesson 10: How to Feel Entitled to the Woman You Really Want
Entitlement is knowing that you are the best possible man a woman could have. When you speak from the core, this comes out as 100% authentic and the girl feels it. If you don’t feel entitled then you start caring too much about the girl, feeling too self conscious, nervous, anxious and fidgety when interacting with the woman.
Psychologists found that people ended up dating other people of similar attractiveness to them. “you attract who you are.” So, a guy who is a 7 will date girls that are 7’s. A guy who’s a 10 will date girls who are 10’s.
But, here’s the interesting part: a guy’s value on the 1-10 scale is made up by his own beliefs system whereas society unfortunately dictates a girl’s value mostly by her physical appearance. By looking hot, she receives external validation from society and, from that validation, she subconsciously behaves appropriately as a 10.
So, when a guy believes he’s a 6 approaches a girl that’s an 8, he doesn’t feel entitled. He is shaky. Deep down, he doesn’t believe in himself and that she’ll be better off with someone else.
If he does happen to get her interest, he’ll be super happy because he got a woman out of his league. By being with her, he’s constantly sucking value because he’s always looking for reassurance and validation that she won’t leave him in the form of jealousy, clinginess and being overly needy.
Therefore, she is out of his league after all and will leave to find a man who feels more entitled to her.
So how do you get entitlement with the women you want?
1. Change your environment so that you are consistently meeting the women you want on a regular basis. This becomes the new norm. If you live in an area where beautiful women are scarce (small suburban town) then yes this will make it hard for you to ask her out, but if it’s in abundance (Los Angeles or the biggest city in your area) it will feel more normal.
2. Understand that women are regular people who eat, crap, have life problems, struggle financially, sleep and occasionally go through the McDonalds drive through at midnight just like you have. They are not special goddesses from heaven that can do no wrong. And the truth is in 7-10 years most of her physical beauty will fade away.
3. Take more action and get more positive reference experiences with the women you want so you begin to reinforce your current belief system.
4. Improve your overall life. Build your personality, hit the gym, advance in your career or build your business, be more social and learn to just have fun.
Well, there you go i’ve just given you 10 of the 20 lessons to get the women, dating life and relationships you want. The next 10 lessons go deep and give you even more value. Don’t miss out click the link below:
If you like this article then you’re going to love my best selling book on dating and relationships over at amazon: The Dating Playbook For Men
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